Barking Mad at Barking Dogs

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We had our New Year's Eve family get-together at my sister's place. All of my nieces and nephews as well as my daughter were there and it was great to see all those precious and beautiful little souls frolicking together for that little bit of time.

However, my sister has a new dog in the house (had it about 6 months now) and it was only natural that it would get excited around all those active children.

So here's my predicament: that dog has a bark that is both boisterous and raspy, and having that echoing off the walls and ceiling in its own accoustic enhancement -well I physically feel it as well as hear it obviously too loud. The sensation of enduring that dog's barking inside the house -for me it's like having two red-hot screwdrivers jabbed into my ears. My response to that is the same as for somebody who comes up behind me by surprise and tickles my ribs. I just want to spin around and smack the offender

I know I'm not the only Aspie who physically feels dog's barks this way. My concern is how it will affect my relationship with my sister and the rest of my family in the future. I wish I could be more accommodating to them and the dog is usually pretty quiet and everything else is -but that barking... aaaaaaaaaarrrrgghhhh

If any of you experience the same with noisy dogs and/or have any ways of dealing with the same, I'm open to hearing about it.

Training the dog works really well.

My dogs are trained to ring a bell to go out and in.
If they bark otherwise, I yell quiet once. Usually they stop. If not I yell jail and either they run into the bathroom or I put them there for a time out. It took a while to teach them "Quiet" and the bell trick.

Sometimes I do wonder if they ring the bell just to see us run to the door.

While training, try noise reducing ear plugs. You can still have conversations but they take the edge off.

No, you absolutely are not the only one. Barking dogs is one of the things that makes my nervous system go craziest. I have 2 dogs, and IMO their best attribute is they never bark. And this is the first place I've ever lived where there aren't dogs barking constantly. I'm the aspie who calls animal control over constantly barking dogs, cuz I figure they're being neglected and because their ! !! !! ! owners need to be more sensitive to others.

Anyway, does you sis know you're AS? If so, you could explain it to her. Also, the dog may grow out if it if he's still a puppy. Kids can really get dogs excited. Sounds like a bad combo: inside, kids plus dog..l Perhaps next time you could get together with fewer of those elements. Say your daughter and their dog outside. Or some variation thereof.

aylissa,

Yes, my sis knows about it. I relayed the news to all of my extended family when my Dx results came out. OTOH, it's not everybody in the clan that has taken the time to be more informed about AS and it's not everybody that understands it that well. We'll have to give them some time and learn as we go along.

I think her dog is exceptionally intelligent and could be trained to tone down on the barking like julieme says. Because it is her dog and not mine, she will have to take the commitment.

I haven't had the chance to address the issue effectively in my defense. It can and does take me a few days to think up what I'm going to say in a way that won't make too many enemies.

Imagine heating those two screwdrivers on your BBQ, then ramming them into each ear and being able to tell them tactfully how it feels. Well... that's what that dog's bark is like. -Or I could stick those earplugs in and be all the more hearing-impaired for the socializing and mingling

btw...

I got this really neat Chinese cook book this Xmas. Now, I'm going to wok my neighbor's dog

dogs barking only annoys me some of the time. Like when a dog is barking plainly TOO much, then I start to get edgy and angry. Some dogs sit there all day virtually barking about nothing in particular.

[quote = Steve_Cory dogs barking only annoys me some of the time. Like when a dog is barking plainly TOO much, then I start to get edgy and angry. Some dogs sit there all day virtually barking about nothing in particular. /quote]

Steve,

That sounds just like the dog I want to wok

My inlaws have a Basset hound that barks continuously and insists on sniffing and licking everyone constantly. My Aspie daughter who is sensitive to sounds and being wet hates going to their house (obviously). They know about her sensitivities but feel it would "be mean to the dog" to put her up when we come over.

