Do group homes let you leave?

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An HF autistic friend of mine may be going into an "assisted living facility"; mostly to get away from his abusive parents. But I don't know, I've always been under the assumption that "assisted living facility" is just a euphemism for a group home.

He says he doesn't want to get out of one "prison" (his abusive parent's home) just to go to another. He claims this place will let him have his own room and bring his rabbit with him. The own room thing I can believe, but do group homes let you bring pets? I wonder if the representative wasn't just lying to him in an attempt to gain his trust. I've had people say things to me in order to sweet talk me into staying there or just to shut me up, then once I agreed to it, I was told that wasn't even possible but it was too late for me to get out of it.

But then whenever I heard the words "group home", I panic. He's mostly going there to get away from his parents who abuse him. Maybe this is some kind of "shelter" for abused teens? He's 18 but still in the school system. He also said he would be allowed to finish high school.

I've also heard horror stories about group homes where once you get in, you're stuck there for life. I've also heard about a woman in one that wants to learn how to drive a car and get more hours at her job, but the group home won't let her.

My friend wants to go to college eventually, but he's worried that if he agrees to go into this place that he can forget about that. He wants to know if the group home will let him leave when he graduates high school.

Some group homes are good; some are bad. Since your friend is a teen, it's more likely a group home. It's not necessarily a thing to panic about. It just might be better than being with abusive parents.

Do you know the name of the organization which is sponsoring the group home?

Usually, an "assisted living facility" is for elderly people who have difficulty taking care of their needs.

How do you know the group home wouldn't let him leave?

In what sense do they "not let him leave?"

It depends on the state he lives in and whether or not he has been adjudicated incapacitated. If he is 18 years old, in my state, he is considered an adult with adult rights which includes choosing where you want to live. Any nonadjudicated adult can walk out of a group home or assisted living facility at any time. The problem arises when the person in question does not have the financial ability to leave the home.

Who is paying for the assisted living facility? Is it the state? Is it taken out of his social security? He is eligible now for SSI (not SSDI unless he has worked a lot). SSI must be applied for in person at a social security office. He should make sure the person who becomes the rep payee for benefits is someone he can trust. Or even one of the companies that will do it now. The group home or assisted living facility should NOT be the rep payee to minimize the amount of control they have over the person. Ie. if the facility has the money, they can control the person via the finances.

Assisted living facilities are typically thought of as facilities for the "elderly" but increasingly are also being used by people with mental illnesses and people with developmental disabilities. They aren't great places to live but could certainly be better than living with an abusive family and can be used as a stepping stone to more independence.

^Exactly. Has he heard the expression "Out of the frying pan, into the fire?"

If he is 18 or above, and is not in the criminal justice system, or is not involuntarily committed to a mental hospital, he is free to go as he pleases----though there might be "curfews" in his particular group home.

Could you tell us more about the home?

It means to go from bad to worse, sometimes to certain doom.

Will he be allowed to bring a phone with him? Because if its bad and they start abusing him he could contact someone for help? Maybe even the press?

There's a lot of fear and misinformation in this thread. Your friend could ask the important questions at the home itself - possibly in advance by phone. "Out of the frying pan into the fire" does apply, as it applies at almost any juncture in life. Just how "abusive" are the parents? Some people think they are being abused if the authority figure tells them "no" for virtually anything.

I agree with those posting who said the group home can't imprison you or prevent you from making adult decisions; however, when away from people who can advocate for you - such as in another state - there is perhaps more potential for abuse.

My parents became very aggressive towards me during my teen years I think this was due to them not accepting my Autism even though at that time I had no idea about it my mother being a teacher probably knew. I don't know if this sort of behaviour is common but it might be whats happening with this young lad. I think the way some parents are hostile to their children's sexuality then it only makes sense that other's may be hostile to their child's autism.