I really hate when people use their aspergers to "get stuff"

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Biskit69
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26 Aug 2018, 2:47 pm

Since I have aspergers and adhd, some of my friends tell me "you know you can get special benefits because of those". But I don't really want to, I just see it as rude to tell someone "I have aspergers" or "I have adhd" or whatever when you do something douchey or to get something. Anyone else feel this way?


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ASPartOfMe
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26 Aug 2018, 3:49 pm

When people used it as a crutch, an excuse, and especially as a manipulative sob story to get stuff it hurts the credibility of people who ask for stuff they need and cannot get due to autistic traits.


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26 Aug 2018, 6:49 pm

If my Asperger's is genuinely the reason for my misunderstanding of something or for a behavioral trait of mine then I see no harm in clarifying that fact so's not to come across as intentionally mean or hurtful.



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26 Aug 2018, 7:04 pm

What can I get for having Asperger's? I want to know!


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Gallia
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26 Aug 2018, 7:12 pm

true, but also it's hard to know when you need help.

For instance, I spent a lot of this year dealing with various existential crises and headfucks. I could easily have gotten diagnosed with something and got a much needed extension for my essays which would have boosted my grades. I didn't. I wanted to, I just never felt like going to the GP and going through the process. I am used to being like this. Is it normal? it feels that way because i've been like this for years now - it's my "new" normal. but i don't want to live like this. it's exhausting. So... in essence, i could have made my life easier and got stuff. I usually don't ask for help unless desperate. And even then, the more i'm getting used to live with various mental states (probably would get diagnosed with depression or bipolar) i feel less and less inclined to ask for help. I just don't care and feel disillusioned with how mental health services operate that i prefer my methods. If i need a chat desperately I go online to vent.
I also have my own theories about mental health so I don't agree with a lot of the stuff that is considered normative.


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graceksjp
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26 Aug 2018, 8:11 pm

I get what you're saying. I know a lot of people that got longer exam times and could get 1.5 times the same time as everyone else for hw and projects because they appealed to the school some bs "learning disability" excuse. I had a super smart friend who completely made something up in order to get it just because she was lazy. I personally never even thought of doing it myself.


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26 Aug 2018, 8:31 pm

Oh you guys were talking about extra time for tests and such. I was envisioning key chains, coffee mugs, crap like that.

Carry on.


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goldfish21
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26 Aug 2018, 10:06 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
What can I get for having Asperger's? I want to know!


$. Well, in my country, anyways.

If I wanted to use my Asperger's to get stuff (if I weren't like minded with the OP) I'd down a bottle of doxycycline and poison myself with some salicylic acid and a sh***y diet and then go get an official diagnosis so I can fill out a bunch of disability tax credit forms for the last ~20 years or however many they let you go back and then get a nice big fat tax return cheque in the tens of thousands of dollars.

But like my Aunt said, if you can work and don't Need it, you shouldn't take gov't benefits. I agree with that. Perhaps to my own financial detriment as it literally takes me years to save up that kind of money.. but oh well, it is what it is.


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lostonearth35
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26 Aug 2018, 10:34 pm

And that's why I feel embarrassed or ashamed to admit to most NTs that I have challenges because of my Asperger's. People will think it's nothing but a pathetic excuse to be treated "special". I know I'm not special, teachers and adults told me so when I was a teenager and they were right even before I was diagnosed. :(



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26 Aug 2018, 11:06 pm

Biskit69 wrote:
Since I have aspergers and adhd, some of my friends tell me "you know you can get special benefits because of those". But I don't really want to, I just see it as rude to tell someone "I have aspergers" or "I have adhd" or whatever when you do something douchey or to get something. Anyone else feel this way?



I have seen people use it to get a seat on a plane when airport computers would get stupid and somehow can't find your tickets in the system. I hate it when that happens so that made me think I can start playing my diagnoses card so I can get a seat on the plane and not have to rely on layaway because the computers f****d up and they couldn't find my tickets in the system. No more anxiety and being stuck at airports ever again. My dad used to tell me this is normal when flying so get used to it. Well I guess I don't have to anymore.


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26 Aug 2018, 11:08 pm

Some also use autism to cut in lines, maybe I should use my diagnoses and use anxiety to not wait in lines. Hooray, I can go on more rides.


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Serpentine
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27 Aug 2018, 1:04 am

I don't take advantage of the diagnosis to get things I don't need or as an excuse to be a jerk.

I am bad off enough that I am no longer able to hold a job. I hung in there for 20+ years, did my very best and had a good run so it's not as if I am a deadbeat. Unfortunately it's gotten progressively harder to cope. I applied for disability and don't feel guilty about it. I paid into that safety net without the expectation that I would ever use it, but now that I do need it that's what it's there for.

I am polite to people and treat them as I would like to be treated. Sometimes I screw up, realize what I did and just apologize without explanation. Sometimes I can't understand why or how I screwed up and then I do state that I have Asperger's syndrome and ask what it was I said or did that was offensive or inconsiderate so that I don't repeat the mistake.

There's getting the help, accommodations and services that you need and then there's abusing your diagnosis to be a mooch and a generally lousy person. I do the former; I wouldn't dream of doing the latter.


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27 Aug 2018, 3:17 am

I would say that if someone needs to escape from a situation where their needs are ignored then I would say health benefits along with a sound diagnosis are vital. If someone's needs are already understood then they have a choice about health benefits and I would say go with what brings you that self-respect and dignity.

I think the key situation with me is sound sensitivity. A noisy environment completely overwhelms me and I cannot think or breathe properly and it leads to panic attacks. As the noise continues I just have to get out. Without explaining my A.S. and asking for other's help I cannot participate. So many plans and projects start in one environment and progress or develop in another. I would say that auditory sensitivity has forced disclosure more than anything else. It is also the one thing I would change in my A.S. if I could, because not relating to people can be managed and endured for decades (because I have done that) but the sound sensitivity is almost unbearable.

I sometimes feel that I should not get allowances from others, because there are people who are in constant pain and who need the support more than me. However I also feel that without support and understanding I could not continue my charity work and I could not make a difference.



Benjamin the Donkey
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27 Aug 2018, 5:00 am

League_Girl wrote:
Some also use autism to cut in lines, maybe I should use my diagnoses and use anxiety to not wait in lines. Hooray, I can go on more rides.


Cut in lines? Well, my autism means I get very anxious and angry when people cut ahead of me in lines. Back to your place!


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Biskit69
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27 Aug 2018, 3:49 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
What can I get for having Asperger's? I want to know!

I saw this kid at a theme park telling someone that he is autistic so the person in line let the kid cut.


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EC6456
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27 Aug 2018, 4:10 pm

I'm so torn; I feel this way too (like I don't want to just shout it out to get anything and everything) but I'm about to go in for a diagnosis on the 10th, and if I do get one, and there are any benefits to be had, I feel like I would be working against my family to not try for them. I have a good job, but the massive amount of debt I incurred getting to this point is keeping us down, and most of the time we are short on food (and we need to get our car fixed to, so I'm riding the bus for now (and getting motion sick)). I make just enough not to qualify for 'regular' benefits, so if I were to be diagnosed, I don't know if it would still be wrong for me to pursue those benefits until we are in a better place financially? My grandpa is always telling me that he's worked all his life and put a lot of money into the system, so if we need something we should use it, but at the same time that's just not who I am. I know there are people out there much worse off than me, but at the same time it isn't like my family is in a good place. I need to make sure my husband and son have their basic needs met. Would using my diagnosis to get benefits temporarily make me a bad person?


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