Seriously, like they try to tell me something, except they don't say what they mean in any clear way.
Like they are talking around some mumbo-jumbo, and look at me in a way like they are screaming: "WHY THE F DON'T YOU GET IT?" And almost always, they act like I don't WANT to get it, or don't like what they are saying and am being non-compliant (in case of doctors). The truth is, I just don't have the slightest clue what they are trying to tell me
how am I supposed to get it when the message is encrypted multiple times? I may manage to encrypt the first layer. But fail at level 2 or 3. And that leaves me just with this: "this person is possibly talking about my (lack of) employment or generally about jobs and such." But what he actually means remain a complete mystery to me.
And when I say something very simple, they get it all wrong and interpret some havoc in it. And quite unfortunately, I don't have enough autism to be ignorant about the sudden change in mood and atmosphere, yet I'm not NT enough to figure out what about what I said is so bad or what actually is they're interpretation. All I notice is people being galactically p***ed or disappointed, without me having meant anything of any great significance.
Like I was talking to someone and I realized I have forgotten to take my meds. Then I forgot about it briefly and said:
me:" I just remembered that I need to do something important, hm... what was it? ehm... yeah! I need to take my medication and i'm already 2 hours late"
So, being ever so slightly socially smart, and not comnpletely lacking intuition, I could clearly observe how that put the other person in total disappointment. I am kind of sure she "actually" heard this: "I don't want to talk to you anymore, I brought up that I'm late taking my meds to silence you and get out of the conversation and go" or maybe even "please STFU."
Or someone was cooking, and the meat was literally in the oven for 3 hours. So I said:
Me: "That meat is in the oven since a very long hours, don't you think it might be done?"
Reaction: I was asked whether I'm hungry and need food asap, I absolutely tried my best to clear the situation, by saying I'm not hungry and I was concerned about the meat in the oven.
I literally meant what I asked. I was just thinking that would be too long for that kind of meat.
Well my so called clarification didn't help at all. I was offered with food and suggestions about what I could eat "because I'm hungry" WHICH I'M NOT.
people don't understand what I say, and I don't understand what others say. EVER. These are just two examples from totay. I haven't had any meaningful comunication with anyone since years. NICE.
And the fact that the docs don't even acknowledge my Asperger's diagnosis doesn't help that much either. They have given me all ICD diagnoses (that's the european DSM) but whenever I talk about asperger's, which I was diagnosed with as a young adult by an expert, they get aggressive and yell at me and say that I'm a hypochondriac.
I'm literally done with this world.
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Male
Aspie score: 131 of 200
NT score: 34 of 200
Possibly Aspie (diagnosed by an autism expert, doc moves abroad, forced to change docs and all say it's schizophrenia NOS or schizo-affective disorde or personality disorders. initial doc was a colleague of uncle Simon btw. you do the math.). (edit: by Uncle Simon I mean Simon Baron Cohen. Just to clear things up.)