Innocence, honesty and Aspergers

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Hi,

First things first, I apologize for my bad English.

I am a 27 years old male from Paris, France. I have been diagnosed with Aspergers.

I always felt different. I was a very shy kid, afraid to go to nursery school.

I was born in a very strict family, my mother is French literature teacher and my father is very traditional (Judaism).

Nowadays, I still feel my (strong) difference, I am still afraid of a lot of things. I may appear as a normal guy, but I am afraid of certain things that I found bad. For example, smoking, going to nightclubs, to casinos, driving, taking drugs. I really don't understand how people can do these things, these things make you look so not innocent. When I see my friends smoking or driving I am shocked!

I was a very good kid from a very strict family so you may understand why I feel that way. But my two little sisters were raised in the same family and they smoke, drive, love nightclubs... We are 3 in the family and I am the only one with Aspergers, my sisters have very high IQ (above 150 at WAIS). They were not as good as I was at school, they were not as innocent and honest as I am. I was a very good student because I was very good and obedient kid from a very strict and traditional/puritan family. But my sisters were raised the same way by the same parents.

It's not even regarding those things, it's also the way they think. They are calculating, manipulating persons whereas I am really honest and gullible. It's like even the way they think is less innocent. I am unable to lie, to cheat (even to break with my girlfriend since I am too much attached to her), to manipulate. I am a straight-forward person.

My question is: why am I so honest and innocent and not my sisters? Do you think it's related to Aspergers? Do you feel the way I do regarding the things I listed?

Thanks.

Ps: my topic is related to these two topics: "Why Do People Equate Autism With Innocence?" and "Aspergers And Innocence, Naivete, Gullibility, Etc".

Pps: I was not diagnosed with ADHD but I think I have this disorder. Maybe that's why I am less calculating and manipulating.

I don't like smoking. I don't like nightclubs. I don't like drugs. I don't like drinking alcohol. I do howl like a wolf in the New York City subway, though.

I've been to Paris once. I stayed near the Gare De Nord. It was sort of a rough area.

What part of Paris do you live in?

Being overly open, honest, and naive is related to Asperger's. I would love to figure out why.

In the 16th arrondissement, a nice neighboorhood... not like Gare du Nord



So it's related to Asperger's... Good news... I would too love to figure out why.

Bonjour mon ami!

I'm from Canada and most kids growing up are taught French and although I've forgotten most of it I've still retained some of the phrases.

Welcome to Wrong Planet and I'm glad you're here!

To answer your question, yes, honesty and that childlike innocence are very Autistic traits that you'll find in most Aspies (Asperger's Syndrome people). Most people like us are capable of lying but don't really employ it for a variety of reasons. For myself, because I have so much information in my head, lying seems to be like more work or something and it's simply easier for me to blurt out the truth because I have so much of it. Most high-functioning Autistics like me and you, have this trait. We tend to have the reputation of being motor-mouths. Aspies are one of the segments of Autistics that are able to speak and speak we can! Sometimes a little too much...

Innocence is something else that you'll find very common with ASDs. For most of us we feel like our emotional maturity is stuck or very much stunted at a eight or nine year old level. We're not entirely sure why this is but the fact is we are mentally disabled and that is simply part and parcel of the deal. Because most children are innocent by nature you will find that we are much the same.

Those are both very common traits amongst people like us and if you stick around this forum you will find that you're not alone and there are many traits that you will share with us.

I hope you stick around!

Yes, aspies tend toward honesty and rigid values. When I was very young, I got in a lot of unexpected trouble until I heard the Golden Rule. Then, I assumed almost everyone was doing their best to follow it. I thought the world was far too confusing for anyone to risk confusing the issue with lies. I was astounded the first time I heard friends discussing how to sneak backstage.

Many jobs are partly paid with an opportunity to steal, one way or another, and there is general agreement about how much to take. Psychopaths try to grab it all, and Aspies don't collect their share.

I am wondering why you included "driving" on your list of sins, but not "being driven?"

Thanks a lot for your kind answer my friend!

I feel the same, I speak too much aha!

What do you feel about the list I wrote in my first message?

It's nice to know I am not the only one.

Paris is great. You only have to take the RER C line to get to Versailles.

I actually live near a station alongside the RER C

Yep. That's a nice part of Paris.

One of my favorite parts of Paris is the Ile Saint-Louis.

I think it's related to poor theory of mind.
If you don't imagine other people thinking differently than you, then you become too trusting, naive and gullible in the way you relate to people.
That sort of thing has led me to be taken advantage of and called things like 'not playing with a full deck'.
I don't like things like bars and drugs.

I personally think it's to do with truth. Truth tends to be really,really important to autistic people. I know it is to me. The only times I fight with people is when they are wrong and I try to explain to them why they are wrong and provide references that prove they are wrong and they still wont accept they are wrong. If someone shows me evidence of why something I believe is wrong I will change my opinion. Why cant they?
I watched a youtube talk by an autistic psychologist and he talked about 'big T truth' and how important it is to people like us. I'm definately a 'big T truth' person.
Unfortunately people who are not like us tend not to be 'big T truth' people. They lie, cheat and break rules. We don't expect that because it doesn't occur to us to act that way. That's why we are considered innocent and gullible. At least that's my take on it. If I am wrong and anyone can supply credible reference material, I will change my mind

Yes, truth is really important.
And what is not true is not important because it is not real.
Only things that are real can possibly be interesting.
People cheat and break rules to manipulate. manipulating is a social thing.
Autistic people are interested in facts.

But also poor theory of mind can lead to being gullible and that can be a problem.
edit: "We don't expect that because it doesn't occur to us to act that way."
Well, this is about the same thing.

Unfortunately, that which is not true but still believed can be extremely dangerous. After being blindsided several times, I try to take fools more seriously.

Unfortunately, that which is not true but still believed can be extremely dangerous. After being blindsided several times, I try to take fools more seriously.