The "try harder" statement is ironic.

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So it seems in regards to their disabilities many aspies get told that they're "just not trying hard enough", "you just need more practice".

But I just realized something; that's actually a really ironic statement. The irony is that people with ASD are the ones who actually have to put in effort for socializing, motor skills etc, while everyone who says "try harder" don't need to because their brains are doing all the work for them.

True for most people, but there are also those who don't even seem to try to learn the most basic social skills and say that they "can't because they're autistic." Yes, learning some things is definitely harder for us than for NTs but no, that's not an accetable reason to not to try at all.

Then again, everyone needs to keep in mind that even if it looks like someone's not trying at all they could still be doing so and just be so bad and/or slow that you can't tell the difference from not trying at all.

I would rather say : don't try harder, forgive yourself for your failures, and try again.