Being told 'I need to learn how to handle stress'

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So, as someone with AS, I am aware that I have my own weaknesses with stress. I feel like I spend every minute measuring it and every moment devoted to keeping it at a minimum. I take time to myself in the evenings when I'm not working and moments here and there during shifts. I play music when I can to stay calm.

I'm always trying to adapt and improve. But things seem to inevitably slip through the cracks and I can get commonly flustered by a change in a work schedule. I get stressed because I know I'm not working as fast as my coworkers in menial tasks like sweeping and cleaning spaces (I've been doing environmental education at camps, which often involves other work , like cabin cleaning). Worse, somewhere in my time, I inevitably have a melt down.

I know that it is a problem and it is one I am trying to work on. I constantly tell people that I am aware of it and I am trying to do something about it.

What's frustrating is when the people turn around and point out that I have these problems (which I informed them about day one) and act like they expect me to be able to fix them all of the sudden. Most don't even make any suggestions, just tell me something that I already know.

It makes me even more stressed because I feel like I'm being held to an impossible standard. The best comparison I can think of is a kid who tries to climb the rope in gym class but can't find the arm strength to pull themselves up no matter how much effort they give, even as everyone is telling them that they should be able to climb it.

But this time, the obstacle is one that everyone is expected to be able to overcome and those who don't just aren't trying hard enough. It hurts. It's frustrating. It's humiliating.

Still, I don't give up. I keep paying attention to where I am in comparison to my limit. I keep recharging my mental batteries whenever I can, I try to hold things in until I can get somewhere private when that's not enough and every day I have to hope I can make it through without messing up.

And then I mess up have to deal with both my own inner feelings eating me alive and others around me criticizing, reminding me that I failed to make the hurtle again. Whats so difficult? You need to find a way to manage our stress?

No duh! As if I don't know I shouldn't be doing this. Knowing I shouldn't get flustered by a simple schedule change or that meltdowns are damaging to my work environment and my reputation isn't enough to stop it though.

Its the emotional side that gets me. It wears at me slowly and I hate it.

Yes I am bad at coping with stress too

If you want read a book about stress management

Antidepressants

Counseling

But some people are naturally worse at stress management than others

Telemerr, serotonin, dopamine

I find it helps to listen to music. The same song on a loop.

I find it helps to work on my garden. I grow lots flowering shrubs.

MUSIC!

Everyone has been out of the house. It's just me, my old blind dog, a cup of coffee and the old wind-up Victrola.

I'm actually in a stress management group learning how to manage my stress.

How I cope and handle stress, regardless of intensity is currently... Inconsistent.

Either I'd easily to snap at any hint of stress while I struggle to control myself, remain firm and mostly in control for extended period of time, or something else entirely; I won't know until the deed is done.


My stressors fluctuates -- so does my anti-stressors.
What would work at the moment may not work in the next hour/day/week/place/situation/etc. Even within the same timespan/circumstances/etc. So do the source of stress in general.

How does one manage stress without an apparent pattern??
Or the one with serious micro-like sensitivity, that there's basically countless combinations of factors and outcomes, to the point of past experiences are null, in the same damn body.


Perhaps the best way I'd go is go 'meta' while 'winging it'.

To maintain the former, I had to be mindful and not drift off in some form of presumed autopilot nor tense myself into hypervigilance.
The latter is just a me thing -- no strategy plans or whatsoever because there's no consistent scenario in the first place, so I simply cannot give away advice on how I do it except pieces and bits of it.

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I have found that I handle change, etc. much better if I'm well rested. For a while, I was in a bad feedback loop of worrying about changes instead of sleeping enough to be able to think up creative responses. Relaxing is something you can't get to by trying harder. I eventually needed a reset, not just by a vacation, with the same problems waiting at the end, but by moving across country. I'd taken on too many obligations, and didn't know I was over my personal limits.

I've managing stress by being smarter and kinder to myself rather that just trying harder.

If I can't sleep, it helps if I do a relaxing activity instead. Like putting together a jigsaw puzzle.

I don't think drugs are effective if there is a mismatch between you and the world around you.
Instead, maybe you need to change the world around you.

I can not handle stress because I have Aspergers! OCD, anxiety and depression and adding more stress only makes my issues worse.