Misdiagnosed or just improved?

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Hi there. I've been diagnosed with Asperger's and ADHD as a kid, but I'm still greatly questioning my AS diagnosis.

My instinct always told me otherwise, that I have something else very different. But ADHD I do feel like it. But I don't feel "autistic" enough for some reason. I'm not saying this because I wanna fit in the norm. But I do feel generalized by the autism word.

I know what autism is. Half of my friends in my life had some kind of ASD, with many different types. I have a severely autistic brother. I've researched TONS about the condition. I'm aware of Autism Speaks's propaganda.

But I still feel like I'm somehow different from them. Like I see things differently from autistic people and NT's alike. I can understand NT's from their perspective with barely any conscious effort. I've been told that I'm in "denial" before and I don't think that's the case. I mean, I tend to act "autistic" sometimes, like stimming a lot, special interests, and even being a long time fan of videos like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toNC6-9wWek (which only seems to attract autistic kids/teens a lot for some unexplainable reason), and other complicated things in my mind, but... when people try to persuade me than I'm autistic, it really gets on my nerves because they wanna challenge my identity and bring me down to their level of understanding, and they compare me to their past experiences. To the people who said "Oh, I used to think like that but now I accept my diagnosis and you should do like me"... um, that sounds very one-sided, and that is your experience, not mine. Some people treat me differently just because they know about my diagnosis. Can I at least trust my gut? Also, being in special ed has isolated me from neurotypical people for years and has prevented me from growing up with them, and I think that ever since this started, my original self/potential shut down and I sorta absorbed from the special kids' behaviors and mentalities due to being around them.

Just because I tend to have bouts of autism on a daily basis and that I don't really think like the norm doesn't mean I'm definitely autistic.... right??

Everyone's different, right??

I think that I'm just being my eccentric self and people misunderstood it. I feel very misunderstood. Everytime I talk about personal stuff like this it brings me even more problems. Being called the A word for years probably affected me subconsciously a lot. It almost feels like an insult. Really, I'm just a unique individual and people should chill out with their diagnosing. The excuse that I can get better services with a diagnosis sounds so pathetic... I feel like a lot of other people are also misdiagnosed with autism or something like that for some reason. I don't even know why I was diagnosed.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way. I probably haven't put sufficient information to explain fully my situation, but I hope someone understands.

What are other possibilities?

It's a pity that you're in Special Ed. Are you on the path towards a regular high school diploma?

I hope you can find a path towards General Ed as quickly as possible.

I can't tell if you're autistic or not, obviously; I'm not around you on a daily basis for a long time. The people who make a definitive determination based on what's written on the Internet are doing people a disservice.

I can understand you being irritated by what you've experienced because of your autism. But there's no shame in bein autistic. Many autistic people have accomplished much in life---whether despite, or because of, their autism. And you must not let people insult you because you're autistic. You have to let people know that there's no shame in being autistic. And that you're a person first, way before you "are" any disorder.

You also have the right not to tell other people that you are diagnosed with autism.

Perhaps, you could ask you parents to have you reevaluated. When you turn 18, you can get reevaluated for yourself.

There is no "bouts of autism". You are or you aren't autistic. Without knowing more, it sounds like you are high functioning and being treated as lower functioning based on the autistic stereotype. You have probably adapted to the autistic mind and are ready to be challenged in your education. Autism doesn't change or define who you are. Don't worry too much about what others say. They think they're helping, but they don't understand you and what you're capable of. You should try talking to your parents and school to see if you can take regular classes. Show them how capable you are and your desire to succeed.

It is of the utmost importance, in my opinion, to be on track to receive the "regular," rather than the "IEP" diploma.