Why Do Service People Say "Thank You"?

Post Reply New Topic

This is frustrating, I had it happen with a secretary and a therapist I was interviewing on the phone
I thanked them for their service and they gave a "Thank you" back, like I was doing them a favor rather than they were doing for me, and it proves to be true - the therapist did not respond to the SMS I sent them afterwards

I get the impression that they're dismissing me and do not care for my needs, and just doing them a favor when I stop requesting what I need

I mean, I don't get it. Why is it such a problem to give me the help I need? I keep chasing multiple therapists for answers, for help, so I can live a much better life, so I can tend to the wounds I've been carrying for far too long, no professional is receptive enough to those wounds, and I'm becoming hopeless...
I wanted to give so much for this world. I've encountered some people who were rather demoralizing, and without help and support, I can't give to the world because I'm so injured. Gives the impression that no one cares about giving to the world

I just wanted to learn, to improve, to change for the better
While I have my own way, I also want to improve. I lack a community, I want to take part of it, to discuss the future ahead

How do I start? I really want to take care of the wounds but it seems no therapist is interested in doing so

Well....

Lets take a simple example.

You buy some stuff at the drug store. The sales clerk who rings you up at the register will end the transaction with "thank you". The phrase does double duty. Firstly:the clerk is thanking you on behalf of the store chain for your bringing them your business, but secondly it also signals that "this is the end of the transaction" (you got your change and your receipt etc) so you can go now. Were done.

The examples you are talking about are just more complicated versions of the same thing.

Last edited by naturalplastic on 28 May 2018, 8:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

How would you feel if the cashier DIDNT say “thank you”?

Pillar, if you view a "thank you" as hostile, no wonder you believe therapists are not interested in helping you.

Your perceptions are off. It's good that you asked this question, but take it from me, kraftiekortie, and naturalplastic, NOBODY is trying to insult you or show indifference when they say "thank you." They are just trying to be polite.

BeaArthur - Well, it proved to be true - those servicemen were truly helpful afterwards

I'm glad to hear that!

See job descriptions specify the employee has to say "thank you"

Further, it's a transactional showing of polite regard, etymologically tied to "think", "regard" or "good will" as in the old english thanc. It can be used to express gratitude to someone who's done you a favor, or it can be used as a polite way of concluding a social exchange. Sometimes repeating "thank you" back to someone is just a way of reciprocating the kind regard they first extended to you.

I'm trying to break the habit of saying "thank you" to cashiers when shopping and say "You're welcome" instead, because I just paid them, so they really *should* be thanking me. I had to have money to get what I needed, so thanks for nothing, I guess.

But then again I live in country well known for being polite and even saying sorry when you trip over someone's leg. After all, you could have hurt their leg.

It would only be "thanks for nothing" if you received nothing for your payment. They have something you want or need and you don't have to plant, cook, build, sew or smelt it from scratch, so it's appropriate to thank them for the convenience or say "you're welcome" as a response to their thanks. "You're welcome" amicably concludes a transaction, while returning a "thank you" conveys the notion that "we both benefited from this exchange".

Something I find helps me is to translate the social scenario into something that makes sense to me (in my head). In this instance the therapist might mean "thank you for trusting me with your struggles" or "thank you for keeping me in business" (tongue in cheek with the latter).

My psychologist always says "it's good to see you" which I find strange since she is paid to see me haha. But I just accept at face value that she's expressing positivity towards me. A lot of neurotypical communication centres around creating rapport rather than communicating specific content.

Using a service helps the company.
A polite thank you may be in reference to choosing them over some one else.

As a service provider I had to get used to “thanks for having me”.

What are they supposed to say? "Piss off now"?

Social niceties are superficial...but really necessary.

The current counselor does not say "thank you" after sessions

But I say "thank you"

Precious counselors have said "thank you"

But I could have chosen a different counselor

The counselor could refuse clients