I am starting to wish for a cure

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I used to be against the idea of having a "cure" for Aspergers. I believed there was nothing inherently wrong with Aspergers and that it wasn't my fault I was the way I was. But after suffering from a vicious cycle that has persisted for nearly 12 years now, I am now starting to wish there was a way to redo my brain. If I didn't have Aspergers, I would've been married or atleast have a long term girlfriend by now, I would be playing in a band, I would be drawing, and I would actually be happy instead of depressed. Aspergers has denied me those things and I will never have a good life unless a way to reboot my brain becomes possible.

Or until people learn how to treat those who are different like actual human beings and not like children or like mentally ret*d people, while expecting us to be "normal" at the same time.

There is nothing wrong with Asperger's/autism, there is everything wrong with how society treats people like us.

If we were given more opportunities, if people understood we're as human as they are, we wouldn't be so depressed.

While I've always been "pro-cure" I have to disagree with your perception of ASD. It's too often used as a scapegoat, to our own detriment - maybe if I wasn't an Aspie I'd be graduating college this year instead of fielding questions like, " Will you ever be able to live a normal life?" from family members. It's futile to undulge in thoughts like that. The fact of the matter is that ASD isn't to blame. I am where I am because of the choices I made - ASD is only one influencer in my life. There are countless others, some just as significant. If I let myself think that I have no control over my fate - due to ASD or society or whatever - I'd go crazy. A person can't function with that mentality, and it's very rarely true. We all have options, even if some have fewer routes to their goals than others. Your depression is probably producing that awful sense of hopelessness, not ASD.

"Be careful what you wish for."

If you don't like those activities I'd say you're more intelligent than the average Texan. People in their late teens and early 20s can do some really ridiculous things, and they'll look back and think "why the heck did I do that?"

If I were you I'd try to get help for depression first, then maybe try to associate more with older people? If you're too mature to take part in risky behaviour it might help you win their favour.

I agree with you, I’d take a cure any day.

I have no special talents, just social ineptness and people who don’t get me. I’d like to fit in somewhere on the planet.

Don’t feel bad about admitting you’d take a cure. Sometimes life pushes us to our limits.

But as there is no cure we have to take some responsibility and try to own it.

From my perception:

If you are an adult Aspie then learn to manage fear. The more fearless you become, the more you will shed many of your negative traits. These negative traits include: hypersensitivity to senses (sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch), sensory overload and shutdowns, gastrointestinal problems related to prolonged stress, mental health problems/psychological disorders (depression, self harm, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder), and muscle or vocal ticks.

The first fear to squash is one’s mortality and coming to gripes with your eventual death. The second fear to squash is banishment from your tribe and being left all alone in the world. The third fear to squash is brutal physical and psychological abuse at the hands of your peer group.

Don't accept being categorized as the Omega Male of the animal world. Resist.

Some types of therapy are very beneficial according to others. Therapy targeting fear and stress such as programs that treat PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) help. These include somatic experiencing, beam life coaching, Tipi emotional regulation therapy, and exposure therapy.

Don't blame autism for things it's not responsible for; depression, and a society filled with jerks