My Asperger Syndrome

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One of the interesting problems, I have had, growing up with Asperger Syndrome, is that I have always said what I actually think, exactly like how I think it: word for word. I suppose, others, those without Asperger Syndrome, actually endeavor to sugar coat it. Or, at any rate, translate what they think into words and phrases that have the sound of being more polite than they really are. Having Asperger Syndrome, I am not too sure how this works.

I appreciate directness, saves me from having to decipher which of the myriad of possible meanings I should take away from an interaction. I hope it hasn't caused you any serious problems as people are used to sugar-coated platitudes.

My problem though is communicating what I'm feeling. It's like my brain and mouth aren't on speaking terms. It's a weird feeling to know what your thinking, without being able to express it.

You and I should talk sometime, well you talk I'll listen

I find the idea of The Hidden Curriculum delightfully esoteric, even occult. Sounds like something straight out of HP Lovecraft. Strange, I do well on IQ Tests, but not in Social Interaction. Still, I am not gifted. Though, I have read up on the problems that gifted people have in life and in school. Indeed, one would assume that if one had a high enough IQ, then it would follow that one would only get straight As, all throughout school, and, could go on to the IV Leagues, and upon graduation, have whatever type of job one wants. Still, it does not quite work out like that.

Sometimes, I think I should endeavor to practice being quiet for long periods of time. Used to be quite a chatterbox, when young. My big mouth got me into a whole lot of trouble, growing up. Still, there are advantages to being a quiet person. I have even seen some of them on Youtube. I hope you are well.

I did the same as a young child. I gradually learned to improve. Nowadays I'm able to sugarcoat, but I hate to do it. It's so annoying to me. It costs so much energy and it feels so false to me. Right know, I try to change it back a little. For exampe I say: "I'm sorry but ..."

Do you also perceive morality in terms of clear cut black and white?

I guess, but it's changing over time. If you mean, that I think other people are either good or bad, then hell yes I do.

Being gifted can be a curse, not a blessing. It greatly depends upon your environmental factors (urban vs suburban vs rural for example) growing up. Sometimes those factors alone can keep you from moving up the life ladder. I have first hand experience with that.

When I was tested in the third or fourth grade, I was classified as being in the highly/extremely gifted group. My reading comprehension ability was at a senior in high school level at that point in time. The school district really did not know what to do with me, as they had never had one quite like me before. They did there best to keep me constantly working on advanced materials and I had free reign over the high school library. If I would have grown up there, I would likely have a different life that the one that I have now. I might have went to an Ivy league school, instead of state universities. But alas, that was not the way it went...

Unfortunately, I moved out of state to a very backwoods, rural place. I tried to hide my skills from them as long as I could, I just wanted to be normal and fit in. Once they found out what my abilities were, I was relentlessly bullied (verbal, mental and physical) by both students and teachers. I survived five years there before moving to a better place (where I could tolerate the verbal taunts). However the damage had already been done. It took me many years to get my mind set back out of the revenge stage and to look forward to my future goals.

Hmmm! That is very interesting.

I have a habit of saying what's on my mind as well. It can occasionally be a hindrance in social situations.

If my math scores were only as high as my verbal ones, I would be very smart.