Job Changes

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Has anyone else experienced severe anxiety from a potential job change? I'm currently in a job that I'm completely unhappy with, and applied for a position at my old company about a month ago. I was contacted yesterday about coming in for an interview, and they asked if I was available to come in some time this week. The short notice started the anxiety, but I was able to get the interview scheduled for next Friday. However, I spent most of yesterday in a near meltdown state, and completely lost it once I got home from work. I had no way to slow down thoughts and worries about the interview, going back to the old job, leaving the one I'm currently at and dealing with the stress of having to tell my current employer and being escorted out the door, etc. etc. I eventually sent an email this morning withdrawing from consideration and hoping that I hadn't completely burnt all bridges with my old employer. I couldn't stand the extreme anxiety for a week and a half leading up to the interview, then the stress of waiting on an offer, negotiating terms, and starting a new job. All I could see was 4-6 months of stress that I'm not sure I'm capable of dealing with.

How does the new job compare with the old job?

New job is certainly worse. My main reason for leaving the original job was they were pushing me further and further down a management path that I was extremely uncomfortable doing. The job I applied for was returning to an individual contributor role.

Yes, it’s what led to my second breakdown a few years ago & discovering asd. Now I’m unemployed & living in my parents’ basement, but I feel better.

You should, certainly, go back to you old job, then.

Especially if you already know the job. If you know the job, less stress, less transition, less hassle.

I understand your thought completely, and that's why I re-applied at my old company. But when the process of changing jobs became more 'real', I was completely unable to handle the stress, anxiety, worry, etc. and completely lost it. Probably the worst meltdown I've had since middle school. Ultimately, I've told my old company I will not be able to pursue the job further due to some personal issues, and fortunately I was quick enough to cancel as to not waste much of anyone's time going through an interview/hiring process and not burn any bridges with my old employer.

It's very frustrating to not be able to make this transition. I understand this is something that leads to stress for all people, but apparently my coping skills cannot deal with it at this time.

I’m sorry you had to do this, too.

What sort of support system do you have?

I've got a very supportive wife and family. Without them it's unlikely I would be able to hold down a job of this magnitude at all (design engineering). It's been a constant struggle with stress all through my education and my career to this point. Only within the last 6 months has it become apparent that I may have Asperger's/HFA, although my wife has very strongly suspected since her college classes 15 years ago (she has a psychology degree). My main hangup with a self-diagnosis is whether I have a 'clinically significant impairment', although at times like these I become more and more convinced that I do.......

You might benefit from learning to deal with the anxiety, to allow you to move forward in your life from a job you dislike to one you may like better.

You can learn some techniques for anxiety management in psychotherapy. Another approach is medication. Have you tried either of these approaches before?

I hope for the best for you you whichever choice you make.

At your "old job", do you think it's possible that you could talk to someone to tell them that you value being an individual contributor and feel committed to contributing to the team in that capacity but management isn't something you feel you'd be compatible with?

The best job related advice I think I ever gleaned was from a work seminar almost thirty years ago. The presenter said if you're ever unhappy in a job, try the following three things in ascending order:

1) Try changing your attitude about your job. A pro and con list or any other method to reassess and reevaluate. If that works....no need to go to level two. If that doesn't work (e.g. the nature of the work, work environment, etc isn't something that an attitude adjustment can resolve, then....

2) Try changing your job. Maybe bringing certain issues up to a manager would result in your job being changed or modified in a way that would solve the problem. If that works....no need to go to level three. If not....

3) Change jobs.

I feel your pain and can empathize since I'm going through a similar experience right now and I don't know what I'll decide to do in the near future. My current employment has benefits and some advantages, but after doing it for 17 years, I feel it's slowly draining every drop of lifeblood out of me. It's beyond changing my attitude and it's not looking like I can change my job. I'm fearing I'm advancing to level three.....

I really hope it works out for you.