Anyone here hate themesevles so much?

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I hate myself so I believe I don't deserve to happy. My best friend deserves it, I don't.

For much of my life, I have believed many similar variations of what you described. FWIW, more recently I've begun to wonder if such beliefs were actually a front for the anxiety, confusion and bewilderment I felt over aspects of my life I couldn't figure out. A manifestation derived from grasping onto unresolved pain I've allowed to define me. I still struggle with self hatred. But one thing I've realized is that no one "deserves" happiness, but everyone is intrinsically valuable and has just as much of a right to pursue happiness as the next person. Hope that helps

i hate being a human.

I only hate myself when I feel depressed. Otherwise, I don't hate myself like I used to. I do hate my younger self though. I was such a twat when I was in my early teens.

I don't know why this made me think of this Dr Who quote, but it did.

I think you should be happy.

I strive to make myself happy every day.

I both hate myself and like myself. But the bad self-feelings drastically dwarf the good ones.

Its enough to say that if I wish I was born as somebody else that undoubtedly means that I hate myself.

I used to hate myself for being useless at so many things. Since receiving my diagnosis I have started to be kinder to myself. There are actually quite a lot of things I am good at and I now focus on those whilst accepting that there are some things I will never be able to do. However I no longer equate the latter with being useless. It's actually just a normal trait of human beings. No one can be good at everything.

My life is slowly getting better. It will always be a work in progress and I still suffer lapses into periods of self hate, usually when my depression gets the better of me, but I know those episodes will come to an end and I will make a bit more progress.

Be kinder to yourself. You do deserve to be happy.

I absolutely loathed myself until I finally found out about having Asperger's / ASD. I was so weird, so awkward and had so much difficulty with things NT people handle with ease. I felt like a failure and a waste of air and space. I was diagnosed several times as a child though the DSM kept changing the name. But my parents didn't tell me until I was 41. Even then it just slipped out in conversation a couple of months ago. I was gobsmacked.

But a curious thing happened. I stopped hating myself because I suddenly understood why I was the way I was and that it wasn't my fault. It's just the way my brain is wired. It makes no more sense for me to hate myself for autism than it would for cancer.

I wasted so much of my life hating myself and it was pointless. It wasn't something I chose or had any control over. I coped the best I could.

Now when that horrible little bullying voice in my head says something like, "You're so worthless. You should be able to handle this like a normal person," I tell that stupid voice to stuff a sock in it. I won't waste any more of the days left to me on self-hatred. It made me miserable and I don't want to be miserable. I wish I had known decades ago.

Thus I am getting my first tattoo soon to reinforce this message and celebrate not being like everyone else. It says, "Never Belong."

Likewise you deserve to be happy as much as anyone else. You didn't choose ASD. It's just something that happened to you. There are even silver linings to be found. I have some gifts that I suspect I wouldn't have if I was "normal" and you probably have them too. Be gentle with yourself. You have enough to deal with and don't need to let your own nasty little internal bully voice pile onto that. You don't have to be like everyone else. How boring would that be, anyway? Do things that make you happy. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small. Enjoy these things without guilt. Why? Because you deserve it. You've earned it. You have a right to it. You are no less than any other person.

It's not like I can't help myself I'm just here surviving because I can, I should put tons of efforts surviving this world with this tormenting disorder......