Does Aspergers/Autism get worse with teen years?

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My son was diagnosed with Aspergers in the second grade, and seemed to be making improvements with his quirks and meltdowns through the years. We have all worked hard to make sure he gets the help and tools he needs. His mother and I have started getting concerned because this summer (as he turns 15) he seems to be retreating backwards with his Autism. Having trouble maintaining eye contact, expressing thoughts/concerns/things that are bothering him. He has gotten less talkative. We blame part of it on the lack of a daily summer schedule where every moment is timed out for him and on the fact his older brother (who he idolizes and is really the only person he would call his friend) has gone off to college so isn’t home as much.
But the other fear we have is his Autism worsening or is that possible. It has always been difficult to get much info out of him, but now it is like prying soneth8ng open with the jaws of life and he never seems happy. We worry. My wife really worries because teenage years are hard enough. Has anyone else had this? Any suggestions greatly appreciated.

It might not be that his autism is "worsening."

You cite other reasons why he might be getting "worse."

He misses his older brother---understandable.

He's coming into adolescence--like you said, it's a difficult time for anybody.

I might chalk this up to his impending adolescence, more than a "worsening" of his autism. "Not communicating" is a hallmark of adolescence, really.

We do place the cause on these things. I guess my question is as his body and hormones changes with adolescents, is there a chance his Autism changes for better or worse. Looking for advice on what to expect and tools to help him deal with it. I know no two are the same so just general thoughts.

I know my autism didn't "get worse" when I was an adolescent. In fact, it got better owing to a better awareness of my surroundings. I still had a long way to go, though.

I'm thinking that he will have trouble because things get more complex. Not necessarily because his autism really "worsens." More like he will experiences challenges because of his autism. Because of the greater complexity of social relationships. Because of his emerging sexuality.

You, as a parent, should provide an essential assist to him on all these issues, based upon your life experiences.

I can understand how a young adolescent can make one "tired." I might not handle it that great were I a parent.

Thank you. The “Tired” in my nickname has to do with the fact I’m a stay at home dad chasing after three kids 6 years apart and working from home. Never about being tired from him. I wouldn’t trade him for all the money in the world. He is an incredible person who I thank God is my son.

I'd say life gets harder, more complicated, and more demanding in the teen years, and this additional level of complexity and stress makes a vulnerable kid regress to earlier coping strategies. My son became combative and hyper-emotional in his teens and my daughter was suspended for the first and only time during middle school. And I found myself with very few friends in high school. (All 3, diagnosed)

The existence of higher levels of sex hormones makes it harder for any individual to understand who he or she is. At the same time, peers are expressing right or wrong ways to be for a boy or girl.

I would say, anything your child can be involved in that has a group element to it - the cast of a play, playing an instrument in band, Academic Decathlon or Math Meet, a sports team, church choir or social group, chess club, anything of that sort - will ensure that there are opportunities for further developing social skills and for having a sense of belonging. So I would encourage trying to get your son into such activities, and then being very supportive - attending games or concerts, scheduling rehearsals, providing rides or equipment, paying for computer camp or band camp, etc.

If your son wants to/can work, that's also an excellent experience in having a sense of achievement, plus some social connectedness.

On the other hand, if school just seems to be too hard on your son, home schooling or online schooling might be necessary. In most school districts, a teen can participate in extracurriculars while schooling at home. I absolutely refused to do home schooling for my teens because I didn't think I could handle that, but now I wonder if I missed a golden opportunity.

Also be alert to signs of co-morbid conditions such as anxiety and depression. Those things can be treated, and can be very destructive to functioning ability if not treated.

Good luck, and keep asking good questions!

Some do better at the teen years some do worse. I for one found many aspects of my ASD seem to get more severe.

Thank you. One thing we found great success in during middle school was changing his cooling down period (a time where he could just go somewhere quiet to get away from all the noise and other kids) to an aide work job in the school library. He loves to read and it didn’t take long for him to really come out of his shell there. The librarian loved him working there and he really enjoyed helping others find good books to read, organizing the books, etc. we are planning of having him do the same in high school this year. Once he turns 16, the public librarian has already said she would love for him to volunteer there.

When I was in junior high, I used to go to the "resource room" when I would get hyper in class. And this was back in the 1970s.

In my own experience, it seemed to get worse and then better. I remember there being a huge change socially in my peers between 6th and 7th grade. This is when social cliques started to form based on interests, looks, popularity, etc, and I was sort of left on the sidelines. Everyone else found a group to identity with and I’d be just sort of sitting there like “when did this happen?” I also had no clue how to act to fit in so I just withdrew, but even if I tried to be more outgoing it never ended well. Middle school was absolute hell. I found high school to be better. I think by then I had finally learned how to converse and relate to people better. Also, once I got passed the middle school age I found that people seemed to be more open minded in general and more tolerant of different types of people, but that is just my experience.

Yes I think it does get worse in the teen years and then better again. It's the hormones. Same happened to me. Back then I thought I was going crazy because I had gotten worse. Even my school counselor and psychologist didn't have an answer for me when I brought it up. I didn't know until I was 21 when I started hearing about it online from parents about their autistic kids getting worse and seeing others asking online about autism getting worse. Now I think this all makes sense now, the hormones come into factor too.

When you hit that age full of horror, humiliation, and emotional scars that will never heal more commonly known as adolescence, the entire planet puts more pressure than ever on you to be "n*rmal", to fit in, be concerned about what your "friends" think about you, and to act like an adult even though you're not one. So it only SEEMS like ASD gets worse at that age. But now that I'm a diagnosed adult my Aspergers has gotten better, not because my "symptoms" are less "severe", but because I'm no longer surrounded by the idiots whose hormones so very ravaged their puny brains. In fact I'm rarely surrounded by people at all now, and that's how it *should* be.

Yes, the teen years can be a less positive experience for somebody on the spectrum, not really because of autism/AS per se, but life gets more challenging for anybody, NT's too. I'm not denying that a disability or AS-like traits can worsen the challenges.

Yes, with me it escalated around that age. Worst was around 18+ and 23+ was also not a nice time for me. All times when you start developing and people on the spectrum have problems with that.

Hard times ahead and a world ahead of him that is very confusing. Hormones running wild, loneliness, wanting independence, all things that will cause confusion and problems.

Conflicts with NT's is also a major factor; not being able to make friends, miscommunications and so on.

Good luck! Especially for him.

The challenges for every kid, NT or AS, get worse. But the autism of AS kid does not get worse.

Generally bullying and teasing peaks during the Junior High years in boys and in High School years for girls. Aspies tend to take the brunt of this abuse by their peer group and it can affect them detrimentally. You might let your son know that after this phase the level of bullying and teasing drops significantly and becomes bearable.