The whole universe

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You ever sometimes feel like the whole universe and the answer to every question ever asked is swimming around inside your head? Even though thats completely impossible and there's no way i'd ever know even fraction of the answers to every question...?

But, sometimes, I get like a jolt of superficial energy from inside that feels like it contains every single emotion known to man and it's like a massive mind blow.

And I get excited.

And I get sad.

And I get nostalgic.

And it bugs me because there's nothing there for me to actually pinpoint and focus on.

And then about 10 mins later i've forgotten all about it.

I'd love to know what that is. And that other people get this too.

Strange ... that's almost word-for-word what a former classmate with BPD said during a manic phase about two days before he committed suicide.

There's just a vast, vast amount of knowledge of all types out there.

You will never learn everything there is to learn.

That's just reality.

The key, to me, is to try to be as good a person as you can be.

I hope there's no pattern to that >_>



I don't mean that I wana learn everything... it's just the feeling. It's what it feels like. Kind of like if you imagine what the energy of the entire universe feels like... and then ball it up inside a person. Like my veins are bouncing and vibrating like they wana escape... kinda. But my brain tries to grasp at the emotion, but there's too many and it cant.

Yep....the entire universe inside one person----pretty intense!

I don't believe you're on your way to an early demise. I just feel you're overwhelmed by things.

I get what you mean. I can sorta imagine it. A sudden rush of emotions coming from seemingly nowhere. But I don't experience it. Though....well I would experience something like that- a sudden rush of weird,disturbing, and contradictory,good and bad emotions, at the climactic moment of ….learning to pleasure myself back when I was circa 12 and 13. Am still alive today. It wasn't bad. Just part of transitioning from childhood to adolescenthood. Don't mean to get smutty about it. But that's the closest thing I have experienced to what you're talking about. Except for emotions being provoked by specific things like works of art, or the grand canyon, or films.

There was one other thing, not quite like that, but kinda like that, that I experienced that was drug induced.

As a grown up mom once gave me some old leftover prescription cold syrup she had for a cold. It helped with my cold symptoms ,but the syrup caused me to have this urge to cry...just for the fun of crying. Like you have the emotion, but there is nothing there to....emote about. Sounds like what you're taking about.

Sometimes you get that urge:to watch a tearjerking movie or something. But this was a heavy unshakable mood it put me in. Couldn't access a movie. Had to settle for a painting. Found a painting in a psychology book we had - painted by a Canadian mental patient that depicted his lifetime of abuse by folks in his life. I just stared at the painting and just cried for an hour..until my tear ducts couldn't function anymore. I know that it sounds crazy. Another person who took the same medicine told me that he dealt with it by listing to Patsy Cline records nonstop.

Every one of us contains the universe.
Ask anyone who's taken LSD.

I will never again trust an acid-head.

There is a lot of universe out there, but I remind myself that this is where
the chocolate sundae ice cream is.

Just for the record... I don't do drugs

Yeah, this lol. I sometimes get the urge to cry for absolutely no reason. I don't though, I find it kinda hard to actually cry unless I'm being told off or having to face confrontation. I really hate that.