Just Diagnosed and confused

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I was just diagnosed with Autism and now feel at a loss of what to do now. I still have to tell my family, but I'm not sure how they will react. It's nice to know that a lot of the things I do and how I act are normal for me, like my inability to communicate with people and make friends. Over sensitivity and the severe pains that I'm so familiar with now I've actually come to expect them. I also have IBS which explains some of the pains but the rest are anxiety so I'm told. I'm not sure if this is a good tip or not, but when my anxiety is bad I usually put on headphones and drown out the world and my problems with music or sounds like the ocean. It's a good coping technique, I thought I would share it here as it helps me a lot and might help some members here. I'm new to the Autistic world but I'm hoping I can get some answers and help now. I covered a big milestone today when I got my diagnosis but I'm not sure where to go from here? It's like I've learnt so much but at the same time I'm confused and don't know what's happening or what Autism actually is.

Welcome to Wrong Planet and congratulations on passing the diagnosis milestone and finding a helpful coping technique.

Here are links that give basic autism information. You do not need to have all the traits to be autistic. Autistic people are a diverse group.

What Does Autism Spectrum Disorder Look Like in Adults?

Asperger and Autism Spectrum: Women and Girls

Anxiety and noise sensitivities are common amoung autistic people.

Congratulations on learning something new about yourself!

I'm assuming your parents (or some other very close relative) will have had to participate in the assessment process, so at least some of your relatives presumably already know.

Regarding everyone else, take your time. There's no rush to tell everyone. I was diagnosed a year and a half ago, but until about a month ago, the only ones who knew besides myself, my parents, and the person who first suggested to me that I might have ASD. I gave my parents permission to tell my brother, and then a while later told them that I want him to know, which is all but asking them to tell him for me.

For a bunch of other relatives, I told them about a month ago (more than a year after my diagnosis) when I was with them and they had been talking about mental disorders and how they often go undiagnosed. Then, my aunt said that she had heard of a case where a woman had, as an adult, found out that she had ADHD when her son was diagnosed with it, and recognised the traits of it in herself.

That gave me a pretty strong opening to mention my ASD, which I had been diagnosed with as an adult. I should also mention: nobody was particularly surprised.

Ty so much. My immediate family are unaware of my diagnosis but my brother who now lives with his wife helped me with the diagnosis, but I trust him completely so know he won't tell anybody. I don't want to rush it so I'm going to see if I can say something about it after Christmas, preferably before February which is an awkward time for my family. I have a feeling not many in my family will be surprised either, guess I'll find it soon enough.

Ty for the links ^^

You are welcome.

It's most important things you have to learn for making friends are eye contact and facial expressions towards other people. This thread is currently about facial expressions viewtopic.php?t=280077 .

Ty for the link, it's very helpful.

I guess that you may struggle with eye contact too. The problem with it is, that eye contact is first of all a quite fast way to recognise the feeling of others. And for this you need to feel good for the one you are looking at before establishing the eye contact because he recognizes your feelings within parts of seconds. Once you look at other peoples eyes you will recognise his or her emotions towards you too. Don't ever do eye contact emotionless towards other people because they think that you feel bad towards them then (RBF) and because of their empathy they will feel bad towards you afterwards. I had already written a bit about eye contact here
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=368901&start=30#p8054848 May be this helps you a little bit too.


Here are some videos of Tony Attwood about Aspergers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuZFThlOiJI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfOHnt4PMFo

Learning something like this can be extremely confusing at first, but it can be such a relief at the same time. Now you can put a finger on the whole situation that's probably been bugging you for a while. I know it was a relief for me when I was diagnosed.

Yeah for the first 3 months, I didn't really do much research into it. I mean I had a diagnosis but I was basically where you are now. But then I started going here on WP and I learned a whole lot more. And yeah anxiety and sound problems are really big for me. There's a reason why I always carry some headphones, just in case I need to block out the outside world. I know depression is a pretty big problem for people on the spectrum, although not for everyone. Also not an issue for everyone but a big one for some people are poor executive functioning skills. And welcome to Wrong Planet!

My immediate family knows nothing of my investigation and subsequent assessment, other than my mum and I having enjoyed some quality time by the fire sharing memories in the weeks before, (memories which went into the notes I submitted).

So far I have worked on the basis that my being on the spectrum is very much a need to know only basis, on the grounds of once one has told one cannot untell, and I whould liketo avoid the situation of the wrong sort of person being informed.

I have made some controled disclosures in situations where I judged that the information would help others on the spectrum, not least that with that information disclosedthey were less likely to be seen as defective and instead seen to have something important in common with a person in their wider social circle who is percieved as successful and noted for wisdom and abilities in many areas (generally those which make the good use of the strong points in my autistic profile - pattern finding, detail focus, stubbornness etc)