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Marknis
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01 Jul 2018, 12:03 am

I used to be against the idea of having a "cure" for Aspergers. I believed there was nothing inherently wrong with Aspergers and that it wasn't my fault I was the way I was. But after suffering from a vicious cycle that has persisted for nearly 12 years now, I am now starting to wish there was a way to redo my brain. If I didn't have Aspergers, I would've been married or atleast have a long term girlfriend by now, I would be playing in a band, I would be drawing, and I would actually be happy instead of depressed. Aspergers has denied me those things and I will never have a good life unless a way to reboot my brain becomes possible.



joe_ls622
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01 Jul 2018, 6:48 am

Or until people learn how to treat those who are different like actual human beings and not like children or like mentally ret*d people, while expecting us to be "normal" at the same time.

There is nothing wrong with Asperger's/autism, there is everything wrong with how society treats people like us.

If we were given more opportunities, if people understood we're as human as they are, we wouldn't be so depressed.



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01 Jul 2018, 10:47 am

While I've always been "pro-cure" I have to disagree with your perception of ASD. It's too often used as a scapegoat, to our own detriment - maybe if I wasn't an Aspie I'd be graduating college this year instead of fielding questions like, " Will you ever be able to live a normal life?" from family members. It's futile to undulge in thoughts like that. The fact of the matter is that ASD isn't to blame. I am where I am because of the choices I made - ASD is only one influencer in my life. There are countless others, some just as significant. If I let myself think that I have no control over my fate - due to ASD or society or whatever - I'd go crazy. A person can't function with that mentality, and it's very rarely true. We all have options, even if some have fewer routes to their goals than others. Your depression is probably producing that awful sense of hopelessness, not ASD.


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thinkinginpictures
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01 Jul 2018, 1:51 pm

joe_ls622 wrote:
Or until people learn how to treat those who are different like actual human beings and not like children or like mentally ret*d people, while expecting us to be "normal" at the same time.

There is nothing wrong with Asperger's/autism, there is everything wrong with how society treats people like us.

If we were given more opportunities, if people understood we're as human as they are, we wouldn't be so depressed.


This is so true! Autism-researchers and pro-cures are the reason for our failure in society.

I wish autistics would revolt against anti-autistic societies and cut all contacts with family & relatives, friends and more who are anti-autistics!

To the OP:

My advice to you as a fellow aspie is to NOT GIVE UP YOUR ASPERGERS! It is who you are, and you deserve to be who you are. It is all those non-autistics who refuse to respect us, that are the cause of your misery! Not your Aspergers!

Of course, there are those non-autistics who do respect & accept us. These are good people!



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01 Jul 2018, 6:31 pm

Marknis wrote:
I used to be against the idea of having a "cure" for Aspergers. I believed there was nothing inherently wrong with Aspergers and that it wasn't my fault I was the way I was. But after suffering from a vicious cycle that has persisted for nearly 12 years now, I am now starting to wish there was a way to redo my brain. If I didn't have Aspergers, I would've been married or atleast have a long term girlfriend by now, I would be playing in a band, I would be drawing, and I would actually be happy instead of depressed. Aspergers has denied me those things and I will never have a good life unless a way to reboot my brain becomes possible.

I understand where your thoughts of hopelessness are, and it is not from your Asperger's. It is instead most likely from your depression. I've felt this way before as a fellow autist, and boy, it did not feel good! Could you explain more about what your "vicious cycle" is?


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Marknis
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01 Jul 2018, 7:36 pm

warrier120 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I used to be against the idea of having a "cure" for Aspergers. I believed there was nothing inherently wrong with Aspergers and that it wasn't my fault I was the way I was. But after suffering from a vicious cycle that has persisted for nearly 12 years now, I am now starting to wish there was a way to redo my brain. If I didn't have Aspergers, I would've been married or atleast have a long term girlfriend by now, I would be playing in a band, I would be drawing, and I would actually be happy instead of depressed. Aspergers has denied me those things and I will never have a good life unless a way to reboot my brain becomes possible.

I understand where your thoughts of hopelessness are, and it is not from your Asperger's. It is instead most likely from your depression. I've felt this way before as a fellow autist, and boy, it did not feel good! Could you explain more about what your "vicious cycle" is?


It started when I was 17. I was wondering why I didn't have a girlfriend, why girls my age weren't interested in me, I was beginning to lose my faith in God, my drawing ability was underwhelming, and I didn't have a band to play in nor was my guitar playing at the level I wished it was at (It still isn't). I feared I would never have a girlfriend and I still fear it because nothing I've done has changed that so the vicious cycle keeps me in a hopeless state. It's also made me feel like I can't ever draw better as well as get better at music.



warrier120
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01 Jul 2018, 8:03 pm

Marknis wrote:
warrier120 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I used to be against the idea of having a "cure" for Aspergers. I believed there was nothing inherently wrong with Aspergers and that it wasn't my fault I was the way I was. But after suffering from a vicious cycle that has persisted for nearly 12 years now, I am now starting to wish there was a way to redo my brain. If I didn't have Aspergers, I would've been married or atleast have a long term girlfriend by now, I would be playing in a band, I would be drawing, and I would actually be happy instead of depressed. Aspergers has denied me those things and I will never have a good life unless a way to reboot my brain becomes possible.

