Social vs Task: Priority Differences Between Neurotypes

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An interesting article and explains a lot to me about how I/we function as a contrast to neurotypicals:

https://www.thearticulateautistic.com/s ... -a-theory/

I agree with what I read but wish they had explicitly allowed for folk who are not Autistic and not Neurotypical.

What are those folk? You mean ADHD or something?

I think the writer was just focusing on those two types, not the others.

"What does neurotypical, neurodivergent, and neurodiverse mean?"

Since my bride is ADHD I could probably stand a better understanding of her.

But, in reality, I think my Autism kicked in and said "HEY! Neurotypical is not a synonym for Not Autistic, I think they're being sloppy here!"

Oh thanks for that! I thought neurotypical just meant 'not autistic'.

Your bride! What a lovely description of her.

Remember that writer of the article is autistic so maybe he got too focused on what he wanted to say and didn't think of other angles

^Of course this idea also explains why NTs don't listen to the good advice and ideas autistic people give. They are so preoccupied with WHO is giving the advice that they don't listen to WHAT it is. They only take advice from people they know, and if they don't know us, they will be deaf to whatever we try and tell them.

I've experienced this soooooooo many times in my life, I know we all have and it's very frustrating isn't it. We can see when things are going to fall apart and we try to help people avoid that situation...but no one is listening...

She was my bride when we married and that's what I've called her since.

We married in 2000.

Me calling my bride "my bride" got mentioned in the "Psychological Evaluation" when I got my Autism diagnosis.

Why did they think it was significant you called her that?

I've been married longer than you

That rings true for me. As a young child I went to school to learn and was mortified that kids were talking...like did they not know we were there to learn? I had no idea what their problem was, but they stressed me out for a few years there. As a tween/teen, I got a handle on how much social I had to do in order to maintain a friend group and did that.

I was like that at all my jobs to. I was there to work and make money, not make friends. Not that I wasn't cordial... I'd be polite and engage up to a point... I know people appreciate that sort of thing. Still, my main focus was the job at hand and making money, not making friends.

I like that they established both sides simply are wired the way they are instead of trying to "fix" one or the other. I never like the idea of being "fixed" and I imagine NTs don't either.

I think this kind of thing sometimes causes conflict in the online fan discussion groups I'm a part of, as some of us are fans of movies, theme parks, etc., for the thing itself, while a lot of people probably just see those things more as background for hanging out with their friends, or trends to follow. Thus, when we have strong opinions about the plot of a movie or the theming of a theme park ride, they're like, "WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT THAT STUFF?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND!" Because to them, it makes little difference, as long as they're still hanging out with their friends or following the popular trend.

Your points make sense, Flea of the Chill and Vividgroovy.

I think NTs are 100% about the socialising and not the task or the plot or theme of things. I couldn't be like that, it's too tiring. Due to my job I can spot exactly what is wrong with a plot now and I'm sure it annoys people when I point it out But it's fun for me, if a bit frustrating because I could have made the plot so much better.

Another thing that was a revelation for me recently:

Most people focus on the outside world most of the time and only focus on their inside world when something major happens to them.

But I- and maybe all autistic people- focus on our inside world most of the time and only focus on the outside world when something major happens to us.

Does that ring true, my WP friends?

So as far as I can tell:

Autistic people take more notice of:
- Task
- What the advice is
- The interior world in their minds

NT people take more notice of:
- Socialising
- Who is giving the advice
- The outside world

This could explain why autists and NTs don't understand each other.

Yes. How good you look and how well you socialize makes a big difference in how accepting people are of the advice you give. I've seen it first hand by dressing poorly for decades. Now that I have a nice hourglass figure and nice wardrobe people treat me much differently. I can wear tight fitting XS clothes that show off my thin waist. Now people will ask for advice. I look like I have worthwhile advice to give.

It's funny, I've found the opposite. When I dressed badly with no idea what suited me, I was a lot more popular with other women. I suppose they didn't feel threatened. Now I look neat, pretty, stylish, I get so much antagonism from women! They generally dislike me at first sight.

Of course men were the other way round! When I looked a mess, I was invisible. When I learned how to dress better, suddenly they all wanted to talk to me. Which was embarrassing when it was my friends' husbands! Many men seem to feel threatened by me though.

Can't win, whatever I do

This also reminds me of how people online respond to film criticism. If I disagreed with a critic, it would be because I disagreed with what they said in their review. ("What the advice is.") Whereas many people seem to say, "The critics are wrong about this film because critics are always wrong." ("Who is giving the advice.")