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rc2006
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Joined: 9 May 2018
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09 May 2018, 1:51 pm

Hello,

I have been with my current employer for a few months. I disclosed my Asperger's on my application form. My colleagues do not know about my Asperger's because I would like to keep it private, however, I think I am struggling when it comes to the social chit chat that seems to be commonplace within the workplace. I generally keep to myself and get on with the job at hand. I am not keen on engaging in social chit chat as I find it unnecessary and not part of the job. Social interaction causes anxiety and stress. I go to work to work not to win a popularity contest. The hardest part of working life is general chitchat when people talk about non-work related matters. This makes the workplace less professional as it starts to become personal. I have discussed this with a representative and he says that I should consider disclosing my Asperger's, however, I feel strongly against this for the aforementioned reason. I would like to know what your views are, please. It is interesting because I work in a special needs school and my colleagues know about autism, however, I would like to retain my job and not be rejected by my colleagues based on my impaired social skills.

The workplace is a social environment. Social interaction can be tiring and stressful for me. Work can be a place of unspoken rules and changing allegiances. Get it wrong and offend someone, then going to work can be a misery. For those that are socially impaired, they can either be targets for bullies or they may find themselves excluded because of their awkwardness or inability to make small talk. Distancing yourself from others can give you a reputation of being aloof or antisocial. I like my job, however, I am not sure disclosing my Asperger's is the way to go. Let me know what you think, please.



LaetiBlabla
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09 May 2018, 2:05 pm

You disclosed it on your application form! ...ah, ok if you applied in a special needs school. There are chances a lot of people already know about your Asperger, I'm afraid (NTs like gossips)

Social chit chat is necessary in all jobs (If you are not their friend, you are their enemy and enemies do harm).

If you disclose them your asperger, they will just understand that you are anti-social. NT reject most of the time people who are different. So it will not help you.

I like to be efficient too, so I force myself to be inefficient 10minutes a day to make small chats and it helps, i'm sure you can do it as well. :)



rc2006
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09 May 2018, 2:50 pm

I am sure one can be neither a friend nor an enemy. You don’t have to be one or the other. :roll:



billegge
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09 May 2018, 6:39 pm

I would not disclose it, I would only disclose to close friends. However even close friends may not want to believe that your "stress" is any different from their stress. If your not close to your coworkers then they might just see you as weird and treat you different when at times you don't need to be treated different.

In the workplace, I know I am different and people know I am different. When I close my office door, they seem to understand when I say the noise distracts me. When the company has a "party" of some sort, I try to avoid it or grab some food and run back to my desk so I do not have to stand there looking weird. In essence, I just have different methods of dealing with problems that seem to be working out well enough for the workplace.

In a sense, I am proud of being different and don't mind being seen as different. My real problem is internal and I do not expect coworkers to adapt for me. Its not their place, in my opinion. Its my problem to learn to cope.

That is my perspective. I hope this helps.



kraftiekortie
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09 May 2018, 6:40 pm

You don't have a contagious disease. You don't have to "disclose" to anybody.

I believe disclosure, in many cases, unless one is in an autism-friendly environment, does more harm than good.



LaetiBlabla
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09 May 2018, 8:01 pm

rc2006 wrote:
I am sure one can be neither a friend nor an enemy. You don’t have to be one or the other. :roll:


^ of course, but I was thinking here of work environment, where there is usually high competition. I could have however mentioned it is usually the case for some NTs and those bring other NTs who simply follow them and repeat their words, and if you have no friend, the group will be a harsh enemy

the good old bullying