Feeling as if you own your special interest?

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Meerkats have always been my main special interest. I have no idea why, they just are. People telling me to shut up about them all the time as kid (they did that with my other special interests too but by the time I became obsessed with meerkats, I just didn't care what other people thought of me anymore and still talked about them. The people who mattered most to me didn't care.)

I have recently noticed, I am kind of possessive about meerkats. I was obsessed with them before Meerkat Manor was even a thing in the UK, by the time it was released in the states, everyone and their grandmother was supposedly obsessed with them too.

It is probably a good thing I was homeschooled and kind of isolated at the time because I would have probably gotten into several fights with other kids claiming they were obsessed with meerkats. Because they never had to suffer for it like I did.

My aspie boyfriend has a special interest with Bleach (the animae/manga) but I don't think he's as possive with it like I am with meerkats. Yes he did have to suffer for it, I will not go into detail but he DID. But he's still willing to share it with people if they are interested.

Me, I don't enjoy talking about meerkats unless the other person already knows about them (such as my South African zoologist friend). I was looking at some meerkat fabric the other day, trying to get my mom to buy it for me (she won't let me buy things online) because I wanted to make a dress for myself out of it. I was thinking "no one else better buy this and wear it. Only I can wear meerkats". I also saw a necklace on deviantART made out of the actual skull of a deceased meerkat. But someone had already bought it before I had the chance too. I was like "Nooooo! Only I can wear meerkats!" I know it's silly and if I was a dictator or something I wouldn't throw people in jail for wearing meerkats but I do sometimes feel as if no one else should be able have anything with meerkats on it.

I just wonder if this is a common thing for us to feel possessive over are special interests. I was never actually forbidden to talk about meerkats as a kid, it just was not encouraged. "Let's talk about something else" was usually what I heard. Or "you can only talk about meerkats for five minutes." (That would never make sense to me because my father was allowed to ramble on about politics all day long) I think if they were truly forbidden, I would have killed myself.

As an adult, I do not enjoy talking about them as much as I did as a kid. But then aside from my boyfriend, I don't honestly truely enjoy talking to anyone about anything. My passion for sharing my interests was slowly shattered into billions pieces a long time ago. People didn't want to hear about them then, why do they suddenly want to hear about them now?

I am the only person I know who is interested in Denis Istomin. I don't talk about him much to anyone. I have very personal reasons for liking him. Most people aren't interested in tennis. I'm glad I take tennis lessons, where it is okay to talk about my favorite players.

For me it's poetry and writing in general. I'm the only person in my family who's allowed to have creative writing published or I'd be upset and jealous.
The reason for this is because everyone else is capable of a day job. All I have is my writing in terms of work and proof that I've done something with my time.
I know people do day jobs and get published but I don't like to be around people who are that successful.
I was the same when I was a teenager and my beautiful, athletic, social cousin got better grades than me. All I had was being clever so it felt like she was taking that and showing she could even do that better than me. She only did better because she went to a middle class school, even she admits this. She's better at social stuff and being pretty and she's stronger than me.
Thing is, they don't challenge it. They don't try to get published. Mum showed me some of her work and it's nice but it's not publication standard stuff, it's just first draft diary stuff which anyone could write, special because mum did it not because a good writer did. She knows that. She knows you can't get first drafts of poetry published and that it takes me ten drafts and most of my stuff still gets rejected as magazines only publish 1%-5% of what comes to them.
Most of my friends are writers though, I meet them through writing and don't get jealous when they're published. Except one woman who's everywhere. Like she's a regular contributor to the Guardian and the New European. I have to work on my feelings towards her...
My other interests, no. My parents even talk to me about my imaginary world. It gets annoying when mum watches football and every other team are 'bastards' but that's because she isn't genuinely interested. If she was then I'd encourage it.
Does it annoy you that most people know meerkats these days because of Go Compare ads?

MagicMeerkat , I don't know your location but I know it's not the UK. Have you heard of the internet company comparethemarket.com , it's a comparison website and their ad campaign for the last few years ? has been based on meerkats. You should check out the adverts on youtube they are funny.



Simples

I am not clear as to what you mean by "possessive".

Do you mean that even on those rare occasions when other people...talk about meerkats...you resent them for it because meerkats (as a topic) are somehow "your property", and that those folks are "trespassers"?

Also ...if folks are now latching onto meerkats you can always boast that "I was into meerkats even before meerkats were cool!".

I definitely think I own mine, and I've learned over the years not to discuss it with friends or family because they are 'sick of me talking about it'. At least I know not to bring it up with them.

I have a friend of the family who is very accepting of me. She knows my reasons for liking Denis Istomin and encourages my interest. I think Denis Istomin is a very positive person and an inspiration to anyone who may have been told, for any reason, they couldn't do something.