Antidepressants? Anxiety relief?

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Not sure where to post this. Sorry if it's in the wrong area. I have been living with severe depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I have tried a few different medications but none of them help.. I just end up worse or in a zombie like state where I sleep most of the time (so, I guess it helps purely by the fact I'm too tired and out of it to really react or do anything besides sleep). I'm going back to my doctor next month (after being off medication and hiding for several months after a huge shut down). I am wondering which medications work best? I don't mind the anxiety.. I've been like this forever so it's nothing new and I deal okay I guess but the depression.. I hate everything. Nothing makes me happy. Life is just so hopeless and boring. I want to be able to just be me and have fun and enjoy things So, what has worked best for you? I know some research says a certain type of antidepressant or anxiety medication isn't great for those of us on the spectrum. Is that correct? Which ones do I tell my doctor no to and which ones will actually help.

In my case, staying away from every single thing that would even slightly resemble an antidepressant, is the way to go. They make me very very crazy. Even lamictal, which is a bipolar med, Buspar, which is not really an antidepressant and even fish oil. But I also tend to crazyness and am suspected to have mild bipolar.
So in my case they don't turn me into a zombie, but into a very very irritable monster so I suppose our brains are different.
Sometimes when antidepressants don't work, doctors turn to bipolar medication, which includes Lamictal, Lithium, Valproic acid etc. or antipsychotics like Seroquel or Risperdal or Zyprexa. Or add one of these to the antidepressant to give it more oomph and counteract the irritability / agitation side effects. Risperdal is also supposed to be good for AS according to my doc and some studies. And seroquel is supposed to be very effective against bipolar depression (to my knowledge don't count too much on me).

I get more antidepressive relief from antipsychotics than from actual antidepressants.
Just my personal experience. I'm not suggesting what you should do. But you can ask your doc about these options.

Here is my personal "prescription":

for me, seeking relief through meds was a total trap. It didn't help.
My suggestions: Read Eckhart Tolle's books, watch some Jeff Foster videos on youtube, other interesting people on youtube are Jim Newman and Tony Parsons. Try to live in the moment, and accept everything, including the depression as something that "is".

And try to relax by doing autistic things and spending times doing your hobbies, even if they seem totally useless (even if it helps you to bang sticks together, that's completely fine! I personally sing profanities or stuff with no meaning what so ever. It's all about you. Nobodies business.)

Stop caring about other people's judgments about you, not a single person on earth knows you better than yourself and not a single person will agree with you on everything and that's COMPLETELY FINE. Every person is precious the way he is, even if everyone else says or thinks the opposite. If you believe in god, know that "God loves you the way you are". "God doesn't love you "because"". god loves you "so". Replace god with universe or energy or whatever.