Lost

Post Reply New Topic

Hello. I asked my psychologist if she believed I had autism. She said she thought about it. When she spoke to my mom about it, my mom said she didn't think so because I act more outgoing at home. I have a personality at home. My psychologist agreed. She says autism isn't situational, and if my social problems went away at home, then she doesn't think so. She said there is a lot of overlap in the way I am and autism, but do to the situational personality change, and me 'knowing what feelings are', it is probably social anxiety. And I agree, I act differently at home. When speaking to people I am not comfortable with, I am extremely akward. Which is social anxiety. But even at home I cant hold conversations, make eye contact, or be around people for too long without needing a break. I'm completely fine with not being audited, I just need a reason for why I am the way I am. And social anxiety doesn't explain it. I fidget a lot, so my psychologist recommended fidget things, and I am bothered by loud noises and bright lights, which she says is due to anxiety. I just don't know. I don't want to push it, mostly because my mom doesn't believe i have anything other than a minor anxiety problem. I just am confused.

These are some of the characteristic traits of Aspies (High Functioning Autistics):

* shy and introvert
* feel isolated through most of their childhood and into adulthood.
* avoidance of social contact or events, and may experience heightened anxiety in social situations
* seek out time alone when overloaded by other people (need to decompress after stress)
* despite a desire for friends, difficulty in initiating or maintaining close relationships
* perceived to be cold-hearted and self-centered, unfriendly
* socially awkward (inability to socialize) (severe impairment in reciprocal social interaction)
* difficulty with nonverbal communication (hand gestures, facial expression, body language, eye-to-eye gaze)
* does not understand conventional social rules (have problems with following social conventions such as respecting another person's physical space, speaking loudly in quiet places) * does not understand the use of gestures or sarcasm (may not understand the subtleties of language, such as irony and humor)
* shows a lack of empathy (difficulty understanding others’ feelings, difficulty communicating feelings)
* unaware of others’ thoughts, feelings, desires, intentions or perceptions resulting in inadvertently appearing rude or inconsiderate
* may not understand the give-and-take nature of a conversation (they do not engage family members in true two-way conversation. Instead, there is limited or awkward turn-taking, and the natural "give and take" in the conversation is missing.)
* dislikes group conversations but effective in communicating in simple one-on-one conversations
* struggles to make eye contact
* seems unengaged in a conversation (seeming aloof, arrogant and uninterested)
* being “in their own world”
* formal style of speaking; often called “little professor,” verbose
* tendency to discuss self rather than others (one-sided conversations)
* average to superior intelligence, brilliant
* may be exceptionally skilled in math, computer science, and music.
* proficient in knowledge categories of information (highly-focused interests)
* a remarkable ability for intense focus is a common trait, becoming an expert in a single object or topic to the exclusion of all others
* the capacity to persevere in specific interests without being swayed by others' opinions
* activities usually involve collecting, numbering, or listing (often likes to collect categories of things)
* obsessed with order (an innate need to make order out of apparent chaos)
* frequently a target for bullying and teasing
* extremely hard-headed
* tenacity
* impulsive
* the ability to work independently * strong self discipline
* the recognition of patterns that may be missed by others,
* an original way of thinking. (outside the box) [or even better yet – What Box!]
* have rigid routines, may prefer sameness and have difficulties with transitions or changes
* repetitive behavior, such as repetitive eating habits, listening to the same song over and over again.
* likes to wear the same clothes for days/weeks
* inability to deceive or to understand deception
* righteousness, deeply compassionate and easily outraged by injustices (renowned for being honest, having a strong sense of social justice and keeping to the rules. They strongly believe in moral and ethical principles)
* trustworthy (my word is my bond)
* open book (when comfortable completely open and honest), blunt and direct
* fearless and risk taker - "seem to have no sense of guilt or of danger"
* face blind (prosopagnosia)
* prefers hands-on learning experiences
* double check to make sure the door is locked and the lights are turned off.
* child-like imagination
* limitless curiosity
* inattentive to grooming and personal hygiene, awkward appearance
* strong dislike of being interrupted when talking (It short-circuits the train of thought)
* remembers very early childhood events.
* perfectionist
* difficulty accepting mistakes
* difficulty making friends
* difficulty taking advice
* difficulty managing anger
* pattern of black and white thinking
* as a young child - bossy; a little older - tattletale
* calm in a crisis
* dislikes multitasking
* when young, exhibited self-stimulatory behavior: stimming (thumb-sucking)
* may have motor-skill delays and appear clumsy or awkward.
* lack of imagination.
* lack of humor.
* immature or unusual grasp for handwriting and other fine hand movements.
* overly sensitive to touch, sounds, tastes, smells, and sights.
* lack of common sense.
* terrible sense of direction.
* pessimism.
* speak in a pedantic way often with a monotone voice.
* have gastrointestinal problems.

It doesn't mean that you will have all of these traits to be considered an Aspie but you will exhibit a great number of these traits.

I find a great deal of these describe me, and the few people who know me would too. The psychologist said that I had many overlapping traits, the only reason she wouldn't test me is because I react differently in social situations depending on if I am with my family or not. When in public areas, I will either not speak to people, or if I do, it is terribly akward. They said it's due to anxiety, but oftentimes when my psychologist explains why I do things, that's not how I feel. Yes, I have awful anxiety. But when I don't speak to people, it's due to me getting overwhelmed, not anxious. When I am with my family, I still find myself feeling akward, I just display it differently. I hide it because I know they dislike it. But my mom doesn't believe that, and since I am more relaxed with my family, I seem more outgoing, but still introverted.

Is your psychologist specially trained in autism? Is she aware of the ways autism presents differently in girls than in boys? If no to either question, she might not be an appropriate person to assess you.

Are there any other people in your immediate or extended family who might be autistic, in your view? It's not a required feature, but there is a strong genetic or inherited component which may be a supporting reason for evaluation.

As a child, my teacher reported I was very shy at school, and my mother was surprised because I was just the opposite at home. I was never assessed until both my parents were dead, and I was 61. It might have made a difference in my life, if I had been.

Autism is not situational but how “impairing” it can be is affected by situations. You may not have innate knowlege of what to expect and do in social situations but you have 17 years experience with your family members, enough time figure some of these things out.

Is it anxiety causing autistic traits, or autism causing anxiety? Without knowing you I can’t tell but I agree with others that seeing an autism specialist with understanding of how autism presents in females is a good idea. The fact the autistic traits are while less at home are still there, the fidgeting, the problems with eye contact even at home and the especially noise and light sensitivities are arguments for seeing a specialist.