Recently diagnosed with ASD and have some general questions

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I’m 28 married with 2 boys and work as a Correctional Officer in the state of Texas. After having some psych testing done I was diagnosed with ADHD severe anxiety and Autism Spectrum Disorder. I took it kinda hard at first when my Doctor told me that but he said if it were 5 years ago my diagnosis would be Aspergers. So now that that’s outta the way, what are some general coping mechanism or calming mechanisms that y’all use and being a person with ASD would it be weird to wear an Easton Autism hat while playing softball or Easton makes an Autism bat.

To really give good advice, we need to know the areas you struggle in and need help with.

Well I tend to struggle with empathy communication and temper. The lack of empathy helps at work, being that I work inside a maximum security prison but it’s hard for my very social very bleeding hearted wife to understand why I don’t feel thing for people outside of her my boys and my mom. My temper is set off mostly when my “normal” or my expected is altered. And communication I struggle with that because it’s hard for me to read a persons feelings and tone so I can misinterpreted things said by my wife and friends or by my coworkers.

Few people really lack empathy, many autistic people feel it so stonily that they start to suppress it, and most of us simply don't show it in the same way as others.

You explain your difficulty with anger as "when my “normal” or my expected is altered", this comes from difficulty with change. What I find help is;
1. Plan ahead, and give yourself warning.
2. In a situation that things are likely to change, make sure you plan a way for you to escape.
This means either having a comfortable place you can retreat to and be alone, or be able to leave on short notice.
3. Have a place to calm down in alone, hopefully with a special interest, when at home.
4. Control certain parts of your routine, for instance having a glass of juice with breakfast each morning.
I personally find it helps because then you can make an active choice over which part of your routine is important, so it is easier to keep yourself calm so long as that part remains the same.

It will help ease misunderstandings if you can explain to your family that you have trouble with less than literal statements and reading mood, and you should also work too give people the benefit of the doubt on their actions and words because you know you are likely to get it wrong.

Thank you that’s very helpful. About the autism hat or softball bat is there an opinion autism related attire or equipment.

Welcome. I don't really understand what you're asking about the bat and attire.

About the lack of empathy. Do you feel like you can't fully understand what a person might be feeling or going through unless you've been there or felt the same thing before? That's how it is for me. If I've never experienced the same thing I can only imagine it which is make believe, I don't do make believe well.

I've broken fingers. One, very badly. If I were to talk with someone who had broken their finger, I would totally empathize with their pain because, I've "been there".

My wife and I belonged to a small group of couples who would get together through church some years back. We were newest in the group. We would catch up on what happened in each other's lives since we last met. On person in the group had some health problems that other couples knew about previously. She said she'd just found out she had some sort of blood disease I'd never heard of and she and her husband were worried that at worst, she might die. I realized later that night that I sat there stone faced and I think they picked up on that. I had no reaction because:

-I didn't know what to do or say in the moment
-I was trying to figure out what disease she said she had
-I had no idea what having that disease entails or what issues she might face. I felt I needed to know the severity before I could formulate the correct response that would be meaningful and appropriate.
-I did feel bad for her, but I couldn't instantly process all of that and did not want to say something disingenuous
-I thought saying something like: "I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you get better." didn't seem like enough.
-There's no concrete rule on what to say to someone in a situation like that so I didn't know what to do.

My wife didn't really know what to do either. It turned out she was misdiagnosed and ended up being ok. But we were not invited to one of their children's weddings and all other couples were....

I know what you mean about family. My wife had to be in the hospital two different times with the birth of our kids and I never left her side. One of our kids was really sick for about five days when he was little and I camped out in his room on couch cushions on his floor and never left his side.

Do you identify with that kind of thing?