How can I deal with this kind of jealousy?

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I don't know why but I seem to feel quite jealous when I see or hear of people my age (29) or others in their 20s I feel have achieved more and more successful than me. At times it makes me feel and look like an under-achiever and that they are better than me and have taken off and flying with their careers that university or something has helped them achieve. I never finished or graduated from university. I do feel like only one and that I've wasted my time.

It's hard to deal with. I'm 57, and I should have been a grandpa, and I should have been promoted on my job.

And I should have had a Master's Degree, and I should have done this and I should have done that. My older brother, despite barely graduating high school, is now a millionaire.

Sometimes, I get depressed about my lack of accomplishment---yes, I do.

But I believe the best thing to do is not to compare yourself to other people. Just do the best you can to make yourself happy.

I can't help but get jealous of other people either. I am a jealous person, and being behind my peers frightens me. But I'm not behind; I live with my boyfriend, I have a job that I love (even though it's only part-time), and I have a driver's license (even though I don't have a car, I still use buses to get around). But I still get depressed and loathe myself.

I'm the sort of person that if I had everything; millions of pounds and a big mansion with a swimming-pool, and say an equally rich cousin of mine had a smaller mansion but a bigger swimming-pool, I would be jealous because she has a bigger swimming-pool.
This is how I see every situation and I don't know how to think otherwise. I should be jumping for joy that I have flown the nest and in a relationship and in the job that I always wanted, but I still compare myself to everybody else.
"He's quirkier than me, how come he's got more friends than me?"
"What if they have a baby? I don't want them to have a baby, it wouldn't feel right."
"She is always at nightclubs, she's so lucky - even though I hate nightclubs."
"Why aren't I included in things I wouldn't even want to do?"
"She gets all the guys after her and I feel ugly, even though I have a boyfriend."

I think this very strange logic of mine all comes from feelings of insecurity about having Asperger's. I think I will never be 100% happy until I can be Asperger's free, and that will never happen in a million years.

The mantra "here and now"

Keep yourself busy

Yes I am a hypocrite

The instructions were ideal and theoretical

This kind of envy is not unique to people with autism. It's a cancer on your own happiness. To get around it, you need a personal philosophy. Mantras can help. One I used in my 40's was "Less is more." I posted little notes with that phrase on it until I finally internalized it.