A while ago I made a post on here basically asking if a diagnosis was worth pursuing for myself as an adult. I'm still waiting on an assessment but in that time I've been doing a lot of research on autism/Asperger's reading a lot of books and things.
Now I've come to a sort of dilemma. There's this boy I know, he's 6 almost 7. He's my mom's best friend's son and they live with us in our basement suite. I babysit him a lot and I love him to pieces but ever since I started learning more about Autism I've started noticing a lot of traits in him. His mom says he's very particular about textures, he's extremely intelligent he can teach himself anything and he's already doing math and reading at a middle school level. But when it comes to his speaking language skills I would say he talks more like a 3 or 4 year old. That's only a few things I've noticed that don't take too much explaining.
I sort of just tried to ignore it because I've realized if you squint hard enough at anyone you can find one or two autistic traits. Then his mom started talking to me about how he was in school. He kept having to be sent home early because he was throwing tantrums. His mom told me he was hitting kids and tipping desks, and that basically gave me flashbacks to when I was in school. One day he came home with a bloody face and when I asked him what happened he said a kid pushed him, and just a few days ago he got suspended for hitting a teacher.
I had the absolute most horrible experience in school growing up, even though everyone told me I was smart I ended up dropping out when I was 15.
I really don't want him to go through that but I have to ask, does knowing you're autistic while you're still young actually help? I had an assessment when I was 10 and the whole thing was complete garbage but I just accepted the outcome. Not because I didn't think I was autistic I really didn't think about that, just that I didn't WANT to be.
I knew how Autistic kids were treated by their peers, and I felt like if people thought/knew I was autistic nobody would ever listen to me again. They'd disregard everything I thought or felt because they'd assume I was just stupid or crazy.
I defended Autistic kids, but I was really the only one I knew who was like that up until I was maybe 16. I would yell at my friends for making Autistic jokes until they stopped making them around me but I knew I hadn't changed their mind about what Autism was. They still thought those things just knew not to say it around me.
I also don't really know how to bring this up to his mom without outing myself. I already told her that her son reminded me a lot of myself when I was his age, and how am I supposed to explain all these books I have on the subject?
I haven't been diagnosed so I'm really not comfortable with identifying as or calling myself Autistic, and even if I do get the diagnosis I'm not sure who I will tell because I still have that fear of people disregarding me or treating me differently.
So what do you think??? Would me suggesting he might be Autistic to his mom be good or bad for him? I'm just so afraid that if I don't do something it will ruin his life, but if I DO do something it will still ruin his life.
Right now it's like I really feel his pain, and all I want is what's best for him but I don't know what that is.
15 May 2018, 3:05 pm
