Dynamics
There are two sets of dynamics at play and both are related to animal behavior, specifically tribe and herd dynamics. Refer to Lesson # 1 & 2. In the animal world Aspies are the Omega.
In humans, individuals transition through many herd structures. We begin in the structure of a family. Then we transition in schools into a boy tribe and a girl tribe. But as we reach puberty, the boy and girl tribes begin to dissolve away and are fused into an adult tribe in preparation for male/female pairing. At this point many Aspies are left behind in utter confusion, alone and unable to make the transition. We don’t know what we did wrong. We are told it is our fault, we are different, defective; we need to change, become more social. And this prolonged stress over many years takes its toll resulting in mental and physical problems.
Omega Aspie
In the animal world, an Omega is the lowest caste of the hierarchical society. An Omega is given two choices. Either an Omega can remain submissive to everyone and will commonly be used as a communal scapegoat; an outlet for the tribe’s frustration or the animal can leave the tribe.
In humans, an Omega can select the same two choices. He can remain an Omega Aspie or they can leave and become a Nonconformist Aspie. Those are the two types of adult Aspies.
In my opinion an Omega can try to fit in, to conform to societies norms. You can constantly look over your shoulder, be hypersensitive, watching for any signs of danger, always keep your senses in overdrive and live in a constant state of fear. But the prolonged stress will evolve into distress. Over time you will most likely wear yourself out and decay into mental problems.
Nonconformist Aspie
I was never going to accept becoming an Omega male, a scapegoat for my peer group. I resisted with all my strength and all my might and became stubborn as hell. Those attacks from bullies prevented me from progressing through the other stages of childhood development. I became like a turtle that was always ducking into my shell at the sign of danger. I was an introvert for life and happy being an introvert. I become a loner. Luckily for me, my torture only lasted 3 years in Junior High School and then the recovery process began.
The term “loner” only partially describes me. A better term is “I am a nonconformist”.
A nonconformist is a person who does not act in conformity with generally established ideas customs, and practices. We take a road less traveled. We are out-of-box thinkers. We dance to the beat of a different drummer.
Here are:
40 Quotes on Nonconformists
Would Einstein ever have developed the Theory of Relativity if he were a conformist? It is easy to conform, to follow the herd. But when you go against the grain, you are dealt great fury and only the most tenacious can walk against the wind in a great storm.
As I evolved into adulthood, I developed an INTJ Myers-Briggs personality. INTJs [Introversion, Intuition, Thinking, Judgment] are one of the rarest personality types, accounting for approximately 2.1 percent of the general population. Some INTJs describe themselves in the following way, “I felt very alone and ostracized as a child and youth because I didn't value the same things other kids did, didn't act the way they did, was consistently at the top of any scored intellectual activity (which always makes you less popular), didn't know how to gain the acceptance of my peers and didn't quite have a language to describe these feelings to my parents or others.” “We choose to be ourselves and not care what others think. Intellectually being an INTJ is fun as hell! When presented with relevant, challenging, and coherent problems/books/ideas then we go crazy theorizing! In some ways the INTJ is a mixture between a seasoned professor and a observant fun-loving child.” “Our logic is almost never wrong.” “If suddenly something captures our attention, we just have to know each and everything about it.” “We are self confident individuals who know our strengths and weaknesses.” “We usually see things from a million perspectives.” “We can stay alone for a loooong time: because there is a party going on inside our heads. A 100 voices talking, debating with each other about the best course of action around something.” “I rely on this instinct often and it serves me well. Usually my snap decisions and judgments are spot on and brutally harsh.” “I learn quickly, sometimes intuitively. I can ride a motorcycle, go to sleep, play a computer game or otherwise ‘turn off’ active thinking, and come back and sit down and know exactly how to solve extremely complex problems. It's not that I didn't think about it, but instead my mind thought about it for me.” “ I’m hardly ever bored, because there are worlds, inside worlds, inside worlds in my own head.”
Many of my positive traits sprang from being bullied. I can plant my feet firmly on the ground and withstand the fiercest of storms. I am tenacious. I never give up. I am fearless. I am a nonconformist. I do not conform to society but rather expect society to conform to me. And in my own way I am proud to be an Aspie.
So the choice is yours. As a nonconformist I trust in myself and my abilities more than the herd, and the tribe; more than society. I learned to use my great strengths to compensate for my weaknesses. I learned to recognize and take advantages of great opportunities when they appeared out of nowhere. I look forward and don’t obsess about the past. I have learned to leave the hate and rage far behind me and just move on.
[In reality, there are many shades of gray between Omega Aspies and Nonconformist Aspies. There is a spectrum across adult Aspies.]
29 Aug 2018, 2:07 pm
