How can an NT help a friend having an autistic burnout

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Hi, I have been reading about “autistic burnout” as a good friend of mine is most likely having one after 4 years of suppressing his traits while trying to keep a very stressful job. Aside from being understanding, is there any way I can help without being too much?

Being understanding goes a long ways. Most of the people who have helped me throughout life have been "NT". I like being taken on easygoing activities when I'm burnt out to unwind. A walk, a movie, a day at the zoo, eating somewhere nice as in laid back. Stuff like that. It helps me personally to let someone else do the decision making and just go along for the ride.

Maybe instead of going out to eat, you could bring him food?

I had a burn out a few years ago and was off work for many weeks over a 6 month period. There were simply too many demands on my time - at work, family at home and my own hobbies/commitments.

What I am trying to say is being asked out on numerous occasions could be being perceived as another thing that needs juggling along with everything else.

Going out doesn't mean that it has to be social though. My ideal "going out" is to get somewhere AWAY from crowds.

NT tend not help AS/ASD people when they have a Autistic Burnout.From my experience,NT people actually make it worse.

Thank you, everyone! Really appreciate your input.

Understanding comes first. I could attest that.
Knowing what relaxing is to the autistic person comes after that. Just ask.



In my case, I'm best to be left alone. By taking huge breaks from anything. Interactions kept minimum, and always go solo.
Otherwise, I'd not only lash out of control, sensing physical presence and taking account of the person itself gets overwhelming. So yes, people itself makes burnouts worse.
Moving and sensing the air as I move is painful too, in my case whenever I burnout.

I'm not recluse. I may choose to go out even if it quickly tires me. Because of course, I get bored too. More like I'm reclusive because it hurts and exhausting, and I couldn't take so much stimuli.
Going solo because taking account of the company who is either putting up with me or having to keep up to, is even worse than dealing with the chaos alone. Because I'm not the kind who seeks an 'anchor' and stay there -- I'm the kind who would rather roam free out of restraint and tension of taking account of too many things.

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When I went through a massive burnout three years ago, I needed solitude and I needed to remove as much sensory stimuli as possible. It was not possible for me to talk to people or to have them around. The only exception was my brother because we have a very close bond and he is able to be with me without being threatening or without overloading my sensory receptors. I liked knowing that he was close but he was not in my face or causing me to have to interpret any unnecessary sensory information like his facial expressions. When he spoke to me it was very quietly and calmly and slowly and directly so that I could clearly understand what he was saying and I did not have to spend energy interpreting or trying to understand his words. He spoke in short clear direct sentences and only when he had to. And he had the cat meow to me on the phone which I loved. He made sure everything he did was also slow and calm and quiet so that it would not take any energy from me. I really appreciated that because I knew I was not alone but at the same time I was not getting overwhelmed by him.

Do not be offended if you bring some food and your friend can't eat it. When I had my big burnout, there were moments when I literally could not remember how to eat or how to go to the bathroom. There are also times when I don't have enough energy to manage to eat and I just have to wait until I can again. It may take time for some skills to come back if s/he has lost skills. Even the most basic skills can deteriorate or be lost during a major burnout. Sometimes you don't get them back as well as you used to have them and rarely but sometimes you might not get them back at all. But depending on how bad the burnout is, the inability to function in even the most basic ways can become pretty compromised. In order to have a chance to recover it takes lots of time and quiet and sensory destimulation. So you may have to be very patient if your friend is as bad as I was. It took me a few weeks to be able to function at a good level again. I don't think I ever fully completely 100% recovered though. I don't know if I am able to have a full and complete 100% recovery.

I have only experienced autistic burnout in my child so this might not be helpful. She has had two - one at 5 and one at 8. Then she got diagnosed and has not had anything like that since.

For her she literally needed to be in a safe cocoon where she didn't need to make any choices or feel any pressure. She couldn't dress for example as it was too overwhelming to choose clothes and she couldn't accept help. I covered the floor from corner to corner in kraft paper, put the heat up, and let her sit and doodle. Gradually by removing all expectations she started coming out of it. Though drawing various imaginary friends and their clothing she found it easier to contemplate clothing again and after a few days she entertained the idea of "dressing up" and could again wear clothes. It took 2.5 weeks at 5 and at 8 it took about 2 months to fully come out of it. Sure that is not helpful to your situations but perhaps taking pressure and expectations away is.

In your situation I would cook simple nourishing meals in portions and bring them over without expecting to stay. I would try to not ask questions and keep interactions simple and uplifting. Sending a nice picture, a short message that doesn't require a response or put pressure on. Does your friend have any particular interest or hobbies that they might find uplifting?