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imdoneone
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25 Dec 2018, 1:57 pm

How can I make sure that my family members who also have autism to not have any children?



Prometheus18
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25 Dec 2018, 2:11 pm

You can't - and more importantly, shouldn't - make them do so. You can use rational arguments and persuasion, however. Personally, I don't ever want children and can't conceive if how anybody else would want them, autistic or not, but for some reason people do and, in a liberal democracy, we can't stop them.



nick007
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25 Dec 2018, 11:23 pm

You could try to get guardianship of them & get them fixed. but otherwise you can NOT stop anyone from having children & that should be their personal choice & noone else's but their partners.


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25 Dec 2018, 11:32 pm

... This smacks of eugenics.

There is absolutely NO REASON for autistic spectrum individuals to not have children


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shortfatbalduglyman
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26 Dec 2018, 12:40 am

You can't "make sure" some else does not have children

You can't make them get surgery that will prevent them having children

Autism might be genetic and autistic parents might miss more social cues than neurotypical, but that's like saying, everyone that does not have good genes should not have children

You can try to :evil: educate :roll: them about the risk of having autistic children or whatever

But you do not have the authority to tell them not to have children



DystopianShadows
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26 Dec 2018, 12:49 am

Are you serious right now?

You can't stop anyone from having children. It's their decision, not yours.


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ToughDiamond
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26 Dec 2018, 1:04 am

I can see some validity in the argument that ASD people who are severely impaired might do better not to have kids, but I can see some validity in applying the same argument to quite a few types of people, including cruel people, money-grabbers, lying backbiters, etc. I think if I had the power to impose restrictions on who could and who couldn't reproduce, I'd just leave things as they are. I might try to convince some individuals that I thought they were taking a terrible risk, but I doubt I'd convince them, and it's really not for me to decide for them.

This impacts on me personally because my partner's daughter has severe ASD, and if she were to get pregnant then I think it would be a disaster, and the effect on my partner would no doubt cause me a lot of grief too. I count myself very lucky that she seems to be taking precautions when she's sexually active and that she seems well convinced that she'd not make a good mother, and doesn't want kids. I've not had to personally influence the situation at all, and I just hope nothing changes in that respect.



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26 Dec 2018, 2:01 am

It isn't up to you at all.
Autism or no autism it isn't your business and we shouldn't live in a world with a eugenics mindset.


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26 Dec 2018, 4:32 am

It isn't your business and if they're able enough to get into consensual sexual experiences then the level of autism isn't at the rate where it's unethical.

Someone with the social capabilities of a child is a different matter. I feel pretty young so I'm very picky about my experiences because I've been groomed before, as an adult.

(If they're able to navigate the social world of adoption or sperm donation/surrogacy, again, I wouldn't worry).

I had two aspie parents growing up. Unusually, I had three parents. A stepdad who adopted me, a mother and a father. My father shouldn't have had kids I think. He's schizophrenic and paranoid and has meltdowns regularly where he shouts at people. He doesn't care if kids are about. I had to put up with that all my childhood, and the risk of violence. At some points, I suspect he really was violent and that mum's lying about it because otherwise I had very vivid dreams of it.

I suppose meltdowns might look like this in some autistic people, those people specifically should consider those risks when having kids.

My stepdad was a different matter. He's a stubborn old sod. Sometimes he can be a social burden, such as when he's brutally honest to people we don't know well. But he's clever and creative and allowed me an imaginative childhood with room for learning that I suspect a lot of NT parents wouldn't have allowed. My mother allowed/encouraged it but I think that's because she's a lot nicer than a lot of other NTs. My happiness was the main focus of her life.

If I were to ever have kids (outside my paracosm) I would want to have kids who were the sort formally known as aspie. I would bear the meltdowns for the sake of intelligent children who saw things their own way and weren't as socially influenced. I would help them through the bullying and the sensory issues. Maybe this is because I haven't seen anyone with severe autism.

