Do I have Aspergers....or not?

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My apologies in advance for the length. Kudos to anyone who cares to read it all.
Hi. My name is Grace and I’m 18 years old.
When I was nine years old I was diagnosed with Aspergers. (However, I have also been diagnosed with IED, ADHD, and anxiety and they can’t all be true) However, I didn’t find out about any diagnoses until I was in high school. You see, I’ve been raised my whole life as normal. I was never treated any differently than my three (very normal) older brothers. However, they seemed like perfect children compared to me. Ill admit it: I was pretty terribly behaved [like we’re talking giant-screaming-sobbing-meltdowns-well-into-middle-school-years, terribly behaved. Plus other things) As such, my parents never wanted me to be labeled as anything because they believed it would give me an excuse to act badly. So I was raised and punished like any normal (awfully behaved) kid and only found out about the Aspergers thing by accident a few years ago. Of course the first thing I did was go online and dig up everything I could about it. But most of it left me even more confused. Some of it made me think “Omg that totally explains it” and others had me going “I’m nothing like that!” So I did what my parents did and I denied it. I mean, I’d made it this far acting as a normal person, so surely I couldn’t possibly be autistic right? Even if it was true when I was nine, I was sure I had grown out of it. Most people would never think I had it, so I clearly wasn’t showing any too obvious symptoms. (Unless they just thought I was weird. Totally possible. I kinda have no friends so....yeah they probably just think I’m weird) Over time though I kept thinking that maybe it was real, because much higher percentage of the symptoms were true than not. But I didn’t know how to prove it either way. I’m 18 now, and I think if I’m to live a successful adult life this is something I need to know about myself. Going to a professional is out of the question; my parents would never let me. But I was wondering if there was any real way to self diagnose myself? Y’all are the only ones who truly knows what it feels like to live with the disorder. Perhaps you could tell me what that means to you? And I could see if I match or something? I don’t really know. Is it something I could’ve grown out of? Or been trained out of? I know my parents worked really hard to get rid of any annoying or strange behaviors I had as a child.
Thanks in advance for any responses. Major respect to you if you made it through that whole thing.

Welcome to WrongPlanet!

What you describe (not having friends, explosive outbursts, etc.) certainly sounds like Asperger's is a possibility. And I wouldn't say it's any less likely based on the fact that you don't meet every aspect that you read about it. There are many traits of Asperger's, and everyone has each trait to a different degree, or you could even not have some of the traits at all. Here's a good comic about it:
http://the-art-of-autism.com/understand ... planation/

You asked whether you could have outgrown it. The answer is no. If your brain is wired with Asperger's, it's not something that ever goes away; that's the way your brain is wired.

However, you also asked whether you could have been trained out of it? The answer to that is "sort of". You can absolutely learn to cope with ASD, and the diagnostic criteria even explicitly says that signs and symptoms "may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life.".

Need other people would have noticed? I went until age 36 without being diagnosed and, while I've always had quirks, I don't think most people can identify them as ASD, but I think that's because most people don't really know about the higher functioning end of the spectrum; when most people think of autism, they think of people who do things like rock all the time, and are very obviously different just by looking at them.

I don't know much about IED, but it is certainly possible to have both ADHD and ASD at the same time under the DSM-5, so I wouldn't assume that you couldn't have all three conditions.

One self-test that I like is the AQ (Autism Quotient) test. It's the self-test that I did when it was first brought to my attention that I might have ASD, and eventually led to me getting my formal diagnosis. Keep in mind that the test does not give you a diagnosis - all it does is check whether you have traits that are common among those with ASD, and it's entirely possible to have these traits without having ASD. Here's a link to the test:
http://aspergerstest.net/aq-test/

Nobody here can either diagnose or undiagnose you, nor can the AQ test - only a psychologist can do that. I tend to think that, if you were diagnosed by a psychologist at age 9, the diagnosis is probably correct, and you probably do have ASD. But, whatever the case may be, it doesn't change who you are.

Don't let the label of "Aspie" or "Neurotypical" define you. Be yourself.

Welcome to Wrong Planet

If you are going to live a successful adult life you are going to have to learn to do things your parents disapprove of. Is there a psychologist or psychology department in your school where you can get reassessed?

I can not diagnose or undiagnose you based on one post but the things SplendidSnail said above about not being able to grow out of it but leaning to cope with it, that you do not have to have every trait to be autistic, that it is possible to be autistic and have these other conditions are all true.

As far as self diagnosing that is a controversial subject although as mentioned below since you have been diagnosed technically you can’t self diagnose. If you reassess yourself know that autism is a complex condition and a condition whose traits occur in other conditions. So through research into the condition should be done before coming to any conclusions. You want to come to a conclusion or strong suspicion based on the evidence. You do not want to fit the evidence to the Aspergers diagnosis you want or the Asperpers you have but want to deny.

Diagnostic Criteria for Aspergers

There is a newer diagnostic manual where Aspergers is not a official diagnosis but part of the Autism Spectrum Diagnosis
Diagnostic Criteria for Autism Spectrum Disorder

“The Complete Guide to Asperger Syndrome” by Tony Attwood comes highly recommended.


Anybody autistic or not is welcome a wrong planet. Autistic or not if you have traits associated with autism that give you problems most likely there are people here with same problems that can help you.

Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 18 Aug 2018, 4:22 am, edited 7 times in total.

You already have a diagnosis, its not something you need to have done again as Im sure it will be in your medical records somewhere despite what your parents think of it.

I was diagnosed late, my kids early because I know the perils of living a life undiagnosed.

