How you tell your therapist you want to stop

Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

LaetiBlabla
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Dec 2015
Posts: 981
Location: Earth

19 Sep 2018, 9:18 am

I took another appointment with my therapist, but finally, I want to stop the "therapy".

Should I provide her with reasons? (I don't want to tell my reasons) If I don't tell the reasons, do you think she would normally ask?
Should I normally thank her for her assistance or help (I actually think she didn't)
Do you think it is fine to say it by text message or is it not polite?

I want to send her and text message to cancel the next meeting and tell her I want to stop. I don't know how to say that.

What would you say?

Thank you so much.



NorthWind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jun 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 577

19 Sep 2018, 10:02 am

You do not need to provide your reasons. She may or may not ask. If she asks and you don't want to answer, just politely tell her that you do not want to discuss your reasons or that you do not feel like this therapy is working for you. Therapists are used to not every patient wanting to continue the therapy and not every patient benefiting from the therapy. I'm fairly certain she had other patients who ended the therapy angrily shouting at her. You canceling an appointment will be nothing dramatic or unusual to her and it won't make her remember you in a particularly negative way.

You don't need to thank her if you absolutely don't want to. She was doing her job and she was being paid for it. You do not owe her anything. It's good to be polite anyway and there's nothing wrong with thanking her for trying if you feel that's the right thing to do.

Unless she has said otherwise text message is fine (some may require you to pay anyway if you cancel very shortly before the appointment or may prefer a phone-call if it's shortly before the appointment to make sure they get the message on time).

Just be factual but polite. You don't need a lot of detail. Just write a short message.



LaetiBlabla
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Dec 2015
Posts: 981
Location: Earth

19 Sep 2018, 12:42 pm

Thanks for your advice on this NorthWind.

Done, short and polite :)


She answered : "ok, thanks, wish you all the best as well,...". But she also says "I hope I did not say anything that hurt you last time "

I guess I may "not respond" ? or would she normally think this is impolite? or she could think I am angry against her? I have often been told that I am rough because I do not respond... Sometimes it upsets others when you do not respond. But I don't want to engage here in a conversation on why I stop.



Trogluddite
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Feb 2016
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,075
Location: Yorkshire, UK

19 Sep 2018, 3:54 pm

I don't think you need to say any more, if you don't want to. Most doctors and therapists have plenty of patients who simply miss their appointment without saying a word, so she'll appreciate that you haven't messed her around.


_________________
When you are fighting an invisible monster, first throw a bucket of paint over it.


BeaArthur
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 5,798

19 Sep 2018, 9:30 pm

I have had therapists (none recently, however) who insisted I come back for "one more session" so we could discuss the termination.

Being headstrong, I don't think I ever agreed to do so, and I think it is poor practice on the part of the therapist.


_________________
A finger in every pie.


LaetiBlabla
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Dec 2015
Posts: 981
Location: Earth

20 Sep 2018, 3:17 am

^^^maybe they want to understand and/or close any process they started, which could be good/understandable practice. If they insist, I hope they propose this last session for free then!

However in any case I wouldn't go because I don't want to give my reasons.



green0star
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,415
Location: blah

22 Sep 2018, 8:09 am

Just come out and tell her. That's not hard.