I know I'm not being PC here. I know you're meant to act like everyone ought to feel able to/be allowed to have kids. I'm glad of my own existence but honestly, I wish my biological father was someone else. And I'm saying that as someone who loves him in spite of the horrible experiences I had as a kid - but who keeps him at a distance for safety's sake.

And if someone isn't capable of consenting properly then them having any sort of sexual experience or entering into social contracts about taking care of another human being (it would be stopped so unless you're in a culture where adoption lacks structure and a vetting procedure, I wouldn't worry. Mum wanted to foster a kid and they went into every aspect of my childhood, her childhood, my stepdad's childhood, our current life, life in the area etc. This is for a kid who lives at home in the week and it isn't a long term thing. Adoption I imagine is stricter) ... is something to concern oneself about.

I think if they're aspie they'll have considered things like the endless noise a baby emits and whether they're not too sound sensitive for such things and the need for a new routine when baby comes.

But in general I think that aspie parents make for nicer ones for the kid to have than a lot of horror stories I've read about some, even law abiding/relatively decent, NT parents. I couldn't have wished for a nicer childhood from the ages of 9 to 13. It was unusual, for sure. But I think a lot of childhoods are.



TimS1980
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26 Dec 2018, 5:31 am

See title on a feed aggregator.

"Oh wow"

Click in, yep, 5 ppl already said what I would have said



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26 Dec 2018, 8:55 am

Nope. That’s eugenics.

Many autistic/Asperger’s people have “normal” kids and are able to parent well. Many have Spectrumite kids and are able to parent well.

A person with “severe” ASD, truthfully, probably does not have the capacity to consent to sex, and a “normal” or higher-functioning person having sex with such a person might even be charged with rape. I’m speaking of Level 3 people.

For a sample of a sweet adolescent girl with severe ASD, please go to YouTube and watch “Fathering Autism.”

Autism is not genetic in the Mendelian sense. It is a more random condition than that. “Normal” people with “good genetics” give birth to autistic people all the time. And autistic people (especially those who are “higher functioning”) give birth to “normal” people all the time.



Arevelion
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26 Dec 2018, 10:05 am

imdoneone wrote:
How can I make sure that my family members who also have autism to not have any children?


Out of morbid curiosity I have to ask, what were you expecting? For someone to casually spell out a legal procedure for preventing autistic people from having kids, as though it's done everyday?



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26 Dec 2018, 12:51 pm

I'm offended by this, personally and on behalf of all other autistic people. I have autism and, while my life hasn't been easy, I think I've contributed positively to the world and to my family. My son has autism; he may not always fit in, but he's a brilliant, kind, wonderful kid. And you post on this forum--an autism forum-- seriously asking how to prevent more people like us from being born? What kind of answer do you expect, beyond "Go to hell"?


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26 Dec 2018, 1:07 pm

I'm hoping to have a kid one day. Hopefully it won't be on the spectrum, because my boyfriend and all his family seem to be NT and NT is common in humans so hopefully the NT gene will go to my baby. I don't want the faulty autistic gene to go to my baby.


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Prometheus18
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26 Dec 2018, 1:17 pm

Why are people so bothered about their children's having autism? I never want children for separate reasons, but if I did have one, I'd actively WANT it to have autism, as long as it was the high functioning kind (Asperger's).



nick007
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26 Dec 2018, 1:18 pm

Perhaps the OP doesn't think that autistics or some autistics are mentally fit to raise kids which can be true but more so with the severely affected like level 3 1s. Where I come from Aspergers is thought of as like a less sever form of mental retardation so I can understand why some people believe people on the spectrum are not fit to raise kids. Lots of Aspies could step up to the plate if having kids were in the cards for them. Lots may need help & support but could take on the changeling of raising kids. However the autistics who are more severely affected may not be mentally fit to raise them. I'm talking about the kind of autistics who are mute, have violent meltdowns regularly & need caretakers to be with them most all the time. Of corse the severely affected like that would be alot less likely to be in a position to have kids anyways.


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