Those behaviours you talk of are the behaviours born from not having your autism catered for. I myself went through all that and had a terrible time at school etc. I look back and wonder how I ever made it when faced with such adversity. Its my job now to prevent all that from ruining my childrens education and maybe it will even help their personal friendships/ relationships.

Dont feel like you should shield yourself from your asd. It is you, not some kind of disease that comes and goes depending on the medicine. Have you looked up Tania Marshall and her work on women with aspergers? The way its put in her work makes it understandable and I'll post the links if youve not already seen it?

How the blazes am I supposed to know? I don't know you.

So essentially I probably have it, but there’s no actual way to know for sure. Eh, whatevs its not like it would’ve really changed anything.
Thanks so much to everyone who posted a reply! It means a lot to me that you took the time to do so. I’ll look into everything you’ve said.
In all honesty I’m not really sure why I posted this in the first place, it was kinda stupid of me smh. Thanks anyway though.

If you think posting this is stupid, you'd be glad to hear that I've done things that are stupider. Oh yes, far stupider. Like making hydrogen inside my house using Aluminum and sodium hydroxide, and trying to make a flare with the gas as it blew out of a glass tube from the top of a flask. I lit the flare too soon before the H2 had pushed out all the O2 from the flask, the flame backshot into the flask, shattering the tube and sending the stopper flying so high it nearly hit the ceiling. Had my hand been directly over it I would've ended up with several pieces of glass embedded in it.

If you are 18 or older then technically your parents can't stop you from getting a diagnosis if you so desire it. You're an adult now, free to do as you will.

It definitely wasn't stupid of you to post this - it's things like this that the forum exists for. I hope we've been able to be of some help.



Actually, in my case, the only reason my diagnosis is in my medical records is because I specifically went out of my way to take the diagnosis papers to my doctor to have the diagnosis recorded in my medical records.

The psychologist was very clear before we started the diagnostic process that as long as he didn't suspect I was either homicidal or suicidal, everything we said would be completely confidential, including the diagnosis results. I'm sure the psychologist has a record of my diagnosis, but he's pretty close to retirement.

This post resonated with me because I was 'diagnosed' as a child, but have spent my entire life fighting it on the basis that I don't feel different on the inside, I feel like just any other person but happen to have an interesting mix of personality traits that cause me to be perceived as 'different'. As such I have no idea whether or not I should go by labels such as AS, or continue living as though that diagnosis never happened. So I totally get what you mean about how hard it is to know whether or not to accept a diagnosis. It's like I had any chance of being 'normal' taken away from me as a child; so I ask myself - if I'd never been diagnosed in such a way, would I have had more chance of being normal? As opposed to constantly being told how different I was (which in my opinion makes you play up to it more).

All I know is, I wish people would accept me exactly as I am instead of constantly telling me I need to change or improve or be different in some way.

Grace my heart goes out to you and I hope you find your answers. <3

I'm very similar (I literally just posted a thread of something to this tune only a few minutes ago, had I seen your thread I may not have bothered). You're probably like me and let me know if you are;

- understand sarcasm
- understand humour
- understand facial / visual cues
- do not have any particular / evident stimming
- like to socialise but struggle to sometimes / social anxiety
- have interests but not obsessions
- average to high emotional intelligence


All of these were major detractors from feeling like I was autistic and I'm in doubt today. If you feel the same way, it's possible that it's just a sort of mild autism / high functioning Asperger's syndrome. I've also suspected its possibly a broad autism phenotype - esque disorder.


Anyway, you could be entirely different altogether but I'm just trying to pinpoint people like myself. Either way, a diagnosis is never really a negative thing.

SplendidSnail,
I took that Autism Quotient test and got a 44 out of 50...so thats probably saying something lol

Mythos,
We actually do sound pretty similar! I will say on the sarcasm/humor I sometimes take things way too literally, but I personally use sarcasm like all the time and typically don't have a problem keeping up when others use it. The other things on your list sound pretty accurate too (except maybe the visual cues) so thats cool. On the topic of obsessions, do you not ever have any? I don't have that like one thing that I'm always obsessed with but when I get stuck on a topic of interest I'm like totally stuck and nothing could distract me from it (including food and sleep lol).

I did a self diagnosis of myself a few months ago. It is available here The Aspie Code. I personally think that being treated as normal may have given you one step up over most Aspies today. Your parents taught you how to be as close to normal as they could. That will benefit you as the years roll by.

[quote="graceksjp"]SplendidSnail,
I took that Autism Quotient test and got a 44 out of 50...so thats probably saying something lol]

I have a diagnosis and last got an AQ score of 45. I would be amazed if you did not have Aspergers'. You are not even nearly borderline.
I was raised as 'normal' by an Aspie mother. It does leave scars. However, I think it does help to be raised as normal in some ways. If you don't know what you can't do, sometimes you can do it! Counter-intuitive, but true. Being an aspie should not lead to low expectations from parents.

44 out of 50 is pretty high. I got 26, which is kind of middle of the road ("you have some autistic traits") so for me, it's not easy to tell specifically.

It's interesting that we have at least some of those in common. I don't have any strong obsessions but I do have significant interests, hobbies, schedules, etc. It would probably upset me greatly if they were taken from me so whether or not I'm underestimating their significance is something I'm still stuck on. Maybe they can be classified as obsessions but I'm not certain. I think we're also quite alike with regards to your last comment; I usually don't sleep and sometimes don't eat for a long time if I'm really invested in something. I like to think I manage time well but I'm no expert on dragging myself away from things.

Wow. First time I did the test I got 36. Other times I've scored anywhere from 33 to 41, depending on how I felt on that particular day. So you scored higher than I ever have.

sounds a lot like me tbh