The people who live behind me have a dog that barks all the time in random patterns. He'll go on for a while, then just when you think he's stopped he starts up again. But I realized something over New Years eve. As the whole neighborhood was setting off their thermonuclear fireworks displays, I realized I could launch an artillery barrage on someone and no one would notice. So they certainly wouldn't notice the a little .22 caliber POP in the night. Come 4th of July, warm up the wok Papillon. Here doggie doggie doggie

LOL 06xrs

I'll even invite the owner(s) over and cheer them up with some awesome Chinese cooking

While its the dog that is barking, it almost always the owner's failure to properly care for their dog that encourages them to bark in excess Dogs that are stressed or bored bark the way Aspie stim. Sometimes dogs arelonely or lack interaction and so they are encouraged to bark because it gets the attention of people.

Make your sister watch the Dog Whisperer on the National Geographic Channel. That should clue her in on a few things about why dogs do the annoying things they do (and why it's always the owner's fault).

My dog is trained pretty well, and almost never barks. Several naihbor dogs barks constantly, speccialy when somebody is passing by, which is frequent. My aunt and I have been sort of training a dog we dogsit, and he's behavior has improved a lot, but without the re-inforcment at home, he'll never stay trained. He's extremly hyper and loud and obnoxious. Barking itself dosn't bother me, but, this dogs bark has just the right pitch to drive me crazy.

Cade and Jane,

Thank-you for raising these very valid points about adopting dogs and making the commitment to their care and their upbringing. You are both absolutely right about it being the owners' fault in that almost all noisy dogs I've know of are (1) always kept tied by the owner and left to howl at the sky while mostly ignored except for the daily feeding and watering and (2) most of these owners do not make the time needed to raise their 4-legged family members. I think every dog owner should be required to follow these steps if they wish to adopt dogs.

For a minor outlay of some money, a dog owner can go and take up an obedience training course for the puppy and save a lot of trouble at the personal level as well as all that acrimony from annoyed neighbors.

I have known of well-trained dogs that were just as well behaved -or sometimes better than a lot of 2-legged critters I know of. That being said, I do admire and respect the owners that do take that commitment. OTOH, there are too many dog owners who don't see it that way and it is they who shouldn't be allowed to have them.

Although there is no comparison to raising children, raising dogs is similar in some ways and the onus is on their owners for the care and training. In many of the more industrialized countries around, the Children's Aid Society (or similar body) take away the children from parents who are found to be unfit. The same should be for irresponsible dog owners.

[quote="06xrs"]My inlaws have a Basset hound that barks continuously and insists on sniffing and licking everyone constantly. My Aspie daughter who is sensitive to sounds and being wet hates going to their house (obviously). They know about her sensitivities but feel it would "be mean to the dog" to put her up when we come over.


You got to remember that basset hounds are pack animals. Smell are how most canine communicate. Sniffing and licking are their way of bringing a new member into the pack.

Always remember: you don't own a basset hound, they own YOU.

I notice no one has spoke of a Ultrasonic Repeller that will make rat dog bastards shut the hell up for good
I bought 2 of them and my neighbors dogs don't have a chance anymore.

I've had issues with dogs barking all my life and I hate the sound of the bull s**t repetition of barking and you would think the dumb ass neighbor would know better

Our dog barks when excited and it's far too jarring for me. Occasionally he'll make a low volume but high pitched wine that irritates the hell out of me too. If he doesn't stop he goes for a nap.

I will second the ear plug suggestion. If you're questioned on it, you can simply say the dog's bark is too jarring for you. If they don't like your earplugs, they can put the dog away, outside, etc while you're visiting.

I wear foam earplugs when my sister, husband and three nieces visit. My nieces are young and one has ASD. When grownups talk, all three girls instantly interrupt by yelling, sometimes by literally saying "ya, ya, ya!! !!" They think it's funny or sometimes they don't even know they're doing it it happens so often. It's massive sensory overload for me and if I don't wear the earplugs I shut down. It irritates my sister, but I will remove them when she teaches her kids to behave properly....

When you say "it irritates my sister" really means your sister doesn't have a clue after all these years your having aspergers

My wife and I are at are wits end on my many irritations and threaten me with divorce, so go ahead, so I can have some peace and quite for once and for all.