I don't understand how aspies/autistics have relationships?

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I see a lot of other aspies/autistics on here who have relationships and kids. How on earth do you cope with that? I get exhausted after being around people for 30 minutes.
I know that cliche of "everyone's different" applies, but it seems that the vast majority of people on the spectrum have social difficulties, so what makes you seek and commit to a relationship when a core aspect of a relationship is social interaction? I'm not being aggressive, this is just a genuine question of mine as a relationship would sap the life out of me pretty quickly.

Also, were you apprehensive about having children? I can barely care for myself most of the time, let alone a child. They require so much interaction and stimulation, something that I'm just not capable of. I'm trying to understand how other autistics somehow are?

This question has been on my mind quite a bit lately too; relationships get exhausting very quickly for me as well. There's too many people who have figured it out...there must be some solutions out there.

It ain't easy.

Relationships need constant involvement and a lot of patience.

But...as you can see, despite all the struggles, many Spectrum people do succeed in maintaining relationships.

It takes lots of compromises on the time part of both parties. Lots of “biting the bullet” and moving on from irritations.

My relationship worked pretty good when we both worked together to figure out reasonable compromises. Typically this was done through conversation.

I have an active social life and have made a lot of friends, but I think marriage will forever be an impossible dream for me. I can't imagine anybody wanting to stay with me after they really get to know me. They would look at me and say, "No, not good enough."

Honestly, I wish I could be around someone who was similar to me but loved me, is occasionally childish and continuously smile and knows how to cheer me up. Because I’d do the exact same thing for them. Respect, trust, turtles and pixie dust!

I really sense that you are more critical of yourself than what the actuality is, IstominFan.

I feel an objective look at yourself would yield different results than previously.

Humility is not good if it's accompanied by self-criticism.

The «easiest» way to start out is by basically finding a common-interest (activity-wise).
Then start doing said activity together, each and every single day, and let «nature» take its course.
Yes, this involves the initial «inter-action», but it can and has been done before.

Well there are other aspies in the world you know, you can date another aspie. Plus lots of introverted NTs need alone time as well and doesn't like socializing a lot.

I've never dated an aspie (I have aspie male friends) but my ex was a loner. And for me, when I love someone a lot, I WANT to spend as much time with them as possible though after a while it does get intense and I need my own time or else my frustration can get so high I push the person away and lose my respect for them if I feel they don't respect my boundries.

My aspie male friends always respect my boundries because they feel the same way. If I need to be alone for a certain amount of time or don't talk to them they won't question it because they are the same way. Because of that I think a relationship between two aspies would be very good but a relationship between an NT and an aspie can also work really well. In a relationship you should have your own time as well anyway and wether you spend that time with all your friends or by yourself doesn't really matter as long as you're happy.

Always date someone whom you connect with on a deeper level. Even my ex that it worked the best with it didn't work out with because we were too different on a deeper level and therefore kept misunderstanding and hurting each other without intending to - we had common interests and we had fun but that's not enough. As long as you find someone who understands you for real it works out. Then your boundries will be respected, you will feel understood and you won't feel pressured in the relationship.

I'm in a relationship. I live with my partner. I feel having a partner is easy and requires no exhaustion or difficulties.
But working, say, in a busy store interacting with customers all day will not only be exhausting for me, but also daunting.

I don't know why being in a romantic relationship is easy for me. I only have mild ASD, so some of my social skills are natural maybe.

My response to that would be; what is the point? If it such an effort, why bother? The people around me in relationships all seem to have so many problems within the relationship. I'm starting to believe people just enter relationships because it's just 'what you do'.

People get into relationships, sometimes, for the reason stated above. True.

You don't have to get in a relationship if you don't desire it.

You're right. If you don't have the inclination, than why "force it"?

Absolutely. Which is why it baffles me when people do start relationships purely out of the desire to be conventional, which I suspect is the case for a lot of people I've known. Why anyone would do that is beyond me.

I don't desire a relationship because I know i'm not capable of one. It's kind of like wanting a Lamborghini but knowing you can't afford one, so the desire really isn't there. It used to be when I was younger though, back when I was masking 24/7.

Maybe you feel you're not "ready."

But I sense that if you feel like you've met the "right" person, that you might change your mind.

If you met the "right" person, then you might feel like putting in the effort is worth it.

Superaliengirl makes a good point about introverted NTs, some who may need more alone time that a typical NT.

While there may be exceptions to every rule, I believe strongly that a typical NT person would NOT be compatible with a typical Aspie and would be very unhappy being in a relationship with a typical Aspie. Frankly I just don't see that happening. Before anyone says "All Aspies are unique", I'll explain what I mean by "typical" in both cases:

"Typical NT": would be a person that values friendships and feels a very strong desire to not only maintain friendships, but conversely would feel anxiety and dread and feel compelled to seek medical help for the issue they'd consider even pathological. They would expect that their partner/spouse would share and be be as adept at maintaining friendships as they would. A typical NT would also desire participating in any number of public activities unhindered and not limited by sensory issues. A typical NT would expect a regular amount of "face time" with their partner/spouse.

"Typical Aspie": Would have more difficulty socially, would need more alone time and would have sensory issues.

A typical NT woman would never be in a relationship with me. We'd be wholly incompatible. She would feel woefully unfulfilled.

My wife of 17 years is an introverted NT. Her social anxiety is such that she and are are equal in our lack of friends (but for different reasons). She was single for a long time before we married and was accustomed to having a lot of alone time and needing it. Unlike me, she does desire friendship with others and feels anxiety from time to time in her lack of friends. All in all, we're compatible with needing our alone time. There's no way our relationship would work otherwise. No way.