How did you discover you might have AS/ASD?

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If you discovered you might have AS or ASD as adults, what led to the discovery? Was it a specific event that made you study yourself, or just a coincidence?

In my own case, I probably don't have enough AS traits to be officially diagnosed, but after doing a little research, I can see enough of them to complicate my life and explain many things about me. I found out about AS due to a failed attempt at having a relationship, after which I started looking at my differences and trying to explain my behaviors. I have actually known one person with AS, but it did not occur to me we might see the world similarly, because our other characteristics were very different.

From what I have read, it seems like many people discover their AS after their kids or other relatives get diagnosed. I'd have expected this, or similar events, to trigger the discovery in most cases, but I asked a similar question on a local forum for people with AS and I got surprising responses (to me), so I'm curious what will I get here.

I had absolutely nothing to show for all the heart and years of effort I had put into my relationships with other people. I began with ASD because it had been suggested many years earlier in a very negative 'you're an Asperger that's why you don't have any feelings' way by someone close to me. It was apparently the reason I was selfish, didn't care about anyone else, didn't have proper feelings ect. ect.

I read an article written by a woman who had been diagnosed who was my age and it was instead of eye contact (which I wrongly thought I did like everyone else) it was about being constantly misunderstood, having to put huge amounts of effort into things that other people do automatically, needing vast amounts of time alone to recover, being judged as not deserving friend or family because of needing to spend time alone. I went to the doctors and asked for an assessment and was lucky enough to get a very young and inexperienced doctor who had enough doubt in themselves to not dismiss me (I seem normal).

I thought researching would be like cheating and I wanted to know the truth even if it was that I wasn't ASD because I was determined to find out what was different about me. A year latter I got my assessment and for the first time in my life someone understood me. I had been expecting her to think I was wasting her time but no I am an Aspie. My sister's cruel assessment of me fifteen years earlier was in fact accurate. Funnily enough it was my sister cutting me out of her life that was the main cause of my looking for an answer, because it was so devastating. I am no longer devastated by not having someone in my life with such negative attitude towards me

I knew I had problems socially, and that I put a lot of effort into it but still seemed to struggle so much. I didn't understand how I could get to my age and still be SO bad at all the social stuff. I've always had a sort of nagging sensation I was 'different' but I guess kind of assumed since everyone else had labelled me as 'quirky' and 'shy' that must be it. But sensation that there was something 'wrong' got harder to ignore; Aspergers had kind of crossed my mind the last few years but I think my thoughts were along the lines of 'well, I'm not a trainspotter type, so I can't have Aspergers', until I came across an article about Aspergers/autism in women who had been diagnosed as adults. It was like someone had read my mind, it was so uncannily like me. Took the AQ test...thought 'nonsense, can't be'. Went down a rabbit hole of reading stuff and the more I read, the more stuff I could see in myself, and the more a lot of stuff in my past suddenly made sense. Took the AQ test again and actually got higher (38; the first time I dismissed a few things I hadn't really thought about). I score well above the threshold for other similar tests. I'm approaching being pretty 100% sure I have Aspergers/ASD.

Having talked now to a few other people in my life, I realise it really hadn't gone unnoticed, just no one had put everything together. No one's seemed that surprised; my mum spent a bit of time trying to reassure me my weirdness was 'normal' but she didn't try and convince me I wasn't weird and then was very 'yeah, okay, where do you go from here?'. My friend agreed it seemed likely and described my social style very tellingly as saying my social awareness was not really normal, and 'you often don't interact and when you do it's in a tsunami of words with little awareness of your volume or the proximity of other people'...my mum agreed that was pretty much me. I'm starting to suspect I may be more socially inappropriate than I think but that actually makes me feel better; I'm on a waiting list for an assessment (no idea how long that'll take) and I was kind of worried maybe my own perceptions were skewed and I would come across as deceptively competent. Now I know other people think I suck too, I'm a bit less concerned I might do 'too well' and not get a diagnosis.

I was literally sitting at a computer one night and for some reason decided to look up the symptoms of Asperger's and was like "hey, that sounds like me" (not in those exact words, though).

The thought of it has floated in and out of my mind for a long time.

I think my mom is, and I think my two older children are. But we're all undiagnosed.

My brother tends to think that my behavior is more from parental neglect/abuse as a very young child, but I disagree. My parents may have been young and clueless (like most new parents, I'd say) but I don't see them as being that extreme - certainly not cruel or evil. They're good people.

But, I've always had a hard time connecting. I look at others. and I try to imitate their behavior, and although it seems similar to me, the effects are not at all the same.

It was an accumulative thing for me. A mix of idle research and suggestions by various people over the course of several years. Learning that I had ARFID and seeing that most of my confirmable issues were linked to autism turned my mind in that direction for the first time. Besides that, it's been a long-standing joke in my family that I have Aspergers, which prompted me to look into it from time to time out of curiosity. The evidence built up until it was enough to convince me that, at the very least, my problems were neurological and weren't going to go away. Up until that point, I'd believed all the doctors I saw as a kid who insisted that my problems were just childhood phases.

