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Does anybody feel like they are a neurotypical trapped in an aspie body? Any sense of self problems?

Can you tell me a little bit about the process of your diagnosis and why you decided to get evaluated?

I feel like I don't come across the way I want to come across and it's because of my aspergers. I'm now avoiding any opportunity to be in a social situation because of this. I hate having aspergers. It makes me miserable because I cannot be the person I want to be

I feel somewhat like a cave man transported to civilization, except that the tech is not baffling.

I feel as though I was transported from the 40s to the present time. It's very strange.

I always thought you were transported here from the 60s. You like 60s music and 60s TV shows.

not really. i feel like im constantly translating. im always translating words to pictures, figurative speech, facial expression, and then im always trying to translate my feelings into words and concepts i can understand. i feel like things are always happening in my head i can never put into words.

I feel like I have characteristics of AS, NT and ADD. One of ADD or ADHD traits is unrealistic dreams. That's me. I thought life would be perfect, I would be a popular girl, my teen years would consist of throwing constant parties, I would be the smartest student, and as I become an adult, a mansion on Socotra would be waiting for me right there.

My sense of self seperating from my 'bodily experiences' regardless of my 'mastery' or 'diffculties' is neither NT or ND. Not even 'female' or 'native'. All I know it's 'human' and that's what I concluded so far.
Uncommon in some ways from whatever I was born and grew up with, but still human nonetheless.


Honestly, I think I have a really screwed sense of self that is neither weak that is submissive/passive nor strong like assertive/agressive itself, but not very attached with whatever happened or actions did -- no matter the gaps between my could's and would's -- yet do acknowledge that it is and what it was done.

That I had little opinion or regard about myself, that whenever someone asks about me, all I could say is what I could mostly tell is what I did/think/felt, what I would, and what I could -- ASD related or not, mind-body gaps or not, language medium frustrations or not.

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The question is totally nonsensical even on a metaphoric fantasy level because both aspergers, and non-aspergers, are mental to begin with. So it cant be imagined that way since its a brain type vs a brain type. Not brain type vs a body type.

I can imagine being "one gender in another genders body", or "one aged person in another aged persons body", or even being "a cat in a human body". But neither aspies nor NTs have distinctive "bodies" to begin with.

If somebody can show me all these NTs fixing all their interpersonal problems and living in peace and harmony, I might start to feel like that. Meanwhile I just see the mainstream as a different culture to mine.

I don't know of any abnormal sense-of-self problems.