wanting to be autistic

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I am self-diagnosed. Autism is better than schizophrenia. The word - "schizophrenia"...it seems so negative and degenerative. I don't want that. Besides, my symptoms (if you really want to call them that. let me say, traits) started before ever hearing voices or seeing real spirits (which I interpreted as spiritual warfare and a test in my Christian faith). My mom thinks its schizophrenia. When I was 13-18, I would "melt down" in grocery stores - i.e. start screaming and stuff, I don't fully remember, and my mom would tell me to stop and call them "fitsos."

I asked my dad if I'm autistic (not God, my biological dad). He said maybe, said I didn't have much eye contact as a toddler/kid. But I can speak, sometimes I even talk too much, but sometimes I jump into other peoples' conversations at the wrong time or be very narrow (like insisting on a hobby being the most important thing). My mom told me I am strong and stubborn and that I am using that strength for the wrong things. I.e. what you call special interests, I have gymnastics and newly, baking.

Sensory issues. I've felt like my temperature was below ten degrees farenheight. I thought it was because of elvish heartbreak. Then maybe things are too loud, and when I'm touched I immediately suspect wrong intent and become uncomfortable.

Also I don't have friends. Besides I like solitude, making music by myself and writing novels by myself and taking free online classes by myself.

When I think I am autistic it makes me happy. I feel like it is a gift. I feel like it explains all the problems I've had, and other things that made me stand out as different but were actually good things.

Is it wrong to want to be autistic? If I found out I actually wasn't autistic, I probably would be devastated because the past years it has become an integral part of my identity. What do you think?

Well, what you describe seems quite autistic indeed... except for hearing voices and seeing spirits. Those are definitely psychotic symptoms. But they may come simply from too much stress and discomfort (you may not even realise the amount of your discomfort as your life has always been like that...), not some degenerative problems.

Do you have good contact with your father (the biological one, if you are so particular about it ) He seems to understand you a bit better than your mother, at least about your traits, so maybe he is the one to talk about it?

I know it, when you finally find the explanation that fits all the parts, unlike all the misdiagnoses you previously had... it's perfectly OK to want it.

Let me get this straight ... you want to be autistic instead of schizophrenic, so you diagnose yourself as autistic. In addition, you seek your parents' opinions as confirmation of your subjective self-diagnosis.

Sorry, kid; it just doesn't work that way. You can't just say "I'm autistic" and instantly cure your schizophrenia; which, by the way, could very well be responsible for all of the other 'symptoms' you mentioned. Schizophrenia isn't cured by merely calling it something else.

Get a real diagnosis from an appropriately-trained and licensed medical professional.

I'm not schizophrenic. Other people thought that I am, but I'm not.

Other person: I can't just talk to my dad about it. He abused my mom severely and I don't really trust him.

Anyways. I just dont care what you think, just want to vent and see what people think. Because its anonomys, and I dont want to make people feel uncomfortable if they have it worse than me or anything.

I believe the "voices" were real demons and therefore I have never been "psychotic."

You should seek the "right" diagnosis, so there's a chance you will receive the "right" treatment for it.

Being schizophrenic (or autistic) is not a moral failing. No one should fail ashamed to have either.

One should seek treatment for either, and seek to improve their functioning with either.

I dont want treatment. God doesn't make mistakes. I don't want to be told not to be who I am.

I sent you a pm.

True that God doesn't make mistakes. But some things are part of a fallen world and ought to be treated. Like gangrene (one-time fix) or diabetes (continual care). So some mental disorders can be like that: get some form of treatment to help stay functional while in this world.
Then some things are peculiarities that make life harder but don't need treatment. It's part of who you are and can be used as a blessing to others.

Yes it is, not because autism is bad but because

1. How you are born has nothing to do with how good you are it is what you do with what you were born with/God gave you that determines how good a person you are

2. Wrong diagnosis because you wished it were true could very well mean wrong decisions based on a false view of yourself.

3. It is offending to those Autistic people who mightly struggle with elements of their autistm.

If Autism is so trendy why is "Autistic" replacing "ret*d" as the go to insult?

Subjective belief proves nothing. According to mental-health professionals at the Mayo Clinic, schizophrenia is a serious mental disorder in which people interpret reality abnormally. Schizophrenia may result in some combination of hallucinations, delusions, and extremely disordered thinking and behavior that impairs daily functioning. Schizophrenia is a psychotic disorder. "Hearing Voices" is the most common type of hallucination in people with psychotic disorders such as schizophrenia.

So please forgive me for disbelieving you; I am inclined to place more credibility in objective facts than subjective opinions.

Sorry but I must back off with my previous opinion. While I've had an expirience of my autism being mistaken for schizophrenia by a specialist which made me sympathetic to you and I'm still open to the idea that you may be both autistic and schizophrenic, you just confirm you are psychotic.
I won't go into theology of it, lots of smarter people before me have been wondering why perfect God allowed such an imperfect world. The point is, He did. We all have our challenges.
Find a treatment.

Cant you even have an open mind of ppl being born different and its not an illness? God turned me into an archangel,and perhaps Im a faerie or an elf? The Bible says there are demons. Theyattacke me. Its not psychosis, no matter what people think.

I believe Im autistic. This forum was a safe place I went to to bounce off my ideas and problems and gifts. I don't mean to insult anyone who is on a different part of the spectrum than me.

First you want "open minds", and then you want to fill them with myths. I'll keep my mind closed, thank you very much!So it does. It also says, "Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves." (Matthew 7:15)So you say.If it's not psychosis, then it's fantasy.What do the professionals believe?Then demonstrate your gifts ... what exactly are they, by the way?Then don't.

I wasn't insulting anybody. People I've met in person suggested to me I might be autistic. I see it in myself. How is me being autistic insulting to other people with autism? If you don't see autism as a gift, fine, that's your view of it.

My mind is closed to evil but open to the "With God all things are possible". What are these things?

I believe I am gifted in mathematics and writing prose-poetry and learning about psychology. I am a fast runner (that's not autism but a part of me), almost superspeed. I love chasing cars (on the sidewalk or try to run as fast as a car on nature trails). I have gymnastics, which is really my favorite gift.

Also I have heightened senses, at first hearing more seems like a curse (everything too loud or too cold), but looking closer its heightened senses, gifts. Being able to focus on the sounds help me deal with my sensory issues and even turn them into gifts, like following someones voice from far away and finding that person. I find that meditation helps me when I struggle, I don't need society's "help", thank you very much. I find that I can tune into one thing (like, for instance, baking) for a long time and focus, and thus learn a lot about that "special interest." Mine are gymnastics and baking.

OK, you really need to see someone professional quickly. You may have autism, but clearly also Psychotic symptoms from an unrelated illness. You do not have to hear voices and see things that are not there. Medication is available.

Who said you were?Were these people appropriately trained and licensed to diagnose mental-health issues, or were they just ordinary people -- strangers, perhaps?Subjective opinions are suspect, and easily disregarded.It isn't. Pretending to be autistic to avoid the burden of having to deal with real issues is an insult, but only to your own health and well-being.With GOD, all things are possible; among people afflicted with schizophrenia, all things only seem possible.All very nice, I'm sure; but hardly proof of any 'divine' gifting.Lots of ordinary people have heightened senses. Still no proof.Really, these are all very ordinary -- nothing to show that you are angel, elf, or Divinely-anointed prophet. Nothing.

I used to run marathons myself----not too slow, but not too fast.

How fast can you run a mile, Rebecca? I could do about 6 minutes 30 seconds at my best.

Or how fast can you run the 100 meters? I think I was able to do about 13 seconds when I was younger.