Is Aspergers a lifelong thing?

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If somebody gets diagnosed as a kid, will they inevitably deal with it for the rest of their lives or can you truly "grow out of it"? I was diagnosed when I was in 4th grade which is apparently rare for a girl? Anyways I was really embarrassed about it for the longest time and whenever I fill out forums I never put that I have anything even though I really probably should have. I really convinced myself that I didn't have it and it was just a misdiagnosis. Now I am almost 19, didn't finish high school (I just had so much difficulty) and lately, I've realized yeah, I show textbook signs of Aspergers. I can't talk to people, It physically hurts to look people in the eye, I'm extremely socially awkward and I've never even had a job because I think they can tell in the interview stage. I couldn't even get a job at McDonald's, for real. I just don't want to accept that I probably have Aspergers, it wasn't a misdiagnosis. I'm just so embarrassed about it and I don't even know why. So I guess I'm gonna have to deal with this forever? Is that how it is? You can't "grow out of it" (even though I'm an adult already...?)

I don’t think a developmental or neurological issue can be ‘corrected’

For me tht means I will always seem like I’m 10 years old (the way I am socially esp) despite having intellect (somewhat) and capacity to do adult things like pay bills.

All of the problems that autism come with are always there I learned to adapt it and change my behaviour/thought patterns by reading, learning from experience, and growing like anyone else, but the way I am is still the same

Now curing bully sociopathic NT’s of unnecessary cruelty and superficial judgements-
THAT wd be a good thing!

Yes and/or no. It depends on the problems and also on you.
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_________________
I am as I am. Life has to be an adventure!

Autism is something that never goes away. You can cope with it or mask it, but that's about it. Really the best thing for someone at your stage to do is accept it. Realize that you're different and that it's totally OK. Like you might have "special interests", topics, people and things you tend to near obsess over. And that's fine. It means that you're a lot better at a few things. Trust me, I'm pretty much in your position. I'm nearly 19 myself and while I wasn't diagnosed during 4th grade(I was only diagnosed in July) I did start to show signs back then. It took me about three months to really start looking into it and since then it's been great. Accepting yourself, no matter who you are is really important. I feel that it's especially important for people on the spectrum. You have nothing to be embarrassed about either.

Autistics cant grow out of it but some issues can get better as they age where as others may get worse. Some of it depends on life circumstances & environmental factors. People can learn to cope better as they get older but part of learning to cope better is accepting that they're on the spectrum & that they need to try to learn to grow. Researching & learning about autism while analyzing themselves & their issues can help alot with that.

"Growing out of it" may involve little more than developing ways to effectively cope with sensory issues and social situations while still having an autism spectrum disorder.

Yes it's life long.

However, I do think that over the years we can develop techniques for coping with it and learn to interact with the world around us.

When I was 19 i couldn't get a job either. I did havd good grades, but my social skills were not good enough. I couldn't even get a job on a supermarket checkout.

I took a cleaning job because it meant no interaction with people. That worked for me for a year or so.

I was interviewed by a fellow quirky person who knew I was different and liked that about me. That job was stressful. I had a lot of learning to do on that job. But it gave me experience dealing with customers and as I've got older things are less new to me and I'm able to deal with people a lot better.

There's no way I could work in an office full of NT women. Been there, done that, total disaster. I cant blend in with that type.

I don't know if I'm completely normal now, probably not, or whether I've just found a niche of quirky people to hang out with and work with.

I know that I am different from others and that I am very late in accomplishing things other people have been doing for years. I have friends now and a variety of social outlets, but I know I am not at the same level as my friends in terms of relationships and full independence. I don't know if I will ever reach my goal of becoming fully independent, dating and marriage. I have done some things NTs haven't done, but those are things that really don't matter.

I saw the title of an article in the Toastmaster magazine about the "Imposter Syndrome," a feeling you don't really belong. While I do have a sense of belonging now to various organizations (Toastmasters, church activities and tennis), I know I am way behind in life experience compared to others. I am working toward my Distinguished award in Toastmasters, have friends at church and improving my performance and stamina in tennis, but everyone else is far ahead of me in life experience. The goals I have, the everyday things others have been doing for years, decades even, may be out of reach for me. I will keep trying and won't give up. Someday, maybe things will click and I will finally get it together. I'm hoping it can come together for me by the time I'm 60. That would be a glorious cause for celebration.

Imagine if Asperger's was the only thing one had to think about (healthwise) throughout life?

It's sometimes painted as something of tragic proportions. I don't agree that it's tragic.

It's eminently "treatable" (It's debatable whether it's something that must be "treated" at all).

I feel like Asperger's is something one adjusts to.

There are some "life experiences" which I'm glad I've never experienced.....

Asperger's alone, while problematic, wouldn't be so bad if one didn't have co-existing health problems, such as anxiety, depression or seizures. Being quirky, but fully healthy, wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Yep.....I'd have to agree with what you say.

I wish people would just accept that they might be "different," and not have so much anxiety about having to be a "social butterfly" or get it "exactly right" socially.

Hurtloam I admire the fact that you persisted and worked at the level you could. I was an impossible person fr anythinh including school, being around ppl longer than 15 min, etc- could not handle it which NT or non ASD ppl can never understand how deeply impossible and stressful that can be fr us (i cd be what i was raised to do ie be a wife n mom eg cooking etc but in that u are not around more than a few ppl)

and i want to believe now I am developed more mentally and socially tht i can hold down a proper job and have a real life not a closed timid loner hermit one like i have always had

I do know tht scientists have found 100s of genetic markers fr ASd (varying levels) and so tht means the causes of ASD can be frm any one of those hundreds of reasons.

No wonder we are on a spectrum.

And our brains develop in different areas (eg temporal lobe is different, stress areas in brain are more enlarged than normal but shrink a bit when we are adults) and totally different times
From wht is normal or expected
Eg i cd grasp certain advanced intellectual concepts at a young age n ‘hyperlexia’ (more advanced in reading n writing)
but socially, organizational skills, even hygiene skills, gross motor skilss etc was far behind my peers (EG i constantly stumbled and fell a lot until a few yrs ago)
(our timeline of development is completely unique)


I know looking back tht when i was 20 i was at the level of maybe a 6 yr old in terms of social skills and self-regulation/exec functioning was probably abt 10 yrs old level max

Now i think i have advanced in those domains and can handle more than i ever thought possible


Still it is a daily struggle n burnout and shutdown n meltdown are all very real dangers but thank goodness it is not as bad as it was just 2 yrs ago.

I think some Aspies can create an environment around them that is less stressful.

The ideal case would be making money off a special interest, like carving wooden ducks. You may be able to do it so well that tourists would pay good money for what you do. And, if there was enough demand for what you do, you could do it on your terms.

Yes. Of course you can learn social skills with enough practice and maybe get yourself to be more social as many aspies are introverted but things such as sensory problems are for life I think, and feeling tired from social interaction in a way that NTs do not. We're just wired differently as they say. I was diagnosed as an adult but my friends who were diagnosed as kids and whom have had plenty of time to decrease aspergers "symptoms" are still the same as they were then even if they've learned to be more social and found ways to cope with different things.

Very true, kraftiekortie. I am very much afraid of failure and doing the wrong thing. Only success can help me move forward. Failure will only put my goals further on hold, or may demolish my chances altogether. That seems sad, but really, it keeps me on track.