What can I do and go to socialise ?

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Even though I have Asperger's Syndrome I like to socialise and interact with other people who don't have Aspergers or Autism usually with people at work. But I hardly have any friends since leaving school, college or uni to go out with. I don't go to nightclubs, bars or pubs, I've only gone to a pub with family occasionally. I don't like nightclubs because of flashing lights, noise, they get crowded, and the music is what I don't like anyway. It feels like there isn't many options to choose from to go out and be social and meet new people. I do feel like life is wasting away for me because I hardly have any friends to go out with and be social with and going out somewhere exciting for the day with them or going out with them to a bar or somewhere is a requirement to enjoy life when you're young. I do feel like I'm missing out even though some of that stuff as I mentioned. I just like in my own leisure time, read my books, try and write a book, play a game, watch youtube or TV or listen to music. To some people to them I'm just a boring nerd.

No point in going if you don't really have anyone to go with.



Pounds to pastries there will be an autism group where you live. I'd bet the farm on it. These usually are not well advertised though.

Actually, there are eleven groups across Kent. I recommend that you get in touch with 'em.



I'd go for a pint with you. Are you on AV?



I know the feeling, but I'd be quite happy just to drink at home.

Socializing is definitely and surprisingly (to many) harder after leaving college or university. What I recommend is you join some sort of organization that does an activity you enjoy during your leisure time. You don't like the type of music in nightclubs, so would you rather go to chamber music concerts? Or the symphony? Perhaps you could take out a season subscription for two tickets, and ask a work friend to go (for free) now and then; or you might join the people who fundraise for that organization. Working on a board of directors (for anything) is both rewarding and provides repeated close contacts that lead to friendship. You mention you like to write, so possibly consider joining a writer's circle where people take turns reading and accepting feedback on their manuscripts. Even hanging out at a local bar or pub on a regular basis allows you to develop some connections. And finally, there are a myriad of interest groups in Meetup, pick one and start going regularly.

I agree with BeaArthur and suggest that you should try local hobby/interest groups. A writing group gave me the means to escape from isolation many years ago now. I am slipping back into isolation again and so I have lined up a new writing group that will start in September. Any interest group has a wonderful mix of intensity (when the specialism is being explored) and then a social margin when people retire after the meeting to a local bar or a pub. I think the advantage of such groups is that people get to know you through the group-work first and through discussions it is easier to explain the autistic spectrum in relaxed surroundings.

I was nearly forty years undiagnosed and I was isolated for long periods, mainly because I could not adapt to changing environments, since I am sound sensitive. I could not achieve any continuity because noisy places would break up my attention.

The writers' group was perfect for me because it allowed me to express how I experienced the world, even though I cannot honestly say that many could easily understand the world I was describing . However the writers' group provided a much needed oasis of calm and silence, since that particular group met one evening a week in a library.

If you have a community house near you, you can go there they have activities and you might find something that interests you.
I go to one and we play games like Rummy once a week.