TIL: Conversations are for entertainment, not discussion

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I'm 30 freaking years old and I only just now am learning this. I'm simultaneously excited that a whole new world has opened up, and frustrated/angry that I've been doing it wrong for so long and thrown away so many opportunities.

Frustrated with how I seem to repel people in social situations, I bought the book "Improv(e) Your Conversations: Think on Your Feet, Witty Banter, and Always Know What To Say with Improv Comedy Techniques" by Patrick King, which compares conversations to improv comedy. It gives lots of rules to follow and exercises you can do by yourself to improve which I love!

90% of the time, people do not talk to each other to share information - they want to connect with other people and have fun. A conversation isn't supposed to be an exchange of ideas so much as it is a team effort to build something and make each other feel good. Try to be a good supporting actor and help your fellow conversation participants.

I feel like I've been sliding into a slump of depression and asocial behavior recently, but now I'm really excited to practice and get better at socializing. I feel like it's a whole new world to learn about, that I didn't even know existed before. I like that now I have specific direction and things to work on and that I can see/feel improvement happening already.

One of the exercises the book recommends is to watch a TV show and pause it after a character says something, and think how you would respond in a way that adds value to the conversation and takes the burden off of the other person. Then you unpause, see what the character in the show said, analyze/figure out why what they said was good, and try to incorporate those principles into your own conversations. So far I like The Office and Archer for this but you could watch anything!

This revelation blew my mind and I think is going to completely change the way I approach social situations. Now I'm looking forward to being able to practice my new skills in real life, instead of dreading social situations like I have my whole life.

Go and do likewise gents.

Problem for me then: more often than not, I don't find conversation to be entertaining.

Conversation for information I generally can do without much difficulty. But when someone asks me something like "What are you doing this weekend?" or something else that's intended to help us connect, you can pretty well count on it that we won't connect very much, it's not going to be entertaining, and we're going to be having a very short conversation.

I hate it when people ask me what I'm going to be doing on the weekend.

90% of the time in meetings is taken up by people telling each other who they are. It can get awfully tedious waiting for an opportunity to say something relevant to the agenda.
I'm glad you have found the key to small talk - without such familiarity, you are not offered opportunities. The trick next year will be to avoid interminable discussions of utter trivia, and find mutual inspiration in relationships.

I can do it if I concentrate on not dragging in facts....but after a week of doing this at work with all the yakkety yaks, I'm worn down. This past Friday I stopped in Target for a coffee then set out to browse...tears everywhere. I'm not a talker. ..I was so worn out

Conversation for entertainment is tough for me. I am not considered an exciting person. My weekends consist of chores, errands, and church. They might be more interesting if I had friends to hang out with on the weekends or if I could afford to fly up north and see my best friends. I love to make people laugh when I can. It is easier to make people laugh if they have a sense of humor. People will have more positive feelings about me if I can get them to laugh. When you are autistic, you need more than laughter to win people over. You need to have connections and money. I am considered useless as I can't boost anyone's careers or social status and I can't donate large sums of money to anyone's churches or orgsnizations.

Like HistoryGal, I am very worn out by the end of the day because interacting with people at work all day and trying not to be weird is very exhausting.

I love comedy and I watch a lot of sitcoms and stand up comedy. I use TV shows to learn how to interact with people and figure out how people operate. I also like to study psychology and sociology to learn about human nature, group dynamics, and different personality types.

I have a large stock of interesting stories that are sometimes triggered by something in a conversation, and help the general perspective.
Agreed that humour is golden. If I can get a laugh, I feel accepted. If I might be laughed at, I'll try to trigger it deliberately if possible, and share the laugh, but usually it is something a comedian might remark.
"Life is either a comedy or a tragedy." We can see it either way.