What to say to a remark like this?

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I was diagnosed with AS back in 2007 after struggling with an Eating Disorder. My mother at the time called her family because she needed somebody to talk to. She told me a few days ago that one of her cousins told her I was struggling because I "wasn't raised correctly" and that if we had gone to Church regularly when I was little I wouldn't have these issues. She basically made it sound like I and my family are being punished because we were not faithful to the Lord. I always knew people like this existed, but never did I think one of these people would be in my own family, let alone a person I felt very close to.

A few years ago I called her several times to see if I could fly out. I even contacted her daughters and asked them to have her call me. Guess what? Nobody answered and nobody called back. I would really like to see them, but I think they think I am a sinner and a monster and a bad influence on their children.

The thing I find funny is that I am Christian. I pray to God, I read the Bible, I am looking for a Church, and guess what? I'M STILL AUTISTIC!

This really goes to show how uninformed people are, in this day and age where information is readily available.

So what would you say if somebody told you you were Autistic because you are being punished?

I'd just look at them in disbelief.

The best quote I've ever heard to a situation like this went along the line of:

"People who want to look like good Christians go to church. I believe in God, and I follow God's ways to the best of my ability. I don't need to go to a building to worship someone I hold in my heart with everything I do."

This is why I didn't look very hard for a church after my fallout with the last one. I don't need church to read the bible, I don't need it to think about God, nor do I need it to try to live every day with good intentions. Also, God doesn't care if you believe in him or not, he accepts everyone, so maybe they should be questioning their own, and their church's views. God gave us free will, why would he punish someone for exercising it in such a way that you're not intentionally going around hurting others?

If it's an option, I just look at them with contempt and walk away.
If I can't walk away, it depends on my mood. If I'm feeling mean I could call them out on being an insensitive as*hole, and then sarcastically tell them "so because you're soooo pure, nothing bad will ever happen to you right? Wait, what was that part about "judge not, lest ye be judged?"
Or, more concisely "people like you are why no one likes Christians".
Of note, I am a Christian myself, and consider behavior like that to be exactly the opposite of Christianity but thats a rant for another day.

I think the most important thing is to stand up for who you are and what you believe. Who in their RIGHT mind would believe that God made you Autistic to punish you? That's like saying to your cat or dog, God made you an animal to punish you... it's silly.

Probably nothing. It's a funny comment and I don't care.

Autistics are not monsters, nor are we in league with Satan and his demons (as some believe) and nor are we trying to take over the world (well, most of us, anyway). Honestly, it's times like these when I think that Autism and the Church really do not mix, but hey, at least you know that this person who has said these things is not to be relied upon in future.

Were I you, I'd simply disown her and move on with my life, because she sounds like a die-hard "Christ 4 Life" type that is set in her ways and unlikely to see it from your point of view, and you need to find people who will support you as you may yet face many hardships in life. She's the monster, if you ask me, as Autistics are an awesome group of people with exceptional talents and faultless morality that may one day come to serve as an example to all humanity.

If she can't see that for herself, I pity her, because our numbers swell with the passing of every
day, and she'll soon be surrounded by us "monsters"!

You could try coming back with the quote "Going to Church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a cadillac."

They probably also think that computers and the internet are the work of the devil. Basically, you can't talk to people like that any more than you could convince Hitler the Jews weren't all bad. If you think it's not that kind of blind prejudice, you're wrong.

It's hard to be autistic from sinning as a child or not being raised right.

In the words of Lady Gaga - "Baby (you) were BORN THIS WAY!! !"

I suppose it would be useless telling your family members that you are no more being "punished" then if you diagnosed with left handedness and that it's neurological difference, NOT a deficit. Left handed people were considered 'sinister" for a long, long time (in fact 'sinistro' is the latin for "left").

I'm sorry that you are being ostracized by these family members. I too think that you might have to realize that these relatives are not supportive and you may have to build relationships new relationships with others. However, this is still a loss to you. You have lost a relationship that you used to enjoy. It would be natural to feel some grief, just like you would with any other loss.

As for what to say to them, try penning a brief note:

"I noticed that you have not been returning my calls since you learned of my diagnosis with Autism. I also feel hurt that you would think that this neurological difference, which I was conceived and born with, would be a punishment from some sort of non-existent shortcoming of either myself or my parents.

I would encourage you to learn more about Autism.

I would still like to have a positive relationship with you, however, I cannot be in a relationship with people who believe that my neurology, which I was born with, is somehow evil or a punishment for some sin or shortcoming on my part or that of my parents. It would be like being punished for being born left handed.

I hope that we can reconcile and that we can still be blessed by each others relationship. Please feel free to contact me when you are ready."

You could also share some reputable websites or enclose some reputable pamphlets or information with your note.

Other than this - I can't really think of any response that will rebuke the misinformation of your relatives, but also leave the door open to future contact should they realize the error in their thinking about autism.

Supposedly, God created humanity in His image. So maybe God himself is autistic. To answer your question, if the remark came from someone I know, I'd tell them they're misinformed. If a stranger told me that I'm autistic because I'm being punished, I'd laugh at him. If they said having autism means you're possesed by the devil, I'd have to try and refrain from punching their face. Sorry, but statements like "autism is the devil" piss me off so much.

Thanks for all your comments guys. Someday I plan on talking to her again to try and set things straight, but I guess I'm gonna have to wait and see what she does, because I have already tried. She has a younger daughter who is about 10 years old now and I miss her. When we went out to visit before my diagnosis she was OBSESSED with me. She wanted me to play dolls with her for hours (which was hard as I hated dolls and never understood the concept of pretending that pieces of cloth and plastic could talk). That was back when she was 4 and I haven't seen her since, but her mother still allows her to send me letters. While I really do want my Aunt to understand, the biggest reason I want to talk to her is because of her daughters. I want to see that little girl who came running when I went to visit. I want to see her all "grown up" or as grown up as a 10 year old can be. I know she still remembers me and talks about me because her sisters tell me so.

Unfortunately they live half-way across the country from my house.

I think I would say 'cool, anything else before you go f*ck yourself.' It would be more difficult if it was family I guess, but yeah I hate when people try to pull that stupid holier than thou crap.

To take a quote i would say "Listen to me! You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you, never wanted you, and in all probability, he HATES you.", but then again harder to say to a family member. I'm agreeing with Sweetleaf, on the thou are holier than me thing.