graceksjp wrote:
At the sake of sounding really stupid, what does demisexual mean? Or aromantic? Does that mean like you don't want to be in love with someone? That sounds....lonely (no offense). If you're in a loving relationship isn't sex like the point? Or do both of you have to not want sex.. And wait what exactly entails not wanting sex? Because the definition of sexual intercourse is like um...yeah, ya know..(good lord I sound like Im twelve) but isnt there technically...other stuff? Or is it more everything's-a-no-go even-just-kissing. Cause I was under the impression that kissing usually led to something else. I mean the few times Ive let guys kiss me, they get real handsy real fast.
(also how exactly do you know if ur asexual....cause Im putting myself under serious debate)
#that.might.be.the.most.awkward.thing.ive.ever.written.in.my.life
Conner already explained demisexual well in his post above.
Aven wiki defines aromantic very well hereQuote:
An aromantic is a person who experiences little or no romantic attraction to others. Where romantic people have an emotional need to be with another person in a romantic relationship, aromantics are often satisfied with friendships and other non-romantic relationships. What distinguishes romantic relationships from a non-romantic relationships can vary diversely, but often includes physical connection (holding hands, cuddling, etc.) The aromantic attribute is usually considered to be innate and not a personal choice, just as the lack of sexual attraction is innate to asexuals. It is important to note that aromantics do not lack emotional/personal connection, but simply have no instinctual need to develop connections of a romantic nature. Aromantics can have needs for just as much empathetic support as romantics, but these needs can be fulfilled in a platonic way.
It is possible for an aromantic individual to be involved in, and enjoy, a devoted relationship with another person, but these relations are often closer friendships, naturally reflecting the closeness of the two individuals and not a purposely initiated monogamous separation as is often found in romantic couples.
I am close to aromantic, but not quite there.
I'm not interested in relationships per se. While other people might want a boy/girlfriend, I have never wanted a boyfriend, never been on the lookout for someone. I am only interested in having a boyfriend when I'm into a specific guy. Maybe that makes me a bit demiromantic?
When I crush, I have all that giddy, bubbly feeling and think of him constantly. But I neither think of nor want to do anything physical with him, not sex, not kissing, no groping. Clothes on at all times. No showering together. (Nor do I want any of that with anyone, ever.)
The only type of physical things I enjoy, are completely non-sexual ones, like being gently stroked and only on non-sexual parts of me, and that is the only way I will touch anyone else.
The starting with something innocent and trying to work up to going "further", just makes me really annoyed, angry actually, and will not go down well. I'm not interested in that, and I don't have any drive for it, and that's not a problem.
I don't know why you'd think being aromantic is lonely. In all my life I have been in one relationship (LDR, lasted a few months). I have never felt lonely as a result.
There are other forms of love than romantic love.
Sex isn't the point, or even
a point, for me. The point is an emotional connection, someone to be mentally intimate with, talk with, love, rely on, do every day stuff like cook together, eat together, do parallel activities with, share interests, etc.
I once read about companionable love, described as a very close friendship, completely platonic, and that appealed to me.
How do I know I am asexual? I am 41 and have never taken any interest whatsoever in sex. I have no sex drive, I never want to, or feel like it, have no such fantasies. Unless it comes up as a topic I don't think about it at all.
When I am reminded of it, I find the idea and the reality of it revolting. Erotic scenes in books and movies make me uncomfortable. I look away from the TV, or skim through those parts of the book when such scenes pop up. Tight or otherwise revealing clothes disgust me, and I look elsewhere. I want it all left to the imagination (and then not use the imagination).
Some asexuals are in relationships and do the act for their love of their partner. I have no idea how common that is.
I could only be with someone who shares the asexuality or otherwise is okay with it..
I'm really tired, so I hope this makes sense and makes it easier to understand, graceksjp.