Really hate being late for appointments but always are

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Kokibro
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05 Jan 2013, 7:12 pm

I went to a group therapy session everyday at 8:30am Monday to Friday and was always consistently late for 3 months.

I even mentioned to the group and therapist that I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and tried to blame it on that. But the therapist shot me down and said "if I did have AS I would be the first one there every morning!'

This has been a constant throughout my life, late again! late again! late again!, from birth, school, work, family, friends...
Even for Doctors appointments, my Doc tells the receptionist to notify me of my appointment 30 minutes in advance.

I'm guessing that I could be alone on this one maybe, I don't know. It stresses me out to the max and makes me anxious but I keep right on doing it like a dummy even though I know it's rude and disrespectful?
I sit there beating myself up over it while hanging my head in shame and feeling everyones anger at me. What's wrong with me?
All the other AS traits I can relate to 100% textbook like, except lateness.


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Last edited by Kokibro on 06 Jan 2013, 8:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

StevieC
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05 Jan 2013, 7:44 pm

same here :?


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TheValk
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05 Jan 2013, 7:49 pm

I have the same issue, and I believe a week or so ago somebody found its name... iirc... what was it... Executive dysfunction? I think.



khaos
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05 Jan 2013, 8:54 pm

I am usually late because I think okay my appt is at 9:30am, and it's 8:00am now. So I usually take about a half hour to get ready, so I will start that at about 8:45-9:50am. So I have about 45 minutes before I need to start getting ready, so I find something to pass the time and then I find it and here is where I mess up and get too involved and run late lol. Then say "Oh crap (or other variation :) ) and it's 9:00am. So I have to really RUSH and then of course I need gas, etc. I am horrible at that and have a hard time planning things. I don't always think of EVERYTHING I need.


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loner1984
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06 Jan 2013, 2:14 am

I the same problem. I has nothing to do with.preparing earlier. I can start to get ready 3 hours before appointment and ill still be late. I have very bad feeling of time. I think normal people use the same time doing stuff.

With me one day a bath may take 5min or it might take 30 min. Time just goes very fast sometimes.



SpaghettiSmuggler
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06 Jan 2013, 6:42 am

I am late to absolutely everything even work, but fortunately I work for charity so I have not been fired, I agree with what was mentioned previously if I wake up with 15 minutes or 8 hours to get there I am usually late by the same amount.

Does anyone else find that everything they attend regularly, they are consistently late to? By that I mean late by the same amount of time.



albeniz
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06 Jan 2013, 7:18 am

I also have this problem and it is difficult to explain why.

I gather it comes from the Asperger poor perception of time but I have a feeling anxiety and stress also play a role, especially if the appointment involves interaction with other people. I think the problem of procrastination is related. I tend to procrastinate when I have to perform some sort of undesirable or difficult task at work and end up finishing it right on the deadline or later, whatever the task or the normal duration it should take. The source of this I figure is anxiety.



Venusflower67
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06 Jan 2013, 7:22 am

yep, I can relate to all the above :( ..my partner who is not AS is the same, if not worse than me, at being late for absolutely EVERYTHING! ...this whole time thing drives me insane :P

Maz :)



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06 Jan 2013, 7:51 am

Kokibro wrote:
I went to a group therapy session everyday at 8:30am Monday to Friday and was always consistently late for 3 months.

I even mentioned to the group and therapist that I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and tried to blame it on that. But the therapist shot me down and said "if I did have AS I would be the first one there every morning!'

This has been a constant throughout my life, late again! late again! late again!, from birth, school, work, family, friends...
Even for Doctors appointments, my Doc tells the receptionist to notify of my appointment 30 minutes in advance.

I'm guessing that I could be alone on this one maybe, I don't know. It stresses me out to the max and makes me anxious but I keep right on doing it like a dummy even though I know it's rude and disrespectful?
I sit there beating myself up over it while hanging my head in shame and feeling everyones anger at me. What's wrong with me?
All the other AS traits I can relate to almost textbook, except lateness.


Your therapist is wrong. Executive dysfunction is frequently part of AS, and it means you have trouble organising your time

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Executive_dysfunction

http://www.ncld.org/types-learning-disa ... e-function

The following are just a couple of things affected:

Make plans
Keep track of time and finish work on time
goal-directed action

Which can all affect your time-keeping. I have always had the same issue. I think with me it boils down to procrastination and distraction that I end up late no matter how well I have organised myself for an appointment.


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06 Jan 2013, 11:58 am

I have OCD and ASD and at my OCD group therapy sessions I was always the first on there...I even ridiculed the rest of the group for constantly being late and that people with OCD were usually on time...little did I realize I was only speaking for myself...the guy with ASD :oops:



Marvin the Martian
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22 Dec 2018, 8:26 am

I am late often as well. Lost jobs over it. I've found out for me what has helped with time slipping by me is to play music in the background. It's a way to get a sense of how much time has passed. I even have started creating play lists that cover, 15 min. , 30 min, etc. It helps me create a routine that is time regulated.

Also a GPS program called waze has helped a lot. You can give it a starting point and the time you want to arrive at your destination. It even shows when traffic is heavy or light along your route. It can be setup as part of a routine pie one time event, days in advance. It even has a feature that sends a notification 20 minutes before you have to leave so yippy get out the door on time. Still I set my arrival time 15 minutes early, just in case.

This has not eliminated my tardiness, but has significantly reduced it.



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22 Dec 2018, 8:52 am

I can relate to that. Especially once you are late enjoy to be there and to see the others and don't feel sad.
It causes the others to enjoy to see you too and they are much less sad then. Once they started at work with daily meetings every morning and I was constantly late. An if not me then a workmate who is quite the same way. In the end they gave up to be pissed off every morning because of this. :skull:


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22 Dec 2018, 10:14 am

I'm an outlier here. I'm always early. On a couple of occasions, however, even though I set out early, I got myself lost and missed events I wanted to attend. I always set out early because I don't want to rush and risk getting into a car accident. Plus, if I will be visiting a doctor for the first time, I know there is paperwork to be filled out, so I go early so I can have it ready by the time of my appointment.



armandreyes
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22 Dec 2018, 2:27 pm

Problem with Executive Function, characteristic of asperger



Eliza_Day
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22 Dec 2018, 8:22 pm

I've always been late too, although in recent years I've made more of an effort to be on time. If I have an appointment, I'll stay at my mums and she'll make sure I'm ready on time.

I hate being late because it creates a bad impression and I hate people being annoyed with me!



tentoedsloth
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22 Dec 2018, 8:39 pm

A therapist doesn't know everything.

I'm late a lot too. Like others who have commented, I start to get ready in plenty of time. Then I think I have time to do something else, and get involved in that, and lose track of time. :oops:


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