I was meditating in a park & met a homeless woman who had been diagnosed in adolescence. I visited her over the course of several days & began researching asd to understand. Pretty random.

I had been referred to mental healthcare services every few years for my whole adult life to be treated for the anxiety and depression resulting from "nervous breakdowns" (what I now know to be autistic burnouts.) Eventually, in my forties, I got lucky and saw a psychologist who bothered to look into why these bad periods happened so often and why medication and counselling had previously been so ineffective at treating them. She connected the dots between this and my communication style and asked me whether I had ever considered that I might be autistic and suggested that I be referred for an assessment.

Before that, I had no inkling at all that autism might explain my recurrent mental health problems and it had never been mentioned before by anyone. Coincidentally, I later discovered that two other people in my circle of friends were diagnosed at around the same time, and their experiences of discovering it were pretty much the same.

About 7 or 8 years ago certain things were starting to bother me. I was starting to wonder why I can’t seem to fit in ANYWHERE and why I can’t relate to at least 95% of people. I also always had a nagging feeling that there was something very “different” about me at a fundamental level. I was always labeled “shy” which bothered me because I always felt like there was more going on. People actually started to become disgusted with me as I got older like oh my God when are you going to finally move past your “shyness”. I then started to research it online. I don’t remember exactly what I typed but links to websites about Aspergers came up. I was somewhat familiar with it because I had watched a season of America’s Next top Model where one of the contestants was an Aspie. I said to myself “I don’t know if this is what’s really going on but i’ll Open the links anyway.” Well, I did and when I started reading up on it I was shocked at how accurately it described me. Things were even mentioned that I had no idea were even related, such as delayed motor development and hyper mobility, which affect me also.

When I first read about AS, i didn't think that it is my problem because I don't have some traits like talking too much about my interests, I never was aggressive... I thought I have social phobia or Avoidant personality disorder since my 17 or 18. Later I realized that I have problems talk with people too when I'm not afraid and I have problems with talking with all people including my family and I have problems with other people all my life. I am able don't avoid when I have strong motivation - when I have to do something, need something. Then I started to research about AS more. At my 30 i was on psychological examination and the psychologist told me I have probably AS. I want know it sure, I wait year and half for an assessment, if they will confirm it or no.

When I went to university I realised that I had real trouble making friends, I also realised over the years that followed that I was really bad at keeping friends also. I got fairly lonely and would beat myself up about why I didn't have many friends. I didn't feel like I needed a lot but I definitely felt that I needed more than the two I had, especially when one announced that they were moving away. I then made a really good friend. Someone I clicked with instantly and that friendship became a relationship but that broke down and a couple of weeks after it ended we had a really good and honest chat with each other about why it had failed. She said a lot about not understanding why I had acted in a certain way and I couldn't explain it, and I also realised that I had failed to pick up on a lot of signs that she was struggling. This was the pivotal moment in deciding that I needed to try and understand myself.

I looked through a whole range of mental health issues. I definitely had huge anxiety issues but that didn't seem to explain everything that I'd been feeling and I'd been feeling this things my whole life. Then I heard on the radio someone talking about a character they had written for a novel who was autistic. I suddenly realised that they were describing me. I started reading loads about autism and at first I dismissed it but I kept going back and reading a bit more. Things started falling into place and loads of things from the past started to make sense. Now I really feel like I understand myself and I've made huge progress with my anxiety.

The mother of an Aspie (who's Aspie husband killed himself) recognized the symptoms in me and suggested I look into it.. so, I did, and she was correct.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

I basically just stumbled onto the Wikipedia article one day.

It was the result of a medical referral that began out of sessions with a specialist about my depression (Dysthymia).

While it's nice to have a label for some things it has managed to pose other quandaries. For example, if I'm feeling this or doing that, is it a product of depression or Autism or my sleep apnea. I have no doubt the apnea exacerbates the other issues. Sadly I've never been able to get used to a CPAP. I appear to be rather sensitive to things touching my face. I wear glasses and sometimes they bother me but accepted them.

That paragraph seemed to go off in a few different directions in a short amount of words.

I'm a mess of many different, let's call them, features. But hey, it's what makes me adorably eccentric.

I looked in my mum's pea green strong box the summer that I was 14 going on 15. I thought I was the R-word and I was afraid to ask my mum about the papers that I found. I was told a week after my 15th birthday. I remember the days that followed me finding out that news when I found out that maybe I can't wear whatever I wanted to high school. I remember walking around the school in a daze because all I wanted to do was escape from that prison. I felt that those surroundings were limiting my imagination. I felt that my sister was stupid at the time to tell my mum that I walked around the school with my head down. I wasn't feeling sorry for myself and it wasn't my mum that I hated. Maybe I was feeling sorry for myself, but my autism had nothing to do with it. It was my horrible peers and their ideas of cool. I was happy to break out of that dungeon for summer holidays.

driving home one night about 5 years ago I caught the end of a radio talkshow discussing it and i nearly pulled over the car I was so shocked at hearing people describe me. It was a huge eye opening moment, looking back I think it was a fork in the road moment in my life.

3 years later I was sitting in a chair opposite a neuropsychologist who diagnosed me with Aspergers