I'm wondering if I should be looking at ADHD, etc...

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I've had an almost obsession about Asperger's over the last 10 years, when in reality I'm diagnosed with bipolar disorder (unspecified, I don't have very severe depressions but I get strong mixed episodes/mania with psychosis when unmedicated/medicated wrong). As a child I was diagnosed as having an emotional impairment/ADHD. Do these symptoms really sound like Asperger's if I spell them out again? To use a metaphor am I barking up the wrong tree?

Meltdowns are my most devestating symptom. As a child up until I was a teenager they happened almost everyday. Now I get them occasionally, but as an adult I tend to get more violent by throwing things. As a kid I was punished a lot for meltdowns when in fact I couldn't help having them.

As a child I had such bad social skills they tried to force me to have friends. I went through lots of therapy. As an adult I still make mistakes.

I have strong interests in things to the point that I can stay engrossed in a topic like birds for years. Sometimes I go out of my way to endulge my obsessions.

I stim and rock a lot.

Unaspie like, I'm very emotional. In fact I have "labile" immature and rapidly changing emotions like a young child. I dont have trouble reading the emotions of others and I look people in the eyes. I'm very impulsive and make decisions too fast based on my strong emotions.

I have an IQ that tested out in the high 120's as a child. Verbal iq 20 points higher than performance. I found academics "easy" and I currently hold a bachelor's of science and I wanted to go beyond that.

If AS is the wrong direction what should I be looking at?

I cant really help you but i have a question about your post, why do people keep listing their IQ on this site? I dont understand why that matters or maybe im missing something, ASD doesnt automatically give anyone a high IQ, I dont think any mental disability or learning disability does. Is there a reason people do this other than to boast a bit?

I don't even know what my IQ is, but I don't think it's higher than average.

I was diagnosed with Asperger's in childhood but diagnosed with ADHD in my twenties. Sometimes I question my AS diagnosis because I've always been rather good at reading body language and all of that stuff. But as a teenager my social skills seemed to regress and I done strange things when I was 14 that I knew better not to do at age 9. I was too socially dim as a teenager to be non-Aspie. But fortunately my social skills improved again at around 17, and they have improved so much that I barely feel like an Aspie any more, not only socially, but also other symptoms too.

But my ADHD seems to be more obvious as I've gotten older. I have impulsive habits, I can't stop talking (mostly small talk), I find it hard to sit or stand still for long periods of time, I am messy and disorganised, I can be hyper in my behaviour, I have racing thoughts, I get too distracted by everything, I lack attention, and I feel like my mind is on "fast forward".

IQ is relevant because high IQ, particularly in women with ASD, makes it easier to see social patterns and camouflage.

Traditionally, mostly women with low IQ and/or significant behvioral problems were diagnosed. The OP is an adult, so she would belong to the group that had a low chance of getting a correct diagnosis, particularly if everything was attributed to ADHD. Also, for a while, it was not possible to have a diagnosis of both conditions; the assessor would have to choose only one.

The obsessive, long-lasting interests signal ASD to me. Also, the emotions that have no 'medium strength' are not uncommon on the spectrum.

OP: you say you read people's emotions, yet you were not at all able to make friends as a child. Are you sure your reading of emotions is that good? Do you read people's emotions in real time and react to them instinctively, or do you analyze them after the conversation is over?

Well I know when I was a kid some teachers thought I could have ADHD, but they never thought it quite seemed to fit. Like I think the stuff they saw as potential ADHD was more autistic stimming and some emotional outbursts when I got overwhelmed. From what i understand with adhd its like more of a lack of being stimulated by things and a shorter attention span...I know it is more complex than that, but its kind of the opposite of where when I was 'fidgeting' or whatever it was helping me focus not working as a distraction. Like when I read a book I do this thing where i fidget with the page I am not reading, like I kind of crinkle it so where some teachers maybe assumed it distracted me in reality it was probably aiding in my concentration. I'm not usually aware I am doing it unless someone points it out or I get distracted from reading and notice myself doing it but then if I become aware and try to stop I have a hard time concentrating on the text.

I put the iq stuff on there because I knew that it could affect diagnosis. I remember having a harder time reading people as a child.

As an adult as far as any testing I had a therapist who suspected autism spectrum give me the AQ and the RAADS scales for adults which both tested in the AS range but mild, but for some reason my actual psycharist disagreed with them. I've had a couple other docs come up with the theory I'm on the spectrum but can't be diagnosed because I'm not impaired enough. I've had a few total strangers say I highly remind them of Asperger's females they know, but my own relatives don't believe it, I have a female close relative with classic autism who is only partially verbal and me who talked at the correct age they don't believe there is a link of any kind.

Have you found being on WP helpful to you? If not, then perhaps ASD is not you. If you do find it helpful though I think it most likely that you are on the spectrum. I am still being surprised by how I seem to think along similar tracks to people here but still end up with vastly different opinions to them on things