I understand where your thoughts of hopelessness are, and it is not from your Asperger's. It is instead most likely from your depression. I've felt this way before as a fellow autist, and boy, it did not feel good! Could you explain more about what your "vicious cycle" is?


It started when I was 17. I was wondering why I didn't have a girlfriend, why girls my age weren't interested in me, I was beginning to lose my faith in God, my drawing ability was underwhelming, and I didn't have a band to play in nor was my guitar playing at the level I wished it was at (It still isn't). I feared I would never have a girlfriend and I still fear it because nothing I've done has changed that so the vicious cycle keeps me in a hopeless state. It's also made me feel like I can't ever draw better as well as get better at music.

That is probably caused by depression.


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01 Jul 2018, 9:46 pm

"Be careful what you wish for."


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Marknis
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02 Jul 2018, 12:46 am

warrier120 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
warrier120 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I used to be against the idea of having a "cure" for Aspergers. I believed there was nothing inherently wrong with Aspergers and that it wasn't my fault I was the way I was. But after suffering from a vicious cycle that has persisted for nearly 12 years now, I am now starting to wish there was a way to redo my brain. If I didn't have Aspergers, I would've been married or atleast have a long term girlfriend by now, I would be playing in a band, I would be drawing, and I would actually be happy instead of depressed. Aspergers has denied me those things and I will never have a good life unless a way to reboot my brain becomes possible.

I understand where your thoughts of hopelessness are, and it is not from your Asperger's. It is instead most likely from your depression. I've felt this way before as a fellow autist, and boy, it did not feel good! Could you explain more about what your "vicious cycle" is?


It started when I was 17. I was wondering why I didn't have a girlfriend, why girls my age weren't interested in me, I was beginning to lose my faith in God, my drawing ability was underwhelming, and I didn't have a band to play in nor was my guitar playing at the level I wished it was at (It still isn't). I feared I would never have a girlfriend and I still fear it because nothing I've done has changed that so the vicious cycle keeps me in a hopeless state. It's also made me feel like I can't ever draw better as well as get better at music.

That is probably caused by depression.


I've suffered from it for nearly 12 years now. So many things reinforce it. I do not fit in with the culture I live in (Central Texas Bible Belt: Walmart, football, dangerous driving, county music playing in places it shouldn't be playing in, nasty beer, cigarette smoking, gun fanboys, hip-hop if you live in the ghettos, and churches nearly every street.) and my own abilities never seem good enough even when I try my best.



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02 Jul 2018, 5:57 am

If you don't like those activities I'd say you're more intelligent than the average Texan. People in their late teens and early 20s can do some really ridiculous things, and they'll look back and think "why the heck did I do that?"

If I were you I'd try to get help for depression first, then maybe try to associate more with older people? If you're too mature to take part in risky behaviour it might help you win their favour.


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02 Jul 2018, 6:07 am

I agree with you, I’d take a cure any day.

I have no special talents, just social ineptness and people who don’t get me. I’d like to fit in somewhere on the planet.

Don’t feel bad about admitting you’d take a cure. Sometimes life pushes us to our limits.

But as there is no cure we have to take some responsibility and try to own it.



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02 Jul 2018, 8:59 am

From my perception:

If you are an adult Aspie then learn to manage fear. The more fearless you become, the more you will shed many of your negative traits. These negative traits include: hypersensitivity to senses (sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch), sensory overload and shutdowns, gastrointestinal problems related to prolonged stress, mental health problems/psychological disorders (depression, self harm, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder), and muscle or vocal ticks.

The first fear to squash is one’s mortality and coming to gripes with your eventual death. The second fear to squash is banishment from your tribe and being left all alone in the world. The third fear to squash is brutal physical and psychological abuse at the hands of your peer group.

Don't accept being categorized as the Omega Male of the animal world. Resist.

Some types of therapy are very beneficial according to others. Therapy targeting fear and stress such as programs that treat PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) help. These include somatic experiencing, beam life coaching, Tipi emotional regulation therapy, and exposure therapy.


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thinkinginpictures
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02 Jul 2018, 9:30 am

hale_bopp wrote:
I agree with you, I’d take a cure any day.

I have no special talents, just social ineptness and people who don’t get me. I’d like to fit in somewhere on the planet.

Don’t feel bad about admitting you’d take a cure. Sometimes life pushes us to our limits.

But as there is no cure we have to take some responsibility and try to own it.


Why would you want a cure, instead of an accepting and respectful society, that is accepting and respecting autistics?

Why don't you blame society for being disrespectful to people like you or other autistics?

We need a more autism-friendly Earth.



Marknis
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02 Jul 2018, 10:52 am

Glflegolas wrote:
If you don't like those activities I'd say you're more intelligent than the average Texan. People in their late teens and early 20s can do some really ridiculous things, and they'll look back and think "why the heck did I do that?"

If I were you I'd try to get help for depression first, then maybe try to associate more with older people? If you're too mature to take part in risky behaviour it might help you win their favour.


Unfortunately, the majority of the older people in my area love the same things as the younger people do to various degrees. Some of the older men still go after younger women and threaten the younger men away from them.



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02 Jul 2018, 10:58 am

Don't blame autism for things it's not responsible for; depression, and a society filled with jerks


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Marknis
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02 Jul 2018, 8:54 pm

Arganger wrote:
Don't blame autism for things it's not responsible for; depression, and a society filled with jerks


I hate how it hasn't helped me with special interests like it seems to do with so many on the spectrum.