Coming to Terms and Getting Therapy

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Even though it will be 20 years this year since I found out that I am HF Autistic. I have finally come to terms and have finally accepted it and am not wanting to do something about it. For years I was ashamed of my diagnosis and resented it.

I am now going to get therapy to see if it helps they are looking at giving me Cognitive Behavial Therapy. What is it and does it actually work?

This is a CBT therapist describing CBT.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7B3n9jobus

CBT doesn't work for everything and may not fit your needs but you can try it.

From personal experience, if you can find a therapist who has a good understanding of autism, this can make a big difference to how effective it is. I have experienced both and, while the "generic" counselling was of some benefit, being counselled by someone who really understood how my autistic traits affect every-day interactions with the world was much more effective.

Whatever kind of counsellor you see, it will be much more effective if you take an active role by guiding the counsellor to the things which lead to the worst anxieties; a good counsellor will appreciate you doing this. Especially, if you feel that your autistic traits are making a particular technique difficult for you, or make it hard to understand their advice, make the counsellor aware of this, so that you can work together on solutions that work for you personally - there's no such thing as "one size fits all" when dealing psychological problems.

I had a phone consultation today and I told the practitioner on the phone about my Autism. She said she will do all that she can to help, she said if there isn’t any counsellors who specialised in Autism then I will be referred to another place where they do specialise with Autism.

Firstly I’d like to say at least they seem to want (or be able to) offer help in your area.
I’ve basically been told ‘your autistic now bugger off, we don’t serve your kind here’

If I want any help they explicitly told me I’d have to go private, so I have been looking into getting some sort of counselling myself. (Can share my findings if you like, but you’d have to pay...)

As for CBT, I have had it 3 times before (all before my diagnosis) and it didn’t help me one bit.

During my research into autism I have found several things claiming that CBT doesn’t work for autistic people, I believe mainly because CBT is supposed to train you out of negative thoughts (I’m so useless, ugly, etc) but the autistic brain hasn’t conditioned itself to think this way, it just does because of the way we are wired. We have negative thoughts because we pick up on our ‘inadequacies’ and can’t fathom why they happen - I would guess...

It’s worth a go though, it might work, and at least you are in the system for some kind of treatment so at least if that doesn’t work they might be able to provide alternatives

I got a call back from the therapists group yesterday. They were suppose to call me back Wednesday but decided to call back a day late. What I was told is I can get therapy with them and they have dealt with people on the Autistic Spectrum before now. I was also told if I wanted to see an ASD Specialist the option is still there but there is a waiting list which could take up to a year.

That raised a question in my mind How many Autistic people are there in Kent?

I’m biased to the “ACT” approach which, among other things includes meditation and mindfulness. It’s considered the “third wave”, I believe, of cognitive behavior therapy. It’s the only thing that’s jived with me and has been great.

I found that therapy didn't really help me much at all because doctors and therapists all worked with me on the basis that my issues were all caused by depression. Whilst it is true that I do suffer from mild depression I now know that most of my issues are caused by the way that I interact with the world and other people, so it is perhaps not surprising that the therapy didn't really help.

At the time it was really frustrating for me because the therapists didn't seem to be able to understand what my issues actually were. I was actually keeping busy indulging my interests, getting outside and doing lots of exercise, joining clubs related to my interests, and trying hard (and failing) to socialise with other people who shared my interests. This didn't really fit with the way that depression typically presents so was largely ignored whilst we spent a lot of time, and wasted a lot of my money, trawling around looking for repressed feelings and emotions that I just don't have.

I wouldn't have any more therapy unless I could find a therapist with extensive experience of dealing with autistic adults. Where I live such therapists are non existent. I hope you can find someone who works for you.

16944 according to my calculations.

Personally I think the most important consideration is that you find a therapist where you can both relate to each other. It's not that you have to like the person, but you need to have a connection. You might wait ages for the best qualified therapist and then find they are unprofessional, arrogant and unsympathetic. Unfortunately, with NHS services in can be hard to get them to understand you have a say in how you are treated. I hope you have better luck than I did, sorry to be so negative.