Handling emotion

Post Reply New Topic

I'm 36 and I still find this difficult. I don't know if CBT might help.

I can get very overwhelmed by negative emotions. I can't control it. They consume me. I do suffer from depression, but I think it's more than that. Can a meltdown last weeks? Surely not.

I feel like I get more overwhelmed by emotion than average people.

I feel bad for my family and friends because they have to deal with my crying and saying how much pain I'm in and they can't help.

I'm thankful for The Haven because I can throw things out into the ether rather than burden my family... again and again.

I've had 3 bad weeks, but I'm feeling ok now. One thing tripped me up and another picked me up.

And that scares me. How one little thing... And it was significant... could send me spiralling into despair.

Can anyone relate and suggest coping mechanisms.

I think it's best to learn how to feel/endure the emotion. I found helpful videos by Shari Schreiber, Richard Grannon, and Kris Godinez on YouTube about that. I had a therapist try CBT with me and I thought it was a nightmare--basically talking yourself out of healthy emotions. I think any value CBT has is the value basic logic has. There is no cure all, and any therapy kind of comes off that way. You will probably find a better balance in yourself by listening to your feelings instead of fighting them or downplaying them. I know I have. Hope this helps you

I used to have outbursts that upset my loved ones, and I hated it. So the doctor put me on Sertraline.

But I'm not suggesting you to try antidepressants, because I know not everyone wants to take meds. I'm just saying that they helped me. I'm not saying being on meds has made me into an emotionless robot. I still cry, have panic attacks, get pissed off and anxious, etc. But being on meds have helped me have control over the outbursts.

Before I went on meds, I sometimes had raging outbursts where I cried, screamed, shouted, swore, hit myself in the head, slammed doors, and argued with loved ones. When I calmed down, I was left shaking with a splitting headache, and also had the guilt of causing upset for my family. It was also embarrassing to the neighbours.

I've been on Sertraline for over 4 years now and since I've been taking them I've not had an outburst like I was having before. If I do have an outburst, it is more of a panic attack, and it doesn't upset my family. The panic attacks just include crying and breathing difficulties, and it goes away when I'm comforted and reassured. If I feel myself getting angry, I can control it, without the risk of the rage building up inside me. I might yell, swear and argue and even cry, but even NTs do that when angry. But it's still more controllable and doesn't upset everyone involved.

Ok. Yeah I have been to see the Dr and I've been put back on anti depressants.

Hopefully it will help me gain a bit of stability.

CBT did seem like lying to myself. I did a course about 8 years ago. The therapist was nice and supportive. I think that helped more than the techniques.

The thing is I need to accept the emotion, but not spiral out of control with negative views about myself. I get so focussed on how it must be my fault things are going wrong.

I struggle with this as I have the whole range of emotions and I am very observant and sensitive to peoples actions/words/inaction.

What Ive found is that most of my emotion comes from frustration at not understanding whats going on. I think if you deny yourself for the sake of others then over time it builds into such a great loss its like perpetual grief that sits in the background but affects everything you do.

Everyone compromises as a partner or a parent, or even as a child of parents who place too much expectations on their kids. But its realising where the sources of these emotions are thats helped me the most. I spoke about it to a psychologist and he made me realise how I dont ensure my basic needs are met, because I give to loved ones too much and never put myself first with loads of things. Over time it leaves you either lacking your true identity or in a kind of emotional vortex where you dont know how to find joy in what you do.

I have to take back time for me, do the things I love without feeling that they are wrong or not good enough use of time. Its really stupid but just a disapproving look can ruin my whole day, and often the person involved wont even think they gave it.

It is so hard dealing with depression. I dealt with it as a young teen, and for my entire life. I suffer from atypical depression and so it comes and goes. But when it is there, it is there. Some months I can't handle emotion or support from others. I remember when I was 16 I wouldn't even get out of the bed to use the bathroom sometimes. Not because I was lazy, or just wanted attention, I just felt as though I was pralized... I suppose in the grim fear and hopeless state I was in.

Simply know that you have an entire community behind you that want you to do well just as we want ourself's to do well. I truely hope you reach your goals, and you have found a fantastic place to generate support from!

I have found it useful to think of my chronic depression as something that needs to be managed, as you would manage weight or diabetes. This gives me a slight remove from the actual emotional disorder, and instead of focusing on the depressive ideas (such as "nobody loves me" or "I am worthless"), I can focus on things you do to manage the illness:

- are you getting enough sleep?
- is your diet proper?
- how much exercise are you getting?
- are you making sure to get some fun activities?
- should you consider a med change?
- should you get back into psychotherapy?

Frequently when asked questions like this, I can see something I can change immediately to improve my depression management.

I would recommend therapy of some sort. CBT can help you combat negative thought patterns - like all or nothing thinking and catastrophizing. It’s not really about getting rid of negative emotions, but learning how to not let them limit you.

Just talking is helpful for me right now, but I don’t have a very open relationship with family and friends.

I've always said that I don't advocate "eliminating" negative emotions. I've always said that one shouldn't allow these negative emotions to "limit" you.

I mean...as much as possible.

I don't always succeed, of course.....but the thought of this should remain part of a person's mindset.

Meditation helped me in this regard. I learned to detach from my thoughts & emotions & simply observe them. Meditation has to be done almost-daily to be of benefit though. Kind of like brushing your teeth.

Well, my Dr suggested getting my hormones tested without me even suggesting it. Really pleased. My new Dr seems on the ball.

I've also been reading How to be Yourself and although it is about anxiety it seems to have some good coping mechanisms for me to try out.