Did anyone fancy the person who assessed them, helps them?

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So I literally just had my assessment. I've known for ages but it was really weird actually having someone say "here's all the reasons you're autistic and I'm diagnosing you" but that's not really why I'm here.

The thing is, I REALLY fancied him. Not because he was like super hot, that would be normal, he was average I suppose.

But he was REALLY NICE, like so kind and calm and not judgy or fake (I had a councillor once but her fake "understanding" drove me mental)

So I just wanted to ask if that was a normal response in the situation? Like did anyone else really connect with the person they talk to all this about?

I don't really talk about this to anyone, even with the diagnosis everyone just ignored it and pretended it's non-issue.

It just felt really good to be able to talk to someone without worrying.

Also, Hi!

You were very fortunate to have an assessment from such a kind person. I would be willing to be assessed if the person were kind and fair, not judgmental and not pessimistic about my chances in life.

I was working with an organization to help me find a job. The woman who was working with me was really nice & relatable even thou she was older than me. I wouldn't say I had a strong crush or anything but I realized I was starting to have one & I posted about it on a forum I went to then.

That's probably common. Patients getting smitten with their therapists.

Way back when I was 18 I was in group therapy. The group met once a week. The shrink running it was a knockout blonde in her thirties, and the other two members were two girls my own age (one red head and one brunette). I lusted for all three of them (would have orgy fantasies about them), and also developed a serious crush on the dark haired girl. Later, after the group disbanded, in college I actually crossed paths with the dark haired girl because we had a common friend, and got to hang with her and her friends a few times. Both nothing else happened, and we really didn't have much in common, and we lost contact.

I don't know if I got lucky or that's just how they all are.
I was really nervous beforehand thinking I was going to be ridiculed and judged "So why do you think you're autistic" kind of thing.
But it was really good.
Even like the letter they sent had maps and explanations about where to park, that it was free, where to go. Reiterating where to go.
When I got there there was loads of signs did you couldn't get lost, signs on the door how to get it.
The receptionist explained where the toilets and refreshments were and where to sit and that he'd come out.
If I could live there I would!

Getting lost would be a major fear of mine. Good to know everything was spelled out carefully.

Sure it happens. We are looking for someone who's kind and "understands" us, it'll cause attraction. It's human nature

If you feel that you can trust them, that's great as it is perhaps the biggest requirement you need in a therapist. If you feel the attraction is interfering with your treatment, that's when it becomes an issue. If it does become an issue, it would be a poor decision to continue. Might seem a bit harsh, but your goal is you.

If I were getting assessed, I would look for someone who is patient and doesn't rush me or say, "Well, you're just no good at that, are you?" if the task is taking longer than they expect. I know these tests are timed, but that's not an excuse to treat somebody like that.

Ididnt have any timed test, it was just like an interview, don't know if it's different in your country, I'm in the UK. I think the kids ones are more tests but as adults we recognise a lot of our own behaviours. He just asked me about how I feel about certain things and how I react.
He let me take as long as I needed to answer ( I stammer and take a while to process speech and produce my own thoughts).
I imagine any good place would be the same, he clearly knew how best to communicate with an autistic person and was clearly qualified. Maybe check reviews of clinics before booking in? I don't know how your medical system works, my NHS gp referred me to the NHS adults autistic clinic

When i had my dyslexia assessment that were a lot of tests and they were a bit more, well let's stop this now.
Have you had any other type of assessment?

Yeah I think you're right, there are so few people that don't make me panicky, I do tent to gravitate to those that don't!

The therapist who diagnosed me gave me permission not to make eye contact, and to sit on the floor if I wished.
At that point I experienced a (platonic kind of) love for him because no one had ever shown me such consideration before.
That I didn't have to make eye contact was such an enormous relief to me that the session soon turned into a crying session.

I had a really good doctor who diagnosed me as a kid and I felt very close to her because she helped me alot. But once I turned 14 and she quit being my doctor every other doctor I have seen about my Aspergers sucked. I've seen so many different doctors that I don't even bother to remember their names.

And then there's my mom who likes to play doctor with everybody's conditions and she always brags about being such an expert on Autism because she has children with Aspergers but there are times I feel like she really doesn't understand my condition at all. And she basically uses my condition as an excuse to prevent me from being able to grow and live my own life.

That's lovely what age were you diagnosed?
I nearly cried after he said I was autistic then started talking about what I'm good at and that I'm "designed for that" like the idea that this is a good thing rather than just being s**t at loads of stuff!
It's such an emotional thing that no one else seems to understand

That sucks! Was it your age or did she change work?
I don't think anybody can understand without having it or (like the doctor) have an awful lot of education on it.
At least she tries? Is it that she makes too many exceptions for things that are hard?
My partners cousin has always had his autism as an excuse for not doing much "I'm autistic I can't be ontime" (2hrs late for Christmas dinner at 2.30pm!). I do think its massively held him back, more than actually having autism has!

I used to see her at a Pediatric Clinic but I think the real reason was because she moved to a different city.

I wish I could do more with my life but it's really my mom who tells me that I can't do anything because I have Aspergers and she always tears my self esteem down.

I've been told that I can never get a job because it would ruin my disabilty benefits (she's my payee btw) and she's been promising for years that she would help me find work through Vocational Rehab but I believe it's an empty promise that she has no intention of keeping.

She has told me that I will never learn to drive and she does not even bother to teach me or let anyone else teach me. She has been promising for years to teach me how to use the city bus but again I think that's just another one of her empty promises that she has no intention of ever keeping. Besides when we move back home there won't be any buses for me to use so I'm really going to be stuck without transportation.

What really angers me about the way she does this is that I don't think she considers for a moment what is going to actually happen to me once she passes away. She tells me my brother and sister will look after me but what if they decide they don't want to because I'm just too much of a burden? My mom has not prepared me for life and once she's gone I think I am going to be screwed. I might end up living as a homeless man who can't even use his own disability benefits because he has to have a payee.

Where do you live TW1ZTY ? Could you find any local groups to join? Just a non-standard group of people around your age who are autistic. You could learn together, going into town and stuff. You'll feel safer in a group and if you don't know where to go there's a chance someone else remembers