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10 Mar 2018, 1:53 pm

Two of my more extroverted-seeming coworkers mentioned that they feel they fake being extroverted, and want to go home and recharge alone after being around people all day. They do a really good job of pretending to be outgoing, love being around people all the time, etc.

I've noticed people on this site who camouflage themselves sometimes saying that they feel like a fraud, and that it's negatively affected them to have to act this way over the course of their life. Why do you think it's different for these people, or do NTs feel the same way?



Balbituate
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10 Mar 2018, 2:26 pm

I think NTs feel the same way.



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10 Mar 2018, 2:48 pm

It's the US culture, pressing very strong for extrovertion, so people fake it to conform. Because showing more introverted traits seems socially unacceptable there.
At least this is my impression after reading lots of American psychological texts. They often mention lack of acceptance for being introverted but I rarely expirience it in Eastern Europe.


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10 Mar 2018, 10:28 pm

magz wrote:
It's the US culture, pressing very strong for extrovertion, so people fake it to conform. Because showing more introverted traits seems socially unacceptable there.
At least this is my impression after reading lots of American psychological texts. They often mention lack of acceptance for being introverted but I rarely expirience it in Eastern Europe.



Our US culture is definitely made for extroverts. Anyone introverted has to also fake it so I am sure they can relate to autism in a way about faking it to make it.


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11 Mar 2018, 8:49 pm

From what I gathered, NTs don't usually feel the same way.

I don't think they feel like a fraud or an outsider in a crowd, rather they feel obligated.
Expects the same thing with others, and assumes with the same expectations of others -- hence the hypocrisy some autistics accuse NTs with.
In some cases, they even feel honored -- but that's just as uncommon as feeling like a fraud.


I learnt their 'mask' is not like a division between their true self from fake self that caters the social norm.
More like an 'extension' or a 'regulation' from their preferences towards the norm (Making introverts lean to extroversion, and the other way around. And same thing applies with likes and dislikes). Also 'bridge' or a 'blend' between themselves towards the society at large.
That's probably why they don't have some sort of identity crisis between roles, that's also why they took the putting up with others as a sign of maturity.

Or at least from how I understand it.



But unlike autistics, that's what's mainly they have to deal with.
They don't usually deal with other things like sensory integration, voice and body language regulation, and don't have the same kind of uncertainty towards certain things. They don't view the world in a fundamentally different way.
They only mainly had to deal with their behavior and choices because the most of the rest are already filtered and regulated within the premises. If the latter two isn't, I think it's what people calls culture shock.


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11 Mar 2018, 9:17 pm

That's completely different. They at least GET the social norms. It's a completely different ballgame to flat out not know if you're going to say something weird and alienating to other people, or if/when other people are going to say something that completely catches you off guard that you can't make sense of.

It actually really bothers me when stuff like this is used to describe autism. This has nothing to do with autism. Nowhere in the diagnostic criteria does it say, "Needs to recharge after being around people all day." It says things about an inability to communicate effectively. Completely different.

I CAN'T "fake it" and "camouflage." That's why I'm diagnosed and in treatment. I wish I could blend in, and just sort of blindly understand and follow the rules. I really, REALLY wish I could. I can't.

For the people who like to relate things like this to autism, i.e. traits of social anxiety disorder, or shyness, or just social exhaustion, just know that for some of us who are maybe a bit more extreme, it's pretty insensitive. I wish it were this easy. It's not.