I struggle meeting new people

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Whenever I have an opportunity to go on a date or join a club or go to a meetup group I always change my mind last minute and suddenly don't want to go. I don't really know why I do it though. Does anyone else do this? Could it possibly be an autism thing?

Yes, I tend to do that too and it is related to my autism. Many autistics have alexithymia and challenges in processing feelings. I have social impairment and can get overwhelmed during interactions with people but I can easily discount those feelings and fail to fully process them while I'm making plans for a social activity. And I'm suggestible, so when when an opportunity comes up to participate in a social activity my initial reaction often is "Well, I'm not sure, but I'll try it because opportunities don't come around that often." Then when I'm about to go to the activity I'm suddenly confronted by the magnitude of the feelings related to social impairment and anxiety and fear of getting overwhelmed and possibly feeling bad about myself for my social ineptness. And more feelings come to my awareness at that point that lead me to avoid the social interaction. At that point I cancel and often after the opportunity passes I get angry at myself for missing it. Does this pattern sound familiar - is it related to you passing up opportunities to date or socialize?

I've learned that it's easier for me to find a small number of social activities that happen regularly - like weekly - and then go and participate almost automatically. I still run into that last-minute resistance, but when going is a habit, I think about it less and don't agonize about the decision so much.

What happens when you do go? Did you have a good time or it's all uncomfortable?

I force myself to go out and usually end up being quite glad. If not anything, you get to have food and drink, right?

They can be overstimulating for some people. Maybe you anticipate discomfort.