People getting too close to you

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I am not talking as in close physical proximity but in terms of getting personal. I've had this a few times with email correspondence and I go into avoidant/panic mode. Like when people suggest to meet up/they'll visit you. The immediate thought is " If you see me in the flesh you'll see what a boring/not very good person I am" and "oh s**t entertaining someone face to face !" It's like I struggle to know how to interact face to face.

That reminds me, I'm stopping by your place for a visit today. Me and the camera crew.

I wouldn't want to meet anyone from the internet. Or skype with them or anything else that would break the fourth wall so to speak.

I had this happen to me twice over the last weekend. Someone contacted me over my Xbox One. All I could hear was this American Acsent saying ‘Do you have a mic.’ I switched my Xbox off in a panic. Then on Facebook someone from Pakistan started Messaging me and asking me to be there main speaker at there conference then he video phoned me and it came through on my phone so I quickly switched my phone off!

I participate in some Facebook groups, and several group members have sent me a friend request. I have no interest in engaging with them in a private manner, and I just tell them I don't "do" friends on Facebook.

Elsewhere, I'm always leery when someone wants to cultivate a friendship with me. First thought is "Why? I mean, are they planning to exploit me in some way?" Second thought is "oh HELL no, then I'd have to be careful how I conduct myself."

Thankfully it doesn't happen too often, but when it does, I make it clear I don't wanna meet up IRL.

I once had a penpal (from my country) who was gonna visit the place where I live, and wanted to meet. I said no and they respected that and we stayed in touch for a while after that.
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I had another penpal from another country who was gonna do a year abroad and mentioned some countries they were interested in. Mine wasn't one of them. Then, just a couple of months before they were to leave for their year abroad they sent me a letter telling me surprise they picked my country and it would be so cool to met up. I didn't know what to say, really didn't want to, but not sure how to avoid them for a year. I really did mean to get back to them with something, but when I reluctantly picked up the letter, I realized they were already here. I had messed up the time, thought they came a month later. I never contacted them and never heard from them again.

Whew, I'm glad I'm not the only one with this kind of thing.

I had a group of friends I hung out with in high school and a bit after. I was more social back then due to "social lubricants" both liquid and combustible and also the fearlessness of youth which has since been replaced with sense and good judgement.....

Years later I stumbled on a forum one of my old friends, a computer wizard had created and hosted. It was pre-facebook but was an awesome place for all of us to "catch up" and keep in touch, reminisce, etc. It was great to check in there from time to time. At some point, an informal face to face reunion was proposed at a bar. I'm a radically different person than I was back then in many respects. The thought of reconnecting face to face was scary. I did not participate.