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Flymutt
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08 May 2018, 5:03 pm

I'm questioning my gender and sexual identity. It's becoming a really big problem. I'm not sure if my gender issues are due to Asperger or just actual gender dysphoria.



CockneyRebel
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08 May 2018, 6:40 pm

I also have Gender Dysphoria. It's a pretty intense case. I just blame it on the actual Gender Dysphoria and the idiots in my community who don't know how to mind their own business.


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08 May 2018, 6:52 pm

Flymutt wrote:
I'm questioning my gender and sexual identity. It's becoming a really big problem. I'm not sure if my gender issues are due to Asperger or just actual gender dysphoria.


I kinda did before I was diagnosed. I never was much like other girls at all. However autism explained my differences.

My advice?

Just be you. Don't expect yourself to be like anyone else or fit in any boxes, it won't come right away but just learn to like yourself as you are. My opinion there might be a tad controversial, but I stick by it.


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Zachwashere
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08 May 2018, 7:04 pm

Quote:
Just be you. Don't expect yourself to be like anyone else or fit in any boxes, it won't come right away but just learn to like yourself as you are. My opinion there might be a tad controversial, but I stick by it.


I couldn't agree more with this. I've never had any gender dysphoria, but I am gay, and take it from someone who tried to fight who they were, it's better to be yourself.


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larsbnf
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08 May 2018, 8:13 pm

It might be a mix of both. I think I'm the gender I was assigned at birth but I'm also confused about what "gender" even is. It seems like a social construct that isn't very useful to me, and that's probably because of our (autistic people's) tendency to not get social stuff. So I'm kind of gender non-conforming.
However dysphoria, feeling like you're the wrong gender or have the wrong body isn't something you can attribute to just aspergers. I suggest you be patient and your gender and sexual identity will reveal itself to you.



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09 May 2018, 1:18 am

You might find this page interesting and helpful:

http://network.autism.org.uk/knowledge/insight-opinion/interview-dr-wenn-lawson-autism-and-gender-dysphoria


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10 May 2018, 8:04 am

I don't get terribly dysphoric but since my mom often "gender whips" me, that can be a fairly negative experience. Last week she told me that I am too rough to be a woman and the last time I didn't clean something she basically said I was less of a woman because of this. I was like ... ok o-o



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10 May 2018, 10:00 am

This is a period of overpopulation, so we compensate by adjusting popular culture to discourage reproduction. Any slight tendency to divert from normal interests finds encouragement from others. In 1966, I heard of an attempt at heterosexual anal sex, and all agreed that the guy just hadn't known any better at age 18. Now, even 9 year olds know anatomy, and how to avoid pregnancy many ways.



jon85
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10 May 2018, 10:44 am

I am FTM transgender, fully completed transition.

If you wana chat you're more than welcome to message me :)


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Dataunit
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12 May 2018, 3:53 am

larsbnf wrote:
However dysphoria, feeling like you're the wrong gender or have the wrong body isn't something you can attribute to just aspergers.


This. If you have dysphoria about specific body parts (the fact that you have breasts/a penis or a lack of thereof), then that can't be attributed to Aspergers alone.

If you're unsure about your gender ID/sexuality then, even without body dysphoria, you could be genderqueer or gay/bisexual or both (being genderqueer isn't mutually exclusive with being gay/bi).

Just take your time and eventually you'll figure it out by yourself :)

Or, if you need more info, why not see if there's a local LGBT society in your area? Talking to other people face-to-face really helped me when I wasn't sure about my sexuality. In my experience, LGBT societies have many autism-friendly meetings without music and where there aren't too many people in the room.


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13 May 2018, 5:49 pm

I've had weird 6-month periods of gender dysphoria my whole life, that come and go. I think it's common with autism because autistic people usually are more androgynous I think. If you're autistic, you are also more likely to be transgender. I actually have no idea what gender is, probably because it's just a social construct, and I have heard of similar experiences by other people on the spectrum.


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15 May 2018, 9:03 pm

So I had to help my dad with the TV getting it upstairs and its a big plasma TV. He said that he couldn't do it without me and that having me is like having a son and a daughter at the same time :P I feel like being genderqueer just got affirmation right then and there XD



Goth Fairy
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17 May 2018, 1:04 am

green0star wrote:
So I had to help my dad with the TV getting it upstairs and its a big plasma TV. He said that he couldn't do it without me and that having me is like having a son and a daughter at the same time :P I feel like being genderqueer just got affirmation right then and there XD


I love this so much! That is a great sign of affirmation from your dad.
My partner is gender fluid, I think that there is a beautiful balance in being that way. I don't know how much my AS influences what I find attractive, but I think that it does help to free me from stereotypes.

For myself I have always been a bit of a tomboy (I love videogames and climbing trees) but even so I have always felt very much a girl. I don't fit the girl stereotype, I don't understand any of the "girl politics" that NTs talk about, but I am definately cis-female. Which makes me sure that there is something more to gender than the stereotypical roles.


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nick007
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29 May 2018, 3:36 am

I think autism can be a factor for being unsure of your gender or even feeling like your the wrong one because our autism symptoms can make it harder to conform to the gender we were born. Autism is thought by some to be an extreme male brain so this could explain why some autistic women feel more like men. Autism can also make us guys more sensitive & cause us to s#ck with sports & some other things that don't conform to the male stereotype.

I went through a period of questing my gender & maybe even having gender identity disorder. Some of that was cuz I never conformed to the male stereotype & was thought to be gay alot but I was never interested in guys. I felt like I was a lesbian trapped in a male's body. I also went through a phase of transvestic fetishism which also contributed to feeling like I was born the wrong gender. I think my OCD played a part too. I don't really think about this much nowadays thou & just sort of accept it but it sort of helps that I have a girlfriend who accepts me the way I am & I'm also on OCD medication.


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jon85
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29 May 2018, 5:03 am

What worries me, and slightly confuses me, is if I am autistic, then how do I tell if I really have GID... is GID even real if it can be identified as a symptom of autism?

Did i complete my transition for nothing? Are my true feelings about my gender invalid?


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nick007
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29 May 2018, 5:22 am

jon85 wrote:
What worries me, and slightly confuses me, is if I am autistic, then how do I tell if I really have GID... is GID even real if it can be identified as a symptom of autism?

Did i complete my transition for nothing? Are my true feelings about my gender invalid?
I think of GID as a comorbid of autism. Even if it is a common symptom of autism, you are still the way you are so you did NOT transition for nothing. Transitioning was a way of adopting to that symptom of autism better.


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