Who here has experienced accidental condescension?

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By people who clearly mean well, I mean. I made this question because I'm in a special work program and I get talked to as if I were 15 years younger by merit of the sheer fact that I'm there. Honest quesch: how do I stand up for myself without looking rebellious or whatever?

How well do they know you? They might be just trying to asses your intellect.

I've been there for almost a year, but the current teachers are brand new, at least some of them.

Have they always treated you like this or is it just the new ones?

People that mean well don't do this.

They could mean well but be very incompetent.

BTW, I find that I get socially awkward when people expect me to be.

I’ve experienced stuff like this. It’s as though people think I’m stupid just because I’m shy and awkward. I usually avoid those types of people. Of course, that’s not really possible in your situation.

Happened to me when I was on psycho drugs, after my misdiagnosis.
From that point on everything I said was just a "crazy talk".
Horrible expirience.
Glad to get out of it.

This.

OK, I'm an Aspie, so I need to confirm this: you are *in* the program as a trainee, correct? Not as staff, but as a client? Because it makes a difference.

If you are a client and they're condescending to you, that usually means they're not really there to help you, but rather to feel good about themselves for having helped pitiful members of the underclass. Honestly, the best way to deal with that is to roll with it, because the amount of effort required to make them see you as a human and an equal is probably not worth the result. Look at them as providers of an essential service, and try to get as much as you can out of that service while you're there. (They'll also be very useful as negative examples - as in, "whatever you do, don't be like that" when you've moved on.)

If you are a junior colleague, on the other hand, then there are a couple possible reasons for the condescension - (a) you're younger / more attractive in their opinion / more fortunate in their opinion, and they see everything as a competition, so they use put-downs to "get even" (workplaces are just crammed with these types). or (b) they're abysmally ignorant and have no idea how to talk to less experienced, but equally intelligent, colleagues. If it's (a), roll with it until you can find another department there to work in, or another job; if it's (b), try to be kind to them, because there but for the grace of God... go you... And again, they're useful negative examples.

Hope this helps.

K, so maybe this solution might help: when they do things like, "How are you supposed to ask for things again?" and then feeding me a line, I'll just confidently say, "Don't worry, I know how to do this" and then do exactly what I'm told.

bump

the people who are condescending to me fall into 2 categories- essential gatekeepers to services I need, and just random aholes who I cross paths with now and then. the former, I keep my exchanges with them as short as possible, the latter I treat like the barking stinky upright furless dogs they are.

http://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=307787 BTW, the aftermath of this situation is making this seem like a bigger deal than it really is. It's like, I experienced people in the past making me deliberately feel like crap about myself, and it's really self-pity inducing that it sometimes seems that my only other choice is people who unintentionally make me feel that way. Also, that this is my only social outlet is really self-pity inducing too. God, I really miss the world of normies even though I hated it. I miss little things like being able to chat to people about silly things. (Then again, I do have a fellow classmate/workmate that I am starting to get close to. Maybe I should focus on that instead.)

I deal with this kind of crap all the time. I got it from university professors, work colleagues, service providers for programs I'm in, it's as if the minute people hear the word 'autism' they instantly think 'intellectually delayed'. I get high-fived a lot by people for doing trivial things too, which I think is something NTs do because they think we need praise for every little thing, and it makes them feel good about themselves to be friendly towards the poor pitiful mentally disabled person. It drives me crazy, but I pull out my massive vocabulary, and that helps some.