Very Mild or NT?

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Hi, all. I hope you're all having a good very early morning or whatever presumably not stupid time you're currently perusing at.

So this is my first actual thread on here, even though a handful may have seen me here and there.

I wanted to talk slightly about mild autism or what I think is possibly bordering NT with vague autistic traits. That's essentially what I am, and sometimes it's hard to know whether I'm autistic or not. I've seen a lot of people like to paste their test scores in their signatures, and most (if not all) are often high scores. I usually score about 50/50 on those tests with a slight skew toward autistic traits / ASD signs.

It's unfortunate to be this way because it can be hard to associate with severely autistic people where outgoing, party hearty neurotypicals are the alternative usually. So it's like being an outsider to both sides.

Does anybody else feel this way? I'm not alone, I know, but it would be nice to hear from anybody else who feels this way or has been tested to be an almost symmetrical split like myself.


For clarity, I do have a professional diagnosis that I used to claim ESA with.

I "passed" most of my life and only considered getting evaluated after both of my two children were diagnosed with Asperger's. I believe I have a milder case than either of them.

You mention not identifying with either more severe autism cases nor the party hearty neurotypicals. Here's a suggestion. Why don't you just consider yourself sensitive and eccentric? (neither of those being a negative, in my view)

Hi, Mythos. I would be similar. I have some traits consistent with ASD and some that are not. In another thread, you posted a list of your traits. I have reprinted that list here, with a description of whether or not each item applies to me:

- “understand sarcasm.” Yes, this is true of me. I can also produce sarcasm.

- “understand humour.” Yes, this is true of me. And I can produce humor, although it is almost always dry, self-deprecating humor.

- “understand facial / visual cues.” Yes, this is true of me.

- “do not have any particular / evident stimming”
Here I am different. I clearly have stimming behaviors. The most persistent is a tendency to rock when standing or sitting. I also have routines for pretty much everything. And I have sub-routines built into my routines, so that if I have to vary a routine, I have a routine for how it is varied. All of these behaviors manifest in ways that align better with ASD than OCD. They have existed since I was very young and are not aversive to me.

- “like to socialise but struggle to sometimes / social anxiety”
Here I am similar. I can enjoy socializing when I do it, but I have less drive to be social than other people. I am best with people I know very well, in situations with defined roles (teacher/student; supervisor/employee; clerk/customer, etc.), or when the motivating reason for the interaction is something instrumental (I need something from you or you need something from me).

I have the greatest problems with interactions that are purely social. The only way to describe it is that I seem to lack an internal compass to guide their initiation. I can go along with what others want to do to be social (advantage of being able to read faces and emotions). But I almost never initiate a purely social interaction on my own because I don’t have any internal cue that would tell me when and why to do so. (I do have a moral compass when interacting, however, so it is not an antisocial personality type thing.)

I am generally a neurotic person so there is a fair amount of anxiety about both social and non-social things. In a social situation, anxiety will make me more standoffish. I also will have trouble socializing if the environment is too loud or chaotic. I can’t think well in those situations.

- “have interests but not obsessions.” This is true of me. But if I happen to get anxious about something that is related to an interest, then the interest will start creeping up to an obsessive level.

- “average to high emotional intelligence.” This is true of me.

All of those things you posted are true of me too. I believe its just down to how I grew up not knowing but with each mistake I would go away and analyse the errors until I knew which way to try next time. Over the years when you learn from the times which worked you do end up very able to blend.

It was really interesting for me going through the diagnosis process with my son (who I had been basically training to mask well without knowing) and my daughter who was older again. Psychologists at first saw no autism at all in us and it was a real task to get them to see it. We all had to 'prove' it and it took many years overall.

My younger daughter never had any problems in that way and they just seemed to know she was autistic immediately. Ive never picked her up on any of her quirks so I guess it depends very much on how you have been 'trained' by your parents.

No diagnosis, but I can relate to feeling caught between the two worlds. When I was 10 I noticed that some people were considered funny and some not, which interested me. So I started practicing to make jokes. It's not hard for me to make NT people laugh, and I enjoy asking them questions, learning about their lives. On the other hand, I still walk on my toes going upstairs; tend to see facial expressions in extreme terms (happy, sad, mad); can miss sarcasm (it's easy for me to be sarcastic, harder for me to hear it); have to be very conscious of eye contact, posture, facial expressions, vocal inflection; have facial blindness; light and noise sensitivity, etc. I kind of feel like some of these things can become an advantage, with the right attitude. I could stress over missing social cues when dating, for example, or just realize being fairly direct, honest, and calm is probably refreshing for people. Ultimately, too much of what people with autism are is defined by people without autism. Lately, I try not to worry about it, and I relate a lot to the NT and ND people I deal with since we're all human. It's easy to forget that with all these silly identity labels.

I also seem to have a very mild version of it. I stim but only when no one is watching. My biggest problems I had all my life were anxiety and ADHD. Otherwise I had top grades in school and was bad at sports. I love humor, sarcasm and have passed as NT. People though kept saying I was extremely shy all through out. I consider myself a bit eccentric. But after my daughter got diagnosed with social communication disorder with a few autistic traits I think I have it too.

I am similar. Diagnosed 2 years ago and I think people would be surprised if they learned I had AS.

One or my main issues is socialising. I like being on my own doing my thing most of the time but struggle to socialise when put in that position. In large groups I just find it all a bit confusing and too much. I find it hard to keep up with conversations.

I had just 2 friends until recently when 1 moved away.

Thanks for the responses, all. I wish I could respond to them all right now but I don't quite have the technology (phone) to create a multiquote like I want to.

Just know I appreciate it, and I hope to get around to it eventually when I get the laptop back.

Thanks again.

People might be surprised if I told them I have AS.

They wouldn't have been surprised when I was 3 years old, though. I had "full-blown" autism then----the whole nine yards.

I don't know what happened when I was 5 1/2 years old, when I all of a sudden acquired speech.

I have very mild but diagnosed ASD. Most people wouldn’t guess that I am on the autism spectrum. They just think that I’m very shy and maybe reserved. I understand people very well and can pick up on nuances that most people miss. Perhaps that’s a skill that most introverted people have.

I have trouble with making friends and building a social network, though. I’m pretty much a hermit. Unless I’m very comfortable with someone, I struggle with the give and take of conversations. I mostly just listen when others talk instead of contributing and adding my personal experience to the conversation.

I tend to have different beliefs and opinions compared to those around me so that could be part of it, too. I was also very sheltered as I was growing up.