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LisaM1031
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01 Jun 2018, 10:47 am

I have recently come to the conclusion that I am most likely on the spectrum. After thinking about where this could have come from I’m thinking my Dad might be as well.

His father was an engineer as am I. My dad was in business for a while but hasn’t worked in 20+ years due to severe alcoholism. His sisters say that he was always a “loner” and his IQ is apparently 150. Apparently when he was in high school, his football coach suggested that he needed “psychiatric help” but my grandparents didn’t want to hear it. His upbringing was pretty messed up since his mother was an alcoholic and his engineer father was very stern and lacking affection. Hmmm...

He has a lot of excuses for his addiction and not working and has used the same set of speeches for decades when trying to convince relatives of his victimhood. He goes into repetitive monologues sometimes for an hour and I have to cut him off to get a word in edgewise. I’m not the only one he does this to and it has become somewhat of a running joke.

Does this sound like ASD? In my opinion, he shows some traits of covert narcissism as well.



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02 Jun 2018, 11:18 am

Given the other confounders, it can only be a "maybe". His rocky & apparently lonely upbringing could be what diminished his interest in others. The football coach's recommendation of "psychiatric help" is vague and certainly not AS specific. The monological speeches may or may not be relevant to AS.

That said, he actually reminds me of my own father in several ways. My father has an extremely high I.Q. (of which I inherited none), he worked below his potential (too proud to be lectured by professors of inferior intellect), he was abused by his mother (Munchhausen by proxy), very hermit-like despite somehow getting married twice and used alcohol to cope in younger years (which seems to have been traded for cynicism today).

My father is probably a "maybe" too, but the last time I was "face to face" with him I was 2 years old, and I forgot to take notes. :wink:



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02 Jun 2018, 12:15 pm

LisaM1031 wrote:
Could my father have Aspergers?
Short answer: I don't know.

Long answer: No member of this website is qualified to render a valid diagnosis of any Autism Spectrum Disorder, especially from subjective observations by a non-professional third party. Ignore any amateur diagnosis, especially any that include the word "definitely".


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SaveFerris
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02 Jun 2018, 12:20 pm

My amateur diagnosis is I definitely don't know the answer


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Fnord
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02 Jun 2018, 12:26 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
My amateur diagnosis is I definitely don't know the answer
I see what you did there! :P

Seriously, no one here knows the answer. The bet option is to get the 'suspect' to an appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health professional who specializes in Autism Spectrum Disorders.


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02 Jun 2018, 12:32 pm

It does run in families. If you have it, it increases the likelihood that your father does as well.

The characteristics you mention do sound like they could be related to ASD, but there are plenty of other possible causes out there as well.

So, I'd say there's certainly a much higher chance that he has ASD than a random person, but in the end, I'm still giving you just another "maybe".


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LisaM1031
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02 Jun 2018, 12:42 pm

I wasn’t looking for a definitive answer since I know no one here can give it. I just wanted some general opinions to get an idea of where my (suspected) AS came from since i’m Trying to figure it all out.



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02 Jun 2018, 12:46 pm

General opinion, you say? Okay, my general opinion is that if you want to know whether or not you father may have Asperger's Syndrome, asking a group of unqualified strangers on a social website is not the way to go. You're better off to get your father to an appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health professional who specializes in Autism Spectrum Disorders, and asking that person for a diagnosis.


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SaveFerris
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02 Jun 2018, 12:47 pm

Fnord wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
My amateur diagnosis is I definitely don't know the answer
I see what you did there! :P

Seriously, no one here knows the answer. The bet option is to get the 'suspect' to an appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health professional who specializes in Autism Spectrum Disorders.


OP as Fnord said ^ no one here will know. Why do you want to know anyway ? for your curiosity or your fathers ?
There appears to be very little help to anyone who gets diagnosed later in life but sometimes a professional diagnosis is all that is needed to put your life in perspective.

I just saw your answer before I posted this , ASD can run in the family but another thing I noticed after doing research about ASD and getting a diagnosis is I think I see autistic traits pretty much everywhere like a sort of ASD radar but I doubt I'm always right

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02 Jun 2018, 1:11 pm

LisaM1031 wrote:
I wasn’t looking for a definitive answer since I know no one here can give it. I just wanted some general opinions to get an idea of where my (suspected) AS came from since i’m Trying to figure it all out.

If you're looking for half way, general idea type stuff without actually seeing a psychologist, your father could try the AQ test here:
https://psychology-tools.com/autism-spectrum-quotient/

It's probably a bit better than having us try to tell you whether traits you list are likely caused by ASD. That said, the impression that I have from you is that he wouldn't likely be willing to do such a test. And even if he is, it's still not conclusive. The only way to know for sure is to talk to a psychologist.

One other thing: from the way you're talking, I'm not sure it would be good for your father to know he has ASD. If he does, it might provide an explanation for some of his difficulties, but there is very little support available for adults with ASD.

I'm a bit worried that he might take a diagnosis as confirmation that he can't do anything and end up resulting in him digging in even further to the negative habits you describe. For good to come from a diagnosis, he has to be willing to work